Going Home

Another beach house excursion in Alabama. Another escape. This one was even better than the last one. I told him not to spend too much money. He said that he had a separate fund for our getaways. That made me smile as we sat on the deck watching the sunset. The sky was a tantalizing array of hues from orange to yellow.

We each had a glass of rum. We sipped until our problems were non-existent for that moment. The breeze was delicate. The sound of the ocean was peaceful and nearly lulled me to sleep. Yet I had arrived for other reasons and so did he.

He joined me on my lounger. My hand was on his chest. He flexed. “You have been hitting the gym.”

“You know how I do.”

I chuckled, “Yes. Glad to see you’re still into working out.”

He lifted my chin, and we sucked face. His finger slid into my bikini bottoms. I moaned softly, “Ummm, that’s nice.”

“Let’s go inside.”

****

Sometimes, we played rough. He was my first and taught me everything. He was the one that sent me into the heavens and left me babbling obscenities. I was stupid behind his dick. I still laugh at how I’d show up to his house after school to “study” and end up riding his cock for twenty to thirty minutes…each of us hoping his little brother wouldn’t barge in and find us "getting booty," as we called it in your youth.

I was bent over. I held my ankles. His fingers were dug into the meaty portions of my hips. I heard the loud plopping of our bodies as he beat it up. The moisture was on my inner thighs. “Sloppy wet as pussy. Ol’ Niagara Falls as pussy,” he joked.

Slowly, I felt him pull out. My pussy was still throbbing. I turned. We shared a kiss. He lifted me and I fed his rod into my pulsating center, and we hummed. I shook my head and smiled, “This dick.”

“You love it.”

“Um hmm.”

He laid me on the bed. I felt his tongue jutting in and out. I pushed his head and squirmed. He held me in place, “Move your hand, Jade. You know better.”

I did know better. He liked to eat until I gushed. I was trembling when he pushed that fatty back in and worked my middle until he exploded with a deep grunt. We panted. I watched him walk to the bathroom. His ass was nice. I smirked as I left the bed.

We washed up and laid down. The television was on but we talked. He showed me pictures of the family. Even said that his mother still asked about me and that contributed to his wife's disdain for me.

“I can’t help that I was the best thing you ever had and you messed up.”

He laughed, “Yeah, I messed up but look at us. We cool.”

“Yeah. This works. I like this mature and responsible version of you. Now…the question is…how long are we going to do this? You know your wife will eventually find out. Or at least have questions.”

He sighed, “God, don’t say that.”

I shrugged, “I’m just awakening you to the reality.”

“Let’s not worry about that for now. Okay.”

I nodded, “Okay.”

****

I was set to drive back to Pensacola after a weekend of pleasure with Antione, yet, I got a call from my mother asking me when I planned to visit. With no immediate plans, I figured why not go to New Orleans for a few days. I filled my tank, got on I-10 West, and headed to my hometown.

****

“Let’s go get’em,” I sang repeatedly as I danced in my car. There was something about going home. The music, Second line. The live instruments. The call-and-response lyrics in the songs. It was lively and I was ready to party. I wanted to get out and dance with a handkerchief or a decorative umbrella.

The city of New Orleans lived inside of me. I came from a long line of Creoles with a mix of Native, African, and even Spanish Blood. My family looked like a wonderful portrait of hues from ivory to deep mahogany.

A painting over the mantlepiece in my grandmother’s house was of her grandmother who was of Siera Leone and Spanish blood. She married my great-grandfather who was a prominent sugar-cane plantation owner on the bayou in an area near Gonzalez, Louisiana. We still have land out there, but the kids can’t seem to make up their minds on what to do with it.

My mother was content with her three-story house in the Garden District. It provided her with easy access to the St. Charles Streetcar, an easy stroll to Audubon Park, and wasn’t far from Carrollton where she worked.

I arrived. I saw a van parked on the side of the road. I knew who it was. I sighed…why the hell every time I was in town did, she decide to show up at my mother’s house? Some people live to irk other’s nerves. Mainly because they were miserable in their existence and wanted you to keep them company.

