Goblins

"Really? A goblin?" I said from the dirt, looking up at the approaching Exciser. "I'm not much into little green chicks; I'd much rather have you."

"Do you ever hold your tongue?" She asked, a bloody sword on her shoulder and a hogtied goblin hanging from her left. In truth, I wasn't that picky, even when I was apparently sex-starved; what man is picky at eighteen, after-all.

"Yep." I said, ignoring my growing erection. "But I've recently realized this is a lot more fun than holding it. Bit of a freedom to facing your ****, you know?

She sighed and dropped the tied goblin next to me, a tiny creature with a modest bust and hilariously disproportionate hips and thighs. She settled next to our campfire and started to clean off her silver sword. Then she paused, and looked at me. "Well, go on."

"Right in front of you? Really?" I waggled my eyebrows. "Aren't you a saucy girl, I'm getting repressed church vibes. Got daddy issues too?"

"Demon-blooded tend to be able to regenerate." She noted with a slight glare. "Shall I cut out your tongue?"

"I'd really rather you didn't." I said. "Still, right in front of you?"

"I have no interest in chasing after a runaway." She said, sighting down the length of her blade. I gave a little shrug to my shoulders, feeling as though I'd at least tried to be courteous to my nominal savior. Also, admittedly, the idea of her watching turned me on a little; that wasn't saying much, however. Most thing's do.

I drew in all the strength I could muster and pushed myself to my knees. I looked at the goblin, at the monster's fearful eyes and her tiny musculature. "Well, I don't think my night could get any weirder. May as well enjoy it."

"If you get any funny ideas, or point that thing at me, I will kill you."

"Yeah, yeah." I muttered, realizing it was possible to get used to **** threats. "Time to eat, I suppose."