Go to the show in secret (solo)

You find yourself sitting near the back row of the balcony nursing a cocktail and waiting for the show to begin. The venue, one you’ve never been to before in the city, is set up in the classic cabaret style. There is the floor in front of the stage where a couple dozen tables are located. Wrapped around it like a horseshoe is another level up five steps, with more tables lining the railing and booths against the walls. This is also where you find the bar, which was pretty busy when you got your drink. Finally there is a balcony level, where you’ve decided to hide out.

Is hide the right word? It’s not like you don’t want Liz to know you’re here. You justify it by saying that if she caught sight of you from the stage then she might be surprised and that would throw off her performance. Sounds perfectly reasonable in your own head. The rest of the seats around you start to fill up. Looks like they may have sold out.

There is music being pumped in through the sound system, quieter than you would expect at the club, and plenty of people are mingling and having conversations. There are slightly more women than men in attendance, and you look a little out of place sitting by yourself. It seems this is much more of a social affair. You’re anxious to get things started and fighting the urge to just look at your phone.

Soon enough, though, the music changes to a brassy jazz number and the host of the show comes out. The crowd immediately directs all of their attention to her, with her sequinned gown, striking make-up, and two foot tall beehive. You’re pretty sure it’s a wig but it’s still impressive. She warms up the audience and goes over the basic ground rules and etiquette, encouraging people to be vocal but not vulgar, thanking the bar staff, and making jokes about how hard she likes to get pounded in the ass.

You chuckle along with everyone else. It’s a good vibe, you think.

The acts start to come out one by one. Most are solos but there are some duo acts. There are even men appearing on stage. Who knew that boylesque was a thing?

You’re having a pretty good time. There’s definitely a lot of talent on display. As well as a lot of fine looking bodies. And, to be honest, some bodies that aren’t your thing. But you still cheer and whistle and encourage since one thing you’ve learned is that body-acceptance is part oft his troupe’s philosophy.

Near the end of the first half Liz, or rather, Gabby LaRasa takes the stage. You start to get some butterflies in your stomach, nervous even though you’re sat alone in the dark and no one is watching you. Liz’s song starts{if help = false}, something that you don’t recognize with a 50s or 60s style where a woman sings about how much she’s pining for her good man,{endif} and her routine begins. {if help = false}She’s dressed up as a very stereotypical 1950s housewife. Her ash blond hairs is in curls, she has on a blue dress with a wide white belt, matching white gloves, and high heels. The gimmick she has for the act is to walk around the stage and mime a household chore, like vacuuming or loading the dishwasher. At each stage she either loses some piece of her costume or finds another reason to flash the audience a bit of skin.{endif}

It becomes clear pretty quickly that she is not at the same level as the other performers. It isn’t that her act is bad, it still gets a good reception and you aren’t the only person making a lot of ruckus. It’s more that you can see the hesitation in her movements and the stress of concentration on her face. She has a couple of flubs and her timing is off, the kind of stuff you would expect with a bit of stage fright. And when she ends she doesn’t hold her final pose long enough, starting to move away while the spotlight is still on her. You still clap very hard regardless, though the rest of the crowd is less enthusiastic.

{if benefits = false}Then again you’ve always wanted to get a good look at her naked body. So seeing Liz standing there with nothing on but a tiny white thong and blue heart-shaped pasties on her nipples is a personal dream come true.{else}She sure looks good standing there with nothing on but a tiny white thong and blue heart-shaped pasties on her nipples, though.{endif}

After Liz leaves the stage there is one more act before the intermission. During the break you consider just going home. Technically you got what you came to see.