Getting seen baby

I descended down the stairs slowly. Not only because my previous experiences with heels are Easter church and nil, but also because I was imagining myself at the party. I was pretending to be protagonist in the brides new clothes story my mother had so ingeniously concocted and imagining all the eyes in the building were on me. I raised one hand in a proper queens wave (never above the tiara darling) gently rotating my hand back and forth. I was getting wet just imagining my audience. I reached the bottom floor and got serious. I made a track around the living room coffee table and its hard wood, into the connected kitchen and its tile and began to walk. I began stumbling less after about 10 minutes of walking. I was now standing straight instead of looking like a new born giraffe and starting to feel good about myself when I heard a key in the lock of the front door. I had just come out of the kitchen and was standing next to the coffee table facing the door when it happened, and I just froze.

I wanted to bolt or cover, but I was too damn shocked. The door opened letting the descending sun from the west light me up like I was on fucking Broadway. Perhaps I should start singing New York, New York, and dance off the fucking stage. As I stood there wide eyed and frozen, three pairs of eyes fixed on me. Tom, Jeanne, and Tom's best friend Brian all looked in through the door at me. We stood locked in a Mexican stand off for what seemed like an eternity. Jeanne and Brian had eyes as large as anime characters. Tom was the only one to play it off.

“Nice costume sis.” He said nonchalant as a line cook flipping a burger patty. He grabbed the hands of Jeanne and Brian and had to drag them inside, seating them on the sofa opposite the coffee table from me. I was still frozen until, seemingly unaware of my nudity, Tom grabbed the tv remote, turned on the tv and said,

“Marie, you make a better door than you do a window.” This was our house talk for get the fuck out of the way of the tv. I had always used humor as a defense mechanism, this time was no different. I pointed upstairs and I said “I think I left the stove on.” and slunk away towards the stairs.

Tom focused on the tv but jeanne and Brian both moved their head in sync to follow my path to, and up the stairs. I would have loved to run but I would have just twisted my ankle in these damn heels and humiliated myself further, so I had painfully slow exit up the stairs feeling two people gaze at my ass as it climbed. I couldn't help myself from looking back every few seconds and seeing they had not blinked since coming into the house.

Half way up Jeanne shouted, “Oh, I get it! The emperors new clothes, but as a bride!”

I half turned a dramatic pose while doing a double finger gun pointing at Jeanne, (like I said, humor is my defense mechanism) and dramatically yet exasperatedly said, “Yep, thats the one.”

She beamed in her own intellect and Brian for the first time pulled his eyes away from my ass to look at Jeanna's face and said “Nice!”

They quickly high fived and turned to finish watch me ascend. I turned back around and continued my sojourn agonizingly slowly only to see my mother appear, blocking the top step and hysterical. She was crying harder than I have ever seen through her laughter.

“You knew Tom would get here and catch me didn't you!” I harshly whispered at her. She nodded when she realized speaking would be impossible.

“My brother just saw me naked, and his friend is still staring at my ass, move!” I said still whispering, but loudly. I sarcastically gestured back at Jeanne and Brian with an exaggerated “What can you do?” arm shrug, and a goofy smile knowing they'd see most of my front again, but my defense mechanism makes me animated when I'm embarrassed. I turned back to mom with a dead serious face.

“Let me back upstairs! My ass is more entertaining than the tv!” I whispered, spitting through my clenched teeth as I spoke the words.

“Oh hush, Tom has seen more snatch than George Clooney, he doesn't care about you being naked (this she said quietly enough that Jeanne wouldn't hear) and his friends seem to quite enjoy your costume! Don't you guys?! (This she said loud enough for god to hear)."

The answer was a two person round of applause, that became 3 when Jeanne punched Toms arm to make him join in.

My eyes were wide, and I was humiliated, but my mother retained her giggles and said, “Give your audience a bow!” My eyes bulged out of my sockets.

“You can be serious! Move!” I said trying to push her out of the way, only succeeding in losing traction and my shoes sliding on the carpeted stairs, leaving me face down and defeated on the last 4 steps to freedom. “Fine!” I growled. I stood up, faced the crowd, and wearing my biggest, most fake shit eating grin, I gave them an over exaggerated bow, flinging one arm wide like they do at Shakespeare. Brian and Tom both began loud tooth whistles as Jeanne kept clapping. I turned around and mom had moved. I finally ran for freedom to my room, slammed the door, and locked it.