Gamble he won't be back

Weeks passed before I saw him again. At all… I hadn’t been to my friend’s house since that night. Couldn’t. I couldn’t imagine looking her in the eye, let alone sitting across the table from him, pretending I didn’t know what his cock looked like. Pretending I hadn’t watched him wring screams from random women. But I kept going back to the club. Thankful each time I didn’t see him.

I told myself every time I was with someone, that it was unlikely he’d randomly catch me in the act of something. I’d been here dozens of times by now, and he’d only shown up once. Yet, each time I saw a male in my peripherals, my heart skipped, and I was surprised to almost feel disappointed when it wasn’t him. It got to the point that he became my new taboo, flashing in my head no matter whose mouth was on me.

So when I came stumbling out of a room one night, still wiping my mouth with the back of my hand, and the couple I’d been with laughing as they followed me out, the last thing I expected was to run right into him at that moment. Literally. I rounded the corner and collided chest-first. I looked up and froze the second I saw him. His gaze dropped to my hand, glistening to the knuckles, then to the couple squeezing past us. Understanding lit his face in an instant. The shock turned my veins to ice, and my stomach bottomed out.

“Shit,” I whispered, spinning, **** to run.

But his hand shot out faster than I was, grabbing my wrist.

“Wait,” he called over the music.

I thought he’d be angry. I thought he’d look at me like I was disgusting, or like he could never trust me around his daughter again. Then, he laughed as if the whole situation was too absurd not to laugh at.

“Jesus,” he said, shaking his head. “Of all the places to run into you…”

My face burned hotter than it ever had in my life.

“Please,” I blurted. “Don’t- don’t tell her.”

“I’m not telling her a damn thing.” His grip finally started to loosen. He tilted his head, studying me. “I don’t exactly want her knowing I come here either. C’mon. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

He tugged me toward the back door. Outside, the air was cool, helping me snap back to my senses a little. A group of people were clustered around a barrel fire, passing around bottles of ****, and smoking what seemed to be pre-rolls.

He led me a little away from them for some privacy, and leaned against the wall.

“Relax,” he said. “There’s nothing to be embarrassed about.”

My laugh came out strangled. “Nothing? You just saw me-”

“I know what I saw.” His eyes sparkled in the firelight. “You think I’m shocked? This is a swingers’ club, not your church youth group. I’d be more surprised if you came out of that room knitting. I’m fuckin’ here to, so it’s not like I’m gonna judge you.”

Despite myself, another nervous laugh broke from my throat.

“There you go, let it out,” he said. “See? Nothing to be ashamed of. You’re a grown woman, and you can do what you want. I was just surprised. I guess it never hit me how much you kids grew up.”

The casual way he said it made me grateful that he wasn’t condemning me. And he was right, if he were to say anything to anyone, it’d be a mutual destruction for both of us.

We hung around talking, as he continued to calm me down. For the first time since spotting him here, I wasn’t thinking about fleeing. I was just… aware of how odd it felt. Then I became more aware of how broad his shoulders were up close. Of the start of wrinkles at the corner of his eyes when he smiled. And lastly, the fact that this man, who’d once been nothing more than an almost “Dad” figure most my life, had touched women in ways that left them screaming while I watched without him knowing.

When we finally went back inside, I stuck close to him unintentionally. I ended up not doing anything else that night, and left while he was still there. However, once I was in the safety of my own bed, I wondered if he made anyone else scream that night. I bit hard on my own pillow, burying my face when I came, afraid of waking up my own parents.

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