Girlfriend

"So, you have a girlfriend? I bet a total stud like you must have bitches lined up around the block," he says. You instinctually stiffen up and he notices. "But if not, that's totally cool and fine or whatever."

"Do you have any girlfriend?" You ask and suddenly he turns rigid.

"Yes? No? It's complicated." He says.

"Complicated how?" You reply.

"Well, I've been dating her for some time now, but like... I don't know man. I just don't feel like she's the one for me."

"And you know what that will feel like?"

"Yeah, I mean... I think I do..." He plays with a ring on his thumb, "I just don't get girls."

"Well to be fair, you've always been awful at dating women, ever since high school."

"What? You've got to be kidding me. I was a total pimp in high school."

"Yeah, but you were awful at the little things. You would always break up with them via text or in the middle of a final exam."

"That was one time," he says getting defensive, but still smiling.

"Oh yeah, then what about Hazel Witkens. If memory serves me right, you broke up with her via letter that you sent to her while she was at summer camp? Oh, and there was Samantha Carter who you broke up within your senior quote. And then there was..."

"Fine. I get it. I was awful at dating in high school."

"Well, I wouldn't say awful. I mean girls were dating you throughout high school for a reason," you say and then you proceed to mime a blowjob.

"You dirty fuck," Tony laughs, giving you a punch on the shoulder.