Golfing

A couple of hours later I stepped out of the clubhouse of the resort's 9 hole golf course. I was dressed the part in brand new shorts and a polo shirt. I had the finest clubs I could rent and a caddy whose name I made no effort to remember. I'd tipped him a little extra to never open his mouth, and he'd nodded understanding.

"Will. Good to see you," said Mr. Astor. The words were polite, but he sounded like he was saying them out of obligation.

Reuben Astor looked like a cross between a cliché of a businessman and a cliché of a porn star. He had a huge, bushy mustache and a neatly slicked back hairstyle. He was tall and barrel chested, looking like he could pick me up and break me, but he had finely manicured nails. I had never managed an inch of approval from the man, vague tolerance was all I'd gotten.

Xavier was there too.

"Let's get started," said Mr. Astor. "We don't have to wait, the first hole is free."

Our caddies picked up our bags and we started walking. The club had golf carts, but the big man enjoyed the walk.

When we got to the first hole, he looked at me and said, "You can take the first shot. You do remember how to play, yes? Your days on the college team weren't that long ago."

"Well, I am pretty rusty," I said. I'd told a number of lies to impress Nicole's family and fit in with them. As far as they knew I spoke several languages that I knew they didn't speak a word of, I was a champion equestrian, but a knee injury kept me from riding anymore, and I was a terrific golfer in college, but I hadn't played in years.

I pulled out a driver, lined up on the ball, and swung.

"Good shot!" yelled Xavier as the ball sailed toward the green.

In the case of golf, the lies had been that I played in college and I hadn't played in years. In reality, I never went to college and I practiced as often as possible. It's important to be able to back up at least one claim.

Mr. Astor wasn't as impressed as Xavier unfortunately. He ignored my shot, which was good enough that I'd probably get a birdie, and lined up on his own ball with no particular hurry.

"You know, I find you to be a very curious young man."

"Is that right?" I asked.

"Yes." He looked down the shaft of his club, checking it as if a $1,700 Honma driver could possibly be crooked. "You've told us stories about your parents, but they passed away and you have no other relatives. You went to a prestigious university, but you don't have any photos of your time there. It's like your whole life only exists on paper."

Vlad's money had bought me a lot of paperwork to fill out my background, but reliable witnesses were harder to forge or hack. I shrugged. "I've tried not to look back much. I've always focused on getting things done and moving on, building myself up. Nicole has opened me up a bit, made me spend a little more time slowing down to enjoy life, taking a selfie now and then."

"Yes, she's a lovely girl." The older man swung his club, hitting the ball with a "whack!" that sounded much more threatening than mine. He immediately stepped to the side and motioned for Xavier to hurry up and take his shot. He didn't even wait to see where his own ball landed first. "She talks about you almost non-stop."

One of my secret super talents is being able to blush on cue. "Yes, I'm the same way about her."

Xavier finished his shot and we walked towards the green in silence. I had an easy shot, I could definitely make the hole and get a birdie. I lined up and started to swing.

New profile added: Nicole Astor's Bride's Maids.

I chipped the ball, sending it flying way too far and in the wrong direction. That message popping into my head right as I was swinging was really disconcerting.

Mr. Astor smiled with more glee than I'd ever seen. "I guess you are pretty rusty."

I tried to laugh it off, but that hurt. I really needed to impress this guy. "That just proves that I was telling the truth about playing in college and not having played since then, right?"

It was bad logic. It didn't prove that at all and who would even say something like that. However...

"...Yes?" said Mr. Astor with a bit of ****. "That does seem logical."

-3 BS. 32 remaining.

Who needs old college buddies verifying your story when you have a fake trophy and a magical lie-improving app?

By the time Mr. Astor was lining up for his putt, he was in the mood to talk again. "There are a few things about you that confuse me, however."

"Oh? Like what? Ask me anything, I'm an open book."

He looked up from his shot. "Are you? That's good to hear. That means you won't mind that I hired a team of investigators to verify your life story."

A team?! He hired a fucking team?! Vlad was good at producing backgrounds, but there's only so much he could do. I stepped up to Mr. Astor, looked at him as seriously as I could and said, "I wouldn't expect anything less, sir."

He seemed surprised. "Really?"

"Sir, I love your daughter very much. I know she can be a little trusting at times, and I know she needs someone to look out for her. I respect you for doing that for her and I hope that I can be that person in the future."

He took a moment to absorb that. The silence dragged on for much longer than I expected.

-15 BS. 17 remaining.

Wow, that took a lot more than it should have.

The only reaction I got from Nicole's father was a short grunt. He took his shot, then walked away from the hole. I followed him while Xavier quickly finished up his turn.

I managed a decent drive at the second hole, but again my future father-in-law decided to start talking while he lined up his shot.

"The odd thing that my people found is that there are no grave stones for your parents."

