Giving 'Cum Drunk' A Whole New Meaning

Author's Note: Here we are, half way through what I've got planned for march. Time to get this plot going! Want a say in what happens next? Come on by my discord and let me know!

Amanda took the remote. It felt heavy in her hand. Weighty. Like destiny. Watching Aaron had been fun, but the more she watched him go the more she realized just how badly she needed another turn herself. So many possibilities. So many little quick swaps. Most of the time she would have barely even thought about it.

When the remote is in someone else’s hands? That’s when you start to feel the separation. She felt like a driver trapped in the passenger seat, her hand kept reaching for a wheel that wasn’t there.

Now though? She clenched a hand around the slim plastic case - the brakes were off!

Where to begin?

She barely even gave it a thought as she fired off a burst of quick small swaps as a warm up.

Zap, zap, zap!

With a wave of Amanda's arm, a girl who had been sneering at her blind date’s hairy knuckles and great big bushy beard found herself with every inch of his body hair, not that he seemed to mind. She swapped a tail from the golden retriever from a dog-food commercial onto the butt of the bartender, which started waggling as she poured the next customer a drink. She swapped her bra’s penis size with something a little more manageable. She wasn’t wearing it anymore, but nothing was worse than a bra that kept poking you in the back.

Oh yeah, that was more like it! She put a hand on her shoulder like she was limbering up. It was good to be back behind the wheel.

“Wait,” Aaron squinted. “Are you fucking with me about that tail thing?”

“I like dogs.” She shrugged mischievously. “Besides - “ she watched it sway back and forth - “If it looks good on her, I might go for one myself.”

He laughed, but she wasn’t kidding.

“Okay. You ready for this?” She waggled her eyebrows. “My patented three step guide to getting this whole bar in line with this nudity. Let’s start with phase one -”

She pointed the remote at the bar, then over at one of the patron’s balls.

Zap.

Aaron felt a shift within him, a sudden dizziness, a sudden surge of brain chemistry. He blinked, trying to make sense of it, but the attempt just ran into a fog. He was hot and he was squirmy and he was having a hard time focusing.

“What was that?”

“That, dear boy,” Amanda let out a laugh that was positively giggly. “Is what happens when you swap the effects of arousal on the body with the effects of **** on the body.”

“Wait, wait, wait…” he looked at his hand, opening and closing it. “You mean to say -”

“The hornier everybody gets, the more wasted they become! Oh my god,” she took a big breath, her face flush. “Isn’t that cool? I can’t wait to like, like, fuck you later like this. I wonder if we’ll pass out when we cum. I wonder if morning wood count as hair of the dog! So many possibilities.”

Aaron looked around the bar. It was the strangest thing. Those people here on dates were still giving all the signals they’d been into their cups, but besides that, the whole crowd seemed to have sobered up

No, not sobered. He shifted his thinking. They’d become drunk on a very different sort of passion. Cocks strained, breath was short, and over at the bar pussies leaked and cocks dribbled. As Aaron watched, a petite girl finish off a glass only to have her body shake, her balls tightened and a rope of pearly precum dribble down her thick shaft. She was trembling right on the edge.

“Alright, I think that’s enough from you.” The bartender pulled her bottle away. “Come on, I’m cutting you off.”

“What,” she whimpered. “No! Please.” Her voice was a husky carnal cry, caught just as much in the pleasure she was feeling as her body. “I’m so close!”

“I don’t want to here it. No more. Last thing I want is to have you explode all over my bar.”

“It’s okay, ma’am, I got her,” said one of her friends. A man who’s red face matched the fire red hair of his drooling cunt. “God, Amy, you’re such a lightweight.”

“I am not!” she whimpered again.

“Come on, girl,” he hoisted her up around his shoulder. She could walk but it looked like one stiff breeze was going to set her off. “Let’s get you home.”

“Wow, yeah” Aaron rubbed at the bridge of his nose. “I confess, I don’t think I’d have gone for anything quite so…” the word ‘grand’ was outside his current capacity, but she knew exactly what he meant.

