Georgina- one way to ruin Sunday afternoon

“Dreadful that was a dreadful display of temper, girl” Georgina fumed to herself “I am so ashamed”. She walked across the hospital carpark to the light rail station to catch her streetcar home, head down, despondent and furious with herself. “Not only was it appalling manners but I’ve blown any chance I might have had with Jim”.

She sat down at the stop crowded with people who had been visiting patients. It seemed to Georgina that the people who had no cars usually visited friends or relatives in hospital on weekends. She thought back to when she had first met Jim when she was on night shift on Friday, how initially she had liked the soft accented voice of a man who didn’t complain though he was in pain and how impressed she was to see that he had been injured while trying to be a good Samaritan. "well i was being the same on Saturday afternoon...doing a second shift that day to help out Carole who wanted to go to her friend's wedding...of course the money was good too" she thought.

She looked up as a streetcar approached. “No its not mine” she thought as she saw its destination and glanced around to see a red haired woman walking towards a VW Bug in the car park. “That’s that friend of Jim’s I really should go and apologise”, she thought, starting to run over to the car but was unable to get there before Colleen had driven off.

“One day I’ll have a car, but its no use being envious. I just got to work at it. I should consider my blessings”, and as she did so often when depressed she thought over her hard won successes in life so far.

Raised with her younger brother, Martin, by her mother whose partner had abandoned her while Martin was still a baby, forcing her mother to work as a waitress in local cafes to support her children, Georgina had excelled at school even though so many looked on her and her brother as “trailer trash”. She had promised herself that her first pay would go to get a decent apartment and now she lived with her mother and brother in a pleasant townhouse –“rented yes” she thought “but one day we will own a house”.

Some more of her pay had gone into house furniture, most of it second hand but the good quality sort of old furniture that will in a few years be antiques. She enjoyed shopping for the furniture and decorations and her mind wandered to thinking how much she would have enjoyed shopping with Jim whom she felt sure from talking to him about Napier in New Zealand where he had taught would have liked the same style as she did. He had told her about the "wonderful art deco buildings which fill our city centre...if you can call a town of 60,000 a city. You see we had an eathquake that destroyed most of the old town in 1931 and so we have all these shops, banks...you name it all in art deco. And so lots of people have filled their offices with art deco furniture. It's great. I loved living there" and she thought it all "so inviting and rather peaceful...a nice place to live...away from the fuss of this sprawling overgrown place"

“No use now is it Georgina girl lets think positive” she mused as she thought of her mother’s determination that her children would not make the same mistakes as she had; of how her mother had pushed them hard, making them go to church and Sunday school so Georgina had grown up with a fierce will to succeed, a strong morality and a deep faith. Again her mind drifted briefly to Jim and how they had talked together on her night shift when he had woken so early on Saturday morning and couldn’t get back to sleep sharing their Christian beliefs with each other. “Gone all gone …just a few bad tempered words out of time, truly” she thought “ ‘the tongue is a little member and boasteth great things’”.

Her mother had shown her a warm protective love and Georgina in turn had protected her geeky little brother at school and was now helping him by paying part of his tuition fees at college. Once more her mind shifted to Jim, it was as if every thought ended that way; this time she thought of Saturday night when his mother and sister visited. “And he is so much a family man…he was so pleased to hear of his nephews’ successes …his face lit up when his half sister- she seemed nice too- spoke of her kids. He would make such a great father”

“Never mind” she continued as she boarded the streetcar for home “I will find a man to love, and to be the father of my children. Someone who will be there for me, who won’t run out on us…anyway what’s this crush on Jim Hawkins. I hardly know him. I only met him on Friday night its but Sunday afternoon. Well I guess I wasted my time coming to see him today. I will have to sleep before night shift again tonight…but I might just turn up at that young Christian leaders group Jim spoke about. I almost have to go past that address on my way back to the hospital and there’s a LRV Station at the end of that street”.

She picked up her book and read till her stop and walked the short distance to her home which as she expected was empty, her brother was cleaning pools, her mother working at the truckstop fast food outlet.

She showered and went to bed. She had trained herself to be able to sleep at any time but today she had trouble, thoughts of Jim holding her, kissing her, and “oh God its wrong but I want him in me…I want his shaft inside me, I want him on top of me, his lips kissing my breasts” her fingers groped down at her vulva rubbing it till she found release. “Forgive me God, I sinned again I don’t deserve all that you have given me and I sure don’t deserve Jim” she whispered as she at last fell asleep.