Genie

“You don’t look happy to see me.”

The old man smiled.

Mark glared. He stuffed his cum-slick cock into his urine-soaked jeans.

“Sid,” Mark began, “what are you doing here? And didn’t I just see you walking off with Allison?”

“Well, Mark, the story’s complicated. Which part do you want?”

“I don’t know. Maybe big picture? Though I guess with you, I should always start with safety.”

“Good thinking. Let’s start with safety. In about 3 minutes, Cindy is coming up with campus security. She just reported that you **** her into oral sex.”

Mark looked ill.

“Rescue wish, please.”

“Okay, let’s take a walk.”

As they walked to the door, Mark noticed that his splattered cum had disappeared from the wall and table. As they walked down the hall, he felt his pants get warm and dry.

“Sid, I thought you needed specific requests.”

“If I waited for you to ask the right questions, we’d never get anywhere. Okay, take these stairs down to the first floor. Let’s get out of here.”

Soon, Mark and Sid were walking down the quad.

“Ah, the beauty of sunshine,” Sid said, looking around. “What a great afternoon.”

“Okay, I’m out of the library,” Mark began, “but campus security is coming after me. How are my problems solved?”

“Quick but important question, Mark: does it matter if the woman feels traumatized after she has sex with you?”

“Of course,” Mark responded.

“Okay, and may I assume you’d prefer she look back upon the interaction with some positive enthusiasm?”

“Yes, of course.”

“Great. Consider a few of your problems solved. Cindy and Allison are listening to your heartfelt phone messages as we speak. They’ll get to listen to it a couple more times, and then they’ll somehow get deleted. I sent you a transcript so you’ll know what you said. Cindy won’t follow up on the charges, but, even better, she’ll see it as a misunderstanding, won’t feel violated, and will be more personally proactive in the future. In a decision she’ll immediately regret, she’ll permanently delete the incriminating photos of you but keep the hot ones of herself. Allison will have had her therapeutic sexual experience.

“Going forward, all of them will see you as vaguely radioactive; they’ll be friendly but distant.”

Mark nodded.

“I also got you a reservation to hear Jo play some music at a local coffee shop. You don’t get to screw her, but you can support her music.”

“Okay,” Mark said.

Marl relaxed and began to think of new ways these powers could be safely explored.

“I also apologized to Kiara.”

“Huh? I thought you were Kiara. Why does she need an apology?”

“Jeez, Mark. After all I just did, that’s your question? Seriously? To review, we offered you almost anything, and you could only think of doing basically the same thing with every attractive woman you came across? Which always ended up being illegal and immoral, and we then saved you from prison, and all you can ask is, “why do I have to say sorry?’ How old are you, four?”

“Uhm,” Mark responded. “I planned to get to the benevolent wisdom stuff tomorrow. I’m sure I was a little overeager. But, no disrespect, how come you’re ragging on me? I thought your gig was to do what I wanted.”

“Now we’re getting somewhere.” The old man looked around. “Mark, would you really like the scoop?”

“Uhm, sure.”

“Is that ‘uhm’ or ‘sure?’”