With that in mind, I sat in the car and made a reservation at a hotel. I knew my mother would be upset but there was no way I was staying in that house with all those folks who didn't know how to go home.

I exited my car wearing baggy pants as if I were a hip-hop dancer. Honestly, that was my style. I often wore baggy bottoms and cut-off tops. The bling on my shades glistened. I opened the metal gate and saw everyone sitting on the porch.

My mother smiled, “Look at my baaaaaby.” She met me at the bottom of the steps. We hugged tightly.

“Look at you. You look like a star. I heard you were viral or something like that on Facebook or one of them things. I don’t get on those socials like that. Folks are crazy on there.”

“Just some photos. I have a show coming up soon in Europe.” When I looked up, I saw her beedi eyes. She took up most of the chair and some of her body even spilled out of it, “Hey how y’all," I said politely.

“We all right. But I guess we ain’t as good as you,” she replied.

I didn’t respond. I looked at her daughters who were sitting holding their newest babies as the others ran about the yard yelling and laughing.

I reached down for the baby and held him in my arms, "Hey there my little stanka.”

“You can take him if ya want. He cries too much. Spoiled.”

My mom chuckled, “Ya brother's wife just found out she was pregnant. You’re going to be an aunt soon.”

“Oh, nice. I should go see him before I leave.”

My brother lived in Baton Rouge. Close enough to visit and yet far enough away so people couldn’t just pop up. And my brother was not one for impromptu visits. His Virgo energy would go from super chill to highly annoyed in a nanosecond.

“I cooked some red beans and rice with some cornbread. Go get a plate or can you eat that? I don’t want to mess up ya money. I know my baby out here becoming a big-time model.”

My aunt sucked her teeth, “I was just about to ask if she was pregnant.”

I made a face, “Pregnant?”

“I was looking at her stomach. Why it looked like that?”

“This is what is called abs. Muscles. They pop out when you work them. But I understand you never experienced that before.”

Her jaw hit the floor. My mother eyed me, “Jade Michelle Alexander.”

“I’m just saying. She always worried about somebody's stomach. I mean what is she having quintuplets.”

“You ain’t gotta be rude, oh high yella heifer.”

I rolled my eyes, handed the baby to my cousin, and went inside. She liked trying me. Sometimes I let it slide, but not that day.

I went into the kitchen to fix a plate of food. I was not about to leave New Orleans without having my mother’s cooking. I sat at the table. The taste was amazing. I was fasting in the morning so that 1:00 pm meal hit the spot.

My mom sighed and sat across from me, “You didn’t have to do all that,” she said but then smirked before looking over her shoulder.

“Freaking, couyon," I said in aggravation, which is a Cajun word for fool.

She cackled, “You know she has just been a little down since big Mike done left her that young girl down in Algiers. He stayed running ‘cross that river night after night until one day he ain’t never came back.”

“Um. Now who’s fault is that? Her ass is disgusting and I ain't even talking about her size. She a ol’ jealous B word.”

“Now Jade.”

She scolded me but she knew it was true. Colorism in the Black community is wild. No one has control over what color their skin is. But I tell you all that foolishness behind it was nothing but the epitome of all evil.

Men fetishized light-skinned women. Dark-skinned women are made to feel unworthy or less than others. Dark-skinned girls wanted to fight the light-skinned ones and light-skinned ones acting like they were the cream of the crop because of their proximity to whiteness. I had to deal with it my whole childhood and still deal with it as an adult.

My mother had married the darkest man she could find just so we could be born with a little color. Her skin was so light she could pass for White but refused, and if anyone called her White, she corrected them on the spot.

Now, my aunt had a different father. Her was an African American man and my aunt took every bit of his color. She was a pretty woman but she didn’t believe it. And if she didn’t believe it…no one could convince her of it. But hating on me and my momma wasn’t the way. And for a "light-skinned heifer" as she affectionately called me, I wasn’t prissy. I was a little sophistic-hood-rachet. Meaning I could code-switch with the best of them and then roll my neck like I was raised in the projects that no longer existed.

