Guromance

I'm happy to be where I'm at in life. Sure, mortals run at the sight of me and I hardly remember my obsolete human form, and I appear as an evil demon according to my friends. My company, Guromance, is the best in all the second and third best categories, and for now, I think I prefer that. Since even before I founded this company, I've been reknown for wit and ingenuity countering my rivals far more basic- and also most often more useful- advantages: brute , funds, connections and scientific head starts.

I quickly gained the upperhand when some of my most crucial gambits payed off! Giving sapient minds tools of war paid off quickly, as did granting bodies to the paralyzed. Starting my own schools and cities put me in a league of my own, giving me a true edge over less culturally savy competitors. But I didn't care to win a contest. Like the best of the other inventors, I wanted to expand the blessings of a wise life. I used my technology on myself, and it was the start of a new dimension.

While others focused too much on putting more tools in a human body, I put the human mind in otherwise inconspicuous places, and turned entire neighborhoods and wild terrain into massive, self aware creatures smarter than the most brilliant academics, which under my command would turn roads into rivers and grass and dirt into blood and knives. And I used this on my own body and brain. Wounded, I could replenish my veins with help the Earth I had done so much for. Unarmed, and my treants would wake and defend me.

Most of all I enjoyed becoming... Better.

Oh, it was just a pair of snakes popping from the top of my back: a scarlette king snake just above coral snake- conjoined where their tails seamlessly became the bone at the back of my neck. Their minds are separate from my own, but I control my entire body, including them as though they were like my fingers. They're both smarter than most people and often give great advice.

The only tat I have is of a 3 headed snake, all around my body, with the middle pair of eyes on the sides of my neck and my torso resembling an open jaw, full of teeth, as black ink over my nipples to resemble nostrils on a green upper lip that stretches over the orange, brown and white of it teeth and cave of a mouth. Over time I added symbols to this stand alone leviathan. I had this tat from before living creatures of mine were merged with my own body.

They weren't my first or most powerful or bizarre upgrades; they were my favorite! So I got more.

Eventually, my once muscular body had been turned into a single, super dense yet lightweight living robot skeleton, which could float, fly and go through walls, and the meat on my bones replaced by vast swarms of serpants, bats and arachnids that each had nanobots melt into each of the molecules in their body.

Why all these snakes? And spiders? And bats? They eat pests. And trillions more reasons and upgrades could be mentioned but it's not crucial to know, yet. What is crucial, is that I'm a flying motherfucker made of magic bones and angel monsters.

I can move snakes from any part of me, and was essentially a ghost in swarm form, I'm usually just a floating pile of bones surrounded by a city full of snakes and other spooky creatures that are actually parts of my own body.

I was among the fewest of the most elite of my species, but was I content with that? No, I wanted to siphon my mind into the fabric of the universe.

Well, our robot armies are long ways away from creating innate meaning, but I've found that my machine god child is going to do fine without my instruction, so I'm now free to fuck and fight.