“Thank you, thank you.” Amanda took a little bow. “I’m just glad everybody’s already naked - this would have been a real pain the butt to try to figure out otherwise.”

Aaron nodded. It had become very hard to think indeed. He was glad there weren’t too many layers to this.

“Wait.” He blinked. “Three part plan?”

“Part two!” She swung the remote back to the bar. She wasn’t even looking, she was too busy grinning at him cutely.

Zap zap zap.

This time it was the smell that hit Aaron first. It had been the same headiness you always get in bars - spilled beer and people, soaked into various surfaces. Now though it was different. It wasn’t the smell of beer at all.

It was the smell of sex.

No, it was more than just sex. Hot. Potent.

He wrinkled his nose.

Cum?

Out across the bar the bartender was now jacking off the brass cock that had replaced the keg tap. Nearby, the other half of that particular swap was obvious as the portly guy drinking alone in the corner now had probably the most unusual penis Aaron had ever seen.

“What did you -?”

But the words faded as the bartender’s efforts were rewarded with a spray of liquid that she tried to maneuver into the fresh glass. Like some kind of hentai money-shot, thick ropes of gooey pearly white blasted out one after another, filling the glass in spurts until the bartender coaxed out the last few dribbling drops.

She set it down at the bar, and the girl who had ordered took it, gave a cheer, and started chuging. He could see her nipples hardening as he went, he could see her pussy moistening. She was catching up with all of her horny friends nearby.

She smacked her lips as she finished the glass in one go, slamming it back down onto the table to the cheer of her fellows.

“Ever heard the expression 'cum-drunk?'” Amanda gave a drunken waggle of her brow.

Aaron looked down at his own cup. What remained in the lower half was undeniably jizz.

Thoughts swirled in Aarons brain, but it was hard to lock down on the good ones.

“So now everybody drinks cum, but instead of getting drunk they get horny?”

“Yes.”

“Wait - the cum is alcoholic?”

“The cum is alcoholic!” She doubled over laughing.

“Okay, impressive,” he smarmed. “But I think…” He had a hard time not slurring the words. “I think you may have screwed up just a little.”

“What?” She popped her head up, inspecting her handiwork for something she’d missed. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, we were both super horny and now we’re both super drunk!” He had intended that to be a cheeky whisper, but it was not how it came out.

“Oh? Is that a flaw in my plan?” she purred slovenly. “Or a benefit?”

“Wait,” he looked back down at the mug. “Wouldn’t the other side of this mean that guys now cum beer?”

“Oh my god” She fell over laughing again. “I hadn’t even considered that! Yeah! Oh, that gives me an idea - uh - where’s that guy with the pregnant tits?”

She swung the remote to the table where the office party was, sticking out her tongue in great focus.

Zap, zap!

The wet patches around his naked pregnant areolas were now a rosey pink color, and he seemed to have corks instead of nipples. Over by the bar, all the bottles of liquor were now full of milk and seemed to have little nipples for caps.

Aaron blinked. Well it was on theme at least.

Fuck, he shouldn’t be finding this so hot. Or - ah - was that the beer talking? How much had he had? He put hand on his stomach. Did he now have cum sloshing away in there from earlier?

“Aw, not to your taste?” she teased. “I can make you find it delicious if you want? Swap your tastebuds with a slutty girl’s?”

“Uh.” he blushed. “Maybe later?”

“Suit yourself! We’ve got a lot of drinking ahead of ourselves, if I'm going to be fucking you senseless later.”

He shiverd. The idea made him so dizzy.

“Okay, okay, and for the final step!” She looked over at the entrance. “Watch as I - as I -”

She froze dead in her tracks.

Someone had just walked in. A couple. They were also stripping at the coatcheck, they were also obviously a little tipsy.

“What? What is it?”

All the joy seemed to fall from her face.

“Shit!” She blushed, pulling back to look at him.

“What?”

“It’s my ex!”