He doesn't know

As I knew this was coming, I tried to prepare myself. But hearing someone, especially my mom, ask if I was crushing on by best friend was enough to throw me off.

"Mom..." I truly didn't know what to say. I knew what we had promised each other, Chloe and I. But I also knew how I was feeling. I used to think that being friends simply meant being there for each other. Letting each other know that you cared for them. Protecting them from bullies and stuff like that. But as we got older, being bullied became less about mean words and more about fist fights and yelling.

I remember this one day, where I almost got suspended from my school. It was back when Chloe and I were in our freshman year of high school. I was hanging out with my friend Nolan at lunch when I heard some girls laughing. One of them started talking about a girl that was currently being bullied. I paid little attention, as bullying was unfortunately something we all had to deal with at that school. But I just managed to catch the last piece of their conversation. "...yeah, little miss red-head deserves it. Did you see the look on her face when Alexis tore up her stupid backpack? Like seriously, who wears a Star Wars backpack into a high school?" As the girls walked away, laughing, I became furious. _I _knew someone who wore a Star Wars backpack, and who had red hair. I was the one who bought her the damn backpack. She was a huge nerd, especially when it came to Star Wars. As I stood up from the table, my friend Nolan looked up at me. "Dude? Hey, Sam, you okay? You look mad..." He stopped talking as I began walking away from the table and lunchroom, heading towards the school's courtyard.

I stormed through the halls, moving as quickly as possible to find her. All of the sudden, I heard a roar of laughter coming from outside. I picked up my pace and ran to the front doors of the school. The closer I got, the louder the laughing grew, and my anger grew with it. When I finally reached the doors, I pushed both with my hands and **** them opened. They slammed loudly into the surrounding walls. The laughing ceased immediately. Dozens of students had formed a circle, surrounding whatever they had been so keen on laughing at. As all of the heads turned towards me, no one dared to make a noise.

I walked towards the group, and people made a path for me to walk through. As I walked into the middle of the circle, my eyes grew wide and I was overcome with a multitude of feelings. On the ground lay my best friend, clutching the remains of her Star Wars backpack. The bag had been shredded and torn apart, and it was missing one it's straps. As I examined Chloe, I saw that she had bruises and scratches on her arms and legs. Her shirt was torn as well, and anyone looking could see her bra. When I looked to her face, I nearly cried out in anger and frustration. Both of her eyes were swollen from being hit, as well as from sobbing. Tears were currently streaming down her face, and her nose was a little bloody. As I looked into her green eyes, I knew mine were becoming filled with fury. And before I knew what I was doing, I turned to her assailants.

A girl I knew by the name of Alexis was standing over Chloe, holding the strap of my friend's backpack. She had a scratch on her face that was bleeding slightly, but other than that, she looked alright. Her boyfriend, Jackie, was standing next to her, his arms folded. He had a smug look on his face. As I stepped towards him, I fixed that right up. I swung my fist forward, bringing it into his jaw. Jackie didn't know what to expect, so he fell backwards, landing on his butt. I brought my foot up and kicked him in the face, taking a small bit of pleasure in the "oof!" noise I heard come from him.

Alexis screamed and jumped on me. As full of anger as I was, I didn't want to hit a girl, so I pushed her off of me into the crowd. Jackie touched his mouth and began to stand up. "You're gonna regret that, asshole!" He walked towards me menacingly, but I was undeterred. I prepared to strike again as I as came closer. When he was just barely in range for me to swing, I felt a blow against my left knee from behind. Then one on my right knee. I heard a scream from my right, and I knew it had come from Chloe. As I tried to stand back up, a fist slammed into my stomach. I looked up to see Jackie staring right down at me. He hit me twice in the face while two of his friends secured my arms. Jackie's expression was one of pure arrogance. "I'm gonna make you hurt real bad, Sammy boy," he snarled. I simply smiled. "If you say so. Might wanna get that nose checked out first though, it's not looking too good." His expression turned into one of hate. As he pulled his arm back, a teacher burst from the crowd behind him, taking hold of Jackie's arms. His two friends were pulled off, their holds on my arms released. I subsequently fell towards the ground, my head hitting the concrete.

After that, I remember waking up to see Chloe and Nolan leaning in above me. The both looked scared, and Chloe had fresh tears leaking down her cheeks. I tried to smile, but it hurt way too much. I think I passed out again soon after, because I don't remember anything until I woke up later that afternoon in my own home. The principal had called my mother and screamed at her for a full hour before he finally agreed to let me come back to school. Apparently, hitting the star football player and "starting a fight" was uncalled for and unnecessary. My parents didn't care though, and neither did Chloe's. We all went out for ice cream that night, and I remember Chloe and I going outside to take a walk. Eventually, we sat down on a bench right outside the restaurant. After she thanked me and I assured her it was not a problem, we talked for a bit before she fell asleep, her head leaning on my shoulder. I carried her to her car that night.

That memory hit me like a truck as I stood there, thinking about how I would answer my mother's question. I knew how I felt about her. I knew that I thought she was amazing and beautiful and funny and everything I wanted in a girlfriend, but something held me back.

"Mom, I know this sounds stupid. But...I'm just not sure. I mean, I like her a lot as a friend. But romantically? I just don't know..."

She looked at me concernedly. "Sam...what's holding you back sweetie? I've seen the way you look at her, and the way she looks at you. It's obvious you like each other! So why are you so worried?"

I shook my head. "Do...do you remember the pact Chloe and I made?"

The look she gave me was one of confusion, questioning, and a small bit of disbelief. "Seriously? Sam, you're holding yourself back from such an amazing girl because of that?" She stared at me incredulously.

"It meant something to us, mom! It was a promise we made, one that I intend to keep. I won't hurt her because I might feel something for her now."

She raised an eyebrow. "Might feel something?"

"Ughhh!" I groaned in irritation as I stormed out the back door of my house.

My mom stood up from her seat. "Sam," she yelled, "where are you going?" She let out her own groan as she sat back down. "I swear, I just don't understand that boy sometimes!" She pulled her phone out from her pants pocket and dialed her husband's cell. "Hello, honey? Yeah, hey sweetie, it's me. Hey, you know that thing we were talking about the other day? Yeah, that one. Well, I think it's time we start putting that plan into action."