Get to know the tourists

"My name is lil' misssh Bendover," the former Ms. Bender announces. "An' I'll be yer guy to the shpectacalar celeberaty mannsons that are in our fair shitty. This cutie here is Jake an he iss my conshulfant to make sure I'm doin' a good job an' that eeeverybuzy hash a wonerful time!"

Jake grins and waves to the trapped tourists. Then he opens up his bag and pulls out several fifths of whiskey.

"And though Ms. Bendover's marvelous tour is bound to keep everyone happy, there's no harm in lubricating the process!" he tells them. "Ms. Bendover swears by this stuff, and I guarantee you'll love it too!"

The frat boys in the back cheer. The waifish blonde beside them look exasperated. The brunette on the tour by herself looks skeptical but game for anything. The old couple look furious and are obviously straining against the bone's injunction against objection.

Jake decides to service the back of the bus first, since the boys, at least, seem so eager. Ms. Bendover drones drunkenly on about the history of the city and the reason it tends to attract C-list celebrities.

"Hi, I'm Jake and this is Jack!" he says, handing them three flasks of Jack Daniels.

"We don't need one for each of us!" the blonde girl says. "I don't even want any. And you shouldn't be having more than a shot or two, Brian! It's only 1 in the afternoon and we're meeting my mother at 5!"

"Now now, Miss...What was your name?" asks Jake, wishing for her to answer all his questions.

"Mary," she says.

"And Brian is your boyfriend?"

She nods.

"And this is?"

"Brad, his Frat brother," Mary says. "They're inseparable. It's kind of weird if you ask me."

"Well, maybe Brian's afraid you're too much woman for one man to handle," Jake speculates.

"WHAT!?!" Mary asks, and Brian looks upset for the first time since seeing Miss Bendover. Jake wishes for Brian and his friend to calm down and roll with it as he turns his full attention and the wishbone's power onto Mary.

"What I mean, Mary, is you're clearly one wild party girl," he tells her, letting the bone tell her on a much deeper level. "You make those girls gone wild videos seem tame. You're a hard drinking, hard fucking exhibitionist. Of course Brian's a little intimidated and want's his buddy for backup when you really get your slut on. Now take your complementary whiskey and don't hesitate to ask me for more when you finish that! I'm here to keep you happy!"

The blonde stares at him dumbfounded, then takes the bottle and a wicked little smile curls her lips.