He doth get on that there bus, headed yonder.

Nodding at the driver, I fumbled with my bus pass, slipping at into my pocket so I could drop it into my inventory without anyone seeing.

‘I’ve got access to an interdimensional space that defies modern science, a place only I can access where I can store any item I wish within given limits. And how am I using this epic power? To hold my wallet, phone, and a single small knife that I borrowed from the flat kitchen.’

I’d decided before leaving the flat this morning that heading out and about unarmed with everything that had happened was just asking for trouble. ‘Video game stats probably mean video game enemies, and I am nowhere near ready to beat up some starter monster with my bare fists, at least not yet.’

Chuckling to myself, I shifted the straps of my backpack into a more comfortable position as I waited for Sophie to finish up with the driver, trying not to feel slightly disappointed that I couldn’t stow the semi-heavy bag too, as it would definitely raise suspicion if I started pulling books out of thin air.

As I should’ve realised when she’d mentioned our morning class over breakfast, Sophie studied on the same course as I did, because of course she did. After breakfast, we’d split up to gather the rest of our things before heading out together, an arrangement I found I didn’t mind in the least. The plan was to meet up with our third flatmate (now a girl by the name of Annie), who’d had apparently gone in early this morning to make use of the university’s library.

Finished with the driver, Sophie turned and walked deeper into the to catch up to where I stood in the aisle, a warm smile on her face as she saw me waiting on her.

“Your seat, Madame.” I said with a grin, guesting towards an empty row of seats.

“Why thank you, good sir!” she said with a giggle, green eyes sparking and her smile turning impish as she gave me a little curtsy, the short skirt of her uniform revealing a rather generous portion of thigh above her knee-high socks.

“Get a room!”

The shout, which came from one of the rows around the back of the bus, caused Sophie to blanch, a familiar blush rising to her cheeks as she ducked into the proffered seat, ducking out of view before any further comments could be forthcoming.

Shooting a miffed look in that general direction, I took the aisle seat next to her, internally sighing when a glance showed Sophie sat with a stiff posture, staring out the window and decidedly not looking in my direction.

Shrugging, I decided to take the time to study my new status information to see what I could learn.

“Hey, I’m going to rest my eyes a little. Could you nudge me when we get there?”

Looking surprised at my request, Sophie nevertheless nodded, some of her tension leaking away as she relaxed a little, gracing me with a shy smile.

Closing my eyes, I mentally brought up my notifications.

Achievement unlocked: Rookie Casanova.

You flirted with a girl (on purpose) and she didn’t run away screaming. We didn’t know you had it in you.

You gain the following:

• + 10 Exp.

• + 10 Waifu Exp.

• + £10.00.

• + 1 Charisma.

Tuning out the system snark, I read over what I’d gained. Whilst I still wasn’t sure what exactly Waifu Exp was for, I knew that the single point of charisma I’d just earned was enough to bump me over the first attribute threshold.

Achievement unlocked: baby socialite.

You increased your charisma to at least 10, passing the first attribute threshold. Your mouth no longer acts as a permanent storage solution for your foot! You may find that people will now be slightly more receptive to your words, and that people will stop giving you quite so many funny looks.

• +25 Exp.

• +£25.00.

• The things you say out loud will no longer be humorously edited from what you intended to say without your knowledge.

‘SON OF A…!’ As was quickly becoming my go to move when thrown a curveball by the system, I slipped into the serenity of meditation, wrestling with my irritation until I felt I was calm enough to continue.

‘The worst thing about it is that I will never know what I said and to whom! How many arguments with my parents, friends, and ex-girlfriends were caused by my brain saying the right thing but my mouth saying the wrong thing?! New priority. I need to fix everything under 10, pronto. Who knows how bad the universe has been shitting on me until now?’

Sighing, I closed the notification and opened the next one, my mood instantly bouncing back as I read its contents.

Level up!

You have reached Lvl2.

Your HP and mana have been completely restored.

You have earned 200 Universal credits.

You now have 5 free attribute points to spend.

Cheering internally, I set about enacting my plan of action from moments ago, assigning two of the points to wisdom and three to endurance, bringing them both to 10.

Achievement unlocked: fortune cookie sage.

You increased your wisdom to at least 10, passing the first attribute threshold. That little voice in your head telling you to do dangerous stuff is full of shit! Potentially self-destructive ideas will no longer seem quite so appealing to you.

• +25 Exp.

• +£25.00.

• The chance that following your gut instincts leads to a favourable outcome has drastically improved.

• Each point of wisdom gained now adds 0.05/min to your mana regen rate rather than 0.025/min.

Achievement unlocked: made of strong(ish) stuff

You increased your endurance to at least 10, passing the first attribute threshold. You will no longer fold like a cheap suit after taking any form of damage. Congrats, being sneezed on by an enemy is no longer a **** sentence! Your overall level of fitness has also been improved. Aren’t we generous?

• +25 Exp.

• +£25.00.

• Your body is now slightly more sturdy. Attacks that land will cause less damage overall.

• Each point of endurance gained now adds 2 to your total HP, rather than 1.

The final window closed, marking the end of my notifications. Happy despite the bucket loads of system snark, I opened my status screen to study my gains.