“Is she staying here?” I asked. I had never seen my childhood home in such disarray. My mother liked a neat tidy house.

“Yeah. They all moved in. Couldn't let her go on the street with all them babies."

“Um. You’re so nice, mama. And what daddy say?”

She kissed her teeth, “He stays on the water most of the time. He doesn’t care. I’m hoping she gets her place before he comes back in December. You're coming here for Christmas right?”

I nodded, “Of course. I’ll be here.”

My phone sounded. The picture of Grayson flashed. She scoffed, “Who is that lil white boy?”

“Mom, this is a whole man.”

“And what you and that man got going on?”

“I don’t know yet. We are dating. Ya know.”

“Here all this time I was thinking you were going to end up with a chocolate man like ya daddy. You barely have any color now. Kids with that man, baby gone be whiter than me.”

I chuckled, “Then I guess, he or she will just take after its grandmother.”

I scanned his text message. He said he was in Pensacola and wanted to see me. I told him that I was in New Orleans. He told me that he was on his way.

I won’t lie…I blushed. It was a giddy feeling. She shook her head, “You must like that young man. Look at your cheeks. Red as a fire engine.”

“I’m staying at a hotel in the quarters.”

She sucked her teeth, “I figured you would. I ain’t mad at you. It’s a lotta people in this house. If didn't think they'd tear my house up, I'd come with you.”

I stood. She stood. I hugged her before leaving.

****

It was a welcomed surprise. I picked him up at the airport. He wanted to spend some time with me before the shows in Europe. He said things would be insane and he would be in full creative mode and would most likely be a mess until it was over.

We stopped at a spot on Claiborne for some po-boys and Big Shot cold drinks. The music played. He enjoyed the sound. He wasn't a stranger to New Orleans. He had vacationed in the city with friends on a few occasions.

My mother texted me and asked if I wanted to go to the zoo on Thursday since she was off again. I asked if it was just us. She sent a bunch of laughing and crying emojis.

Grayson smiled, “Who’s that?”

“My mom. She wants to hang out on Thursday. Go to the zoo.”

“I like the zoo.”

I chuckled, “Are you trying to get invited.”

“I would not impose.”

I reached for his hand, “It’s not an imposition.”

After we finished our meal, Grayson gathered the trash into a plastic bag. He stood and went to the bin. Suddenly, I heard, “Daughter-in-law!”

Her voice was unmistakable. It was deep and raspy. She hurried toward me. “Hey. Oh my goodness.”

She looked me over, “I just knew you and my son were going to get married. I kept telling him to get right or he was going to lose you. And what that fool do?”

I laughed, “It’s all right. He’s married now. So.”

She rolled her eyes. “He should have married you. I wanted them pretty lil grandbabies.”

“I’m sure your grandbaby is gorgeous.”

She smiled, “oh she is too.”

Grayson walked up and placed his hand on my waist, “Are we ready sweetheart?”

“Grayson this is Mrs. Moliere.”

“Mrs. Moliere. Jade, I'm her mother-in-law. Well, I should be. She and my son were a thing. Baaaabaaay. They were joined at the hip. This was the one.”

He smiled uncomfortably, “It’s nice to meet you.”

They shook hands, “Um, you have soft hands, What do you do for a living?”

“I’m a designer.”

“Ooohhhh,” she replied with a slow triple-head nod, “so you like…you know…”

His eyebrow lifted.

“Ain’t nothing wrong with it. I let people live and love who they want.”

He laughed, “Um no. Jade and I are…you know. We are good on all accounts.”

Her jaw dropped, “Well. Excuse me. My bad.”

“It’s quite all right. Jade, darling. I'll wait for you in the car.”

My head tilted. She sighed, “Baby, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I thought those designer guys were all you know. So, you and him are like together, together?”

I chuckled, “Yes.”

“And what’s that like?” she asked as she leaned in real close.

“Great. We have a wonderful time.”

“Um, well, my baby, I won’t hold you. It was good seeing you."

