Hayley finds John a family

"Hayley-bot, use your algorithm to find me three celebrities who will be my slutty, sexy daughter, my shy, nerdy daughter, and my athletic tomboy daughter."

"Yes, Master," said Hayley-bot. "Running scan for perfect daughters...scan complete."

"Slutty, sexy daughter: Kim Kardashian. Match: 99%"

"Shy, nerdy daughter: Taylor Swift. Match: 96.8%"

"Athletic tomboy daughter: Gal Gadot. Match: 98.4%."

"Perfect," said John. He thought quickly, installing a brief mind control app into the celeb's phones. The app would put them into a trance, a trance which would last long enough for John to place the chips on them.

Kim, Taylor, and Gal all arrived at John's house, all in a mindless trance.