Ghazgul's Bitches (The "Heroes" Are Not Quite What The King Expected...)

"Very well, I will see them," the king said in a voice halfway between sigh and snarl.

:Poor man, this must be exhausting! Better not burden him with the details, he'll see soon enough...: the maid (one of the brightest members of a rather stupid bunch,) thought, and began to tidy away the remains of the furniture.

Forcing himself into the countenance of a wise and kindly king again, King Roger I of the house of Arabghym went back into the throne room and prepared for the opening ceremony of a new band of thrice damned 'Adventurers'...

Then the doors opened and his heart caught in his throat.

In the most high and squeeking voice he had ever heard that yet remained understandable, a Goblin dressed in a heralds tabard walked through the barely cracked doors and proclaimed: "Your majestic rulership, it is my honor and privilege to introduce unto you the leader of the Geoffs, his mightyness and glorious lordship: slayer of the Baphomadon, breaker of the Black Fleet of Narjudes, Scourge of the Iron Legions, destroyer of the Hive of Hadies, and victor over the Arch Arsonists: The mighty and powerful Ghazgul Magnum Uruhk Throckley and his hand picked henchwomen, Gugraka, Blagia, Chadian, and Shlegi!" At which point the doors were flung wide...

In walked the biggest, most heavily armored, heavily muscled, and heavily festooned with weaponry Orc the king had ever seen. The brute stood eight feet tall if he was an inch. His armor was made from the hide of some bizarre dragon, its scales not any one color but rather striped like a tiger between green and black, and sewn tightly such that his bulging muscles made clear lumps in its surface... His helm bore a striking resemblance to a pig as it would have been designed were it an iron golem, except that two mighty curved horns jutted from just above the jawline, horns that were stained with the remains of blood repeatedly but inexpertly washed away. At his waist he carried a brace of the newfangled weapons of the Jolhine Empire, the so called "Pistols". On his back he carried four weapons, a great axe, a claymore, a "rifle", and a "shotgun". His very presence seemed engineered to spook King Roger, but the monarch was unafraid.

Two female orcs likewise overburdened with tools of mayhem followed. They stood far shorter than their leader, barely six feet, but that still meant they towered over the average Orc by a head and a half... One wore lighter armor than the others, nothing but flexible leather, but the second was attired in the same manner as the leader of the party, save the helm. Both carried the brace of pistols but other than that their weapons were dissimilar: one had scimitars, daggers, and throwing knives: the other a battle-axe, long-sword, and rifle. They both were pigish in appearance, save the deep green of thier skin and the bright purple of thier eyes. Yet, they carried themselves like warriors, and surveyed the assembled worthies of this minor meeting of the Kings Court as though their only significance was an almost insignificant potential threat.

Next came a troll-woman who's hands crackled with dark lighting. She alone matched the party leader in height, and was protected by robes sewn with arcane symbols and glowing gems. Her only weapon was a rune inscribed silver staff with an enormous emerald at its top, but the King knew well that he could not discount the danger such a weapon posed.

Last came a female ogre with dwarfism, dressed in the robes of a Cleric of the goddess of magic, Shania. The white and red robes were utterly pristine, clearly either enchanted to repair and clean themselves or a special outfit she wore only for court occasions. Her arms were as outlandish as the others, in addition to the traditional staff of office of her order, she bore a crossbow which glowed green and a pair of the bladed gauntlets known as "Tiger Claws". She stood approximately seven feet tall, perhaps a few inches more, and her hair was a rich auburn waterfall flowing across her frame down to her knees, where all the other women's dark hair was cut mannishly short.