I hugged her, "Good seeing you too."

****

I found Grayson sitting in the car. He wasn’t mad but he looked annoyed. “Are you good?” I asked as I sat and started the vehicle.

“She was quite something.”

“People are like that around here. Tend to just say stuff. Don’t let it bother you.”

“I won’t. If she understands that you are no longer her son’s woman.”

“She gets it. He’s married.”

“Really.”

“Yeah.”

I leaned over. He pressed his lips to mine. He smiled.

****

It started in the shower. The water created steam. The glass walls were fogged. My hand left a print as I braced against it. The second time in one day I was having my back blown out in the best way.

He meant business too. He wanted me to feel every thick throbbing inch. He pulled me up and pulled my hair to the left. I grinned, “Um.”

He smiled, “You like it a little rough.”

His hands cupped my tits and he drilled hard and deep. I was trembling. He paused to let me catch my breath. He ordered me to get on my knees. My mouth opened and he slid in about halfway. I did the rest of the work.

He looked down into my eyes and caressed the sides of my face, “Fuck, my darling, yes.”

“Guk, guk, guk.” Echoed

“I love your mouth. Your face. Your hair.”

He pulled out with a plop. I stood and we shared a sweet kiss. The water stopped. We stepped out of the shower. Our bodies dripped. He placed me on the counter and fed his cock into my center. He watched my tits wobble. I looked at his rod covered in nectar going back and forth.

For a moment, he paused. His hand cupped the back of my head and we kissed again. Our foreheads touched, “You’re going to fall in love Jade. Watch.”

I smirked, “You’re going to fall in love.”

He smiled, “I think you’re right.”

He lifted me and walked me to bed. My hair left a wet spot on the pillow. I moaned loudly as he moved inside me. Slow, long, deliberate strokes. These were baby-making strokes. And if I wasn’t on birth control, he would have planted a baby inside of me.

“Grayson, fuck, babe.”

“Yes, babe.”

“I’m cummiiiiiii”

“I know. Me too, arggghh!”

*****

Lying next to Grayson in the quiet of the night almost felt too right. My mind started feeding me dirty little ideas, What if he’s just pretending? He can’t be this good. Any day now, he’s going to act ugly and it’ll be over. Just guard your heart. Catch flight…not feeling…remember.

His hand caressed my belly, “I like you a lot.”

I smiled, “I know.”

“I like you too. I just want us to go slow. Okay.”

“We can go as slow as you need for a bit.”

I chuckled. I knew what that meant.

******

In the morning, Grayson went out for a jog, I had the displeasure of putting Antione in his place. He had the unmitigated gall to question who I was dating as if he had a say. “I can’t believe you, Jay, seriously. A White dude?”

“You had no issues with me being with Danny.”

“Danny is like Puerto Rican or Dominican or something like that. They almost like us. But him? Come on Jaaaaayyy. You gotta end that.”

“Stop playing with me, Antione.”

“If you don’t leave dude…we can’t do us no more.”

I was silent.

He whispered, “I gotta go. You figure it out by July.”

The call ended. I sucked my teeth. When Grayson returned, I was dressed and ready to hang out.

*****

If you have time, a Streetcar ride is perfect. We sat next to each other holding hands. We would glance at each other and smile. An older woman sitting in the row of seats adjacent to us smiled, “You two remind me of my husband Charlie and I when we met ages ago. So young and in love.”

“Thank you,” I replied. There was no need to go into detail about what Grayson and I were.

“How long have you been married?” Grayson asked.

“We were married fifty years. Charlie died two years ago.”

She saw the sad expressions on our faces.

“He lived a good life and we had so much fun…got seven kids to prove it. If I may give you a bit of advice.”

We waited eagerly.

“Love each other like each day will be your last. Tomorrow is not promised.”

He held my hand a little tighter and even kissed my mouth in front of all those people. And I guess the paparazzi were in my hometown too. The next day, there were pictures of us online, “It’s confirmed, up and coming London designer and model Jade Alexander is a thing.”