My parents were currently watching TV in a single wide trailer in Tallahassee. "There was a sink hole problem in the cemetery a few years ago. They had to move many of the graves and, with my permission, they cremated the remains of my parents instead of re-entombing them."

"Yes, that's what my investigators said. They also said that almost nobody still lived in your home town anymore."

Which is why we picked that town for my fake life story. "Yes, after several plants shut down, the town dried up."

Mr. Astor lined up his shot. "It's just rather odd that there's this recurring pattern of everything in your life leaving no trace. Don't you think that's odd?" He swung, again hitting the ball with a weirdly intimidating whack.

I had a set speech for whenever a mark started piecing together the pattern of my lies. It was a last ditch effort, and how well it worked depended on how much they trusted me.

"Sir, have you ever read a book about called 'The Great Trash Can Conspiracy'?"

He sighed as if he'd expected something like this. "No, I have not."

"It's all about this group of people in a small town who noticed that whenever they picked their trash cans up off the curb, the logo was always facing east. It didn't matter how they'd set it out, which side of the road they were on, or which trash man had emptied their trash. The logo was always facing east when they found it. After awhile some of them started saying there must be a sinister reason for this. At first they wouldn't say what it might be, but eventually the got so worked up that they started jokingly saying that aliens were messing with their trash. Then they made that joke so many times that they started taking it seriously."

Mr. Astor sighed. "I suppose there is a twist ending to this story?"

I shrugged. "Not a very interesting one. When they stormed the garbage company demanding answers, they found out that one of the older garbage men really thought it looked better to leave a trash can's logo facing the morning sun. He'd taught all the younger garbage men to turn them that way, so they all did it. That was all."

Xavier tried to put his ball down so he could take his shot, but Mr. Astor stepped in his way to get closer to me. "And the point of this story is...?"

I said, "Sometimes it seems like there are big, mysterious patterns in life, but it's actually just a load of garbage."

He stared at me. Again, this was taking longer than expected to sink in. Did he have some kind of iron-willed resistance to bullshit? This was it, I was saved or I was fucked.

+10 BS. 27 remaining.

-20 BS. 7 remaining.

The big man laughed and clapped me on the back so hard it knocked me forward. "That's funny! Okay, okay, I guess I'm overanalyzing things. Let's just play golf. Xavier! Why haven't you taken your shot yet?!"

I wasn't literally crapping my pants, but I was in my head. Where did that extra 10 BS come from? I couldn't check my burner phone right then, I had to just play golf and act like this was all no big deal.

As soon as we finished the course and got to the clubhouse, I went to the bathroom and checked the app.

There was a new profile for Mr. Aston, but it was exactly what you'd expect with a belief that I played golf in college and that the odd parts of my life story were just random chance. The thing that jumped out at me was this. Apparently there was now a tab for group profiles and a message explaining them.

Congratulations! One of your implanted beliefs has spread through more than 10% of a social group. You may now monitor its progress, as well as that of any ulterior ones, directly from the group’s dedicated page. As you increase your influence over it, more features and information may become available. Certain Store items may also only be used on groups.

Further beliefs you implement will only appear on the social group’s profile when they have also spread through at least 10% of its members. Before then, they will appear on the profiles of the specific people that have been affected by it. After the 10% mark has been cleared, the belief will only display on the group’s profile and the profile of the person initially convinced, to avoid everyone’s page becoming annoyingly long. Clicking on a partially spread belief from a group profile will display a list of all affected people.

Nicole Astor's Bride's Maids

Population: 4

Traits: Temporary grouping. All female, rich,

Beliefs:

• Will Taylor is faithfully in love with Nicole Astor.
• Source: Simone Ito

• Spread: 75%

• Everyone should be more sexually daring at social events. If they are single, they should indulge in meaningless flings. If they are with a partner, they should loosen up and push their sexual boundaries.
• Source: Simone Ito

• Spread: 50%

• Bride's maid should be especially sexually adventurous to encourage all the other guest by example.
• Source: Simone Ito
• Spread: 50%

I tapped "Spread" under the second belief. It had the names of all four of Nicole's friends and there was a check mark next to Ainsley's name. That wasn't too surprising, she was already the most sexually adventurous of the group, so she'd probably accept that belief easily. Well, the most adventurous one other than Opal, who was a proven slut. Why hadn't this spread to her yet? I also found that she was the only one who hadn't gotten the belief about me being faithful to Nicole.

Anyway, either Ainsley or Simone must have hooked up with someone during the shopping trip, and given Simone's path, it was probably Ainsley. That had really saved my ass. I wondered how much more BS these ladies could generate without me doing anything.

I put away my phone and left the bathroom. I practically ran into Xavier outside.

"Hey, I want to talk to you," said Xavier.

"Okay. About what?"

He looked around to make sure nobody was listening, then leaned in close to my face. "Do you know any hot, new crypto to invest in?"

God, I love rich idiots begging to give me their money.