From a mild confrontation to Armageddon -- sorta

Brooke just stared at the handcuffs Montana had just tossed on the dining table and said, "You gotta be kidding me."

"Oh, shut up with the witty dialogue already and just put them on, Brooke," said Montana, still aiming her gun at Brooke.

"So I'm still Brooke after all this time?" asked Brooke. "Not Major Hottie?"

"Geez, you don't pick up on hints all that well, do you, Private Benjamin?" said Montana. "The Major Hottie thing was all part of a plan to distract you from my real scheme."

"Your real scheme?" asked Brooke. "So does Richard over there know about your 'real scheme'? The one where you pretend to be in love with me just to get me out here in the wilderness? Or is your love for Richard the real scheme?"

"Do you really have to ask, Brooke?" asked Montana.

"No, but I suspect Richard might," said Brooke. "And I think he might even get a little jealous when he finds out what you've been doing with me. And we both know the type of bad things men do when they get jealous."

"Oh, I can handle Richard," said Montana. "Now put on those handcuffs right now -- or I'll be placing them on your dead body."

"Why the rush?" asked Brooke. "Afraid you won't be able to explain all this to Sharona and Rio?"

"I'm warning you, Major Hottie," said Montana.

"And there it is," said Brooke, lashing out with the silver dinner tray and knocking the gun out of Montana's hand. But not before it fired first.

Just then Margaret burst in with her gun. "What the heck is going on in here?"

And then Nurse Rita burst in with her hypodermic needle and a small pistol of her own. "What the hell is going on in here?"

And then Mr. Bo Jingles burst in and looked at all the clothed women -- plus a naked Brooke -- and just smiled.

And then Richard Ramirez woke up.

At which point Brooke hurriedly reached for Montana's gun only to find herself in a **** hold.

"Oh, no, you don't, Major Hottie," said Montana as she wrapped her arm around Brooke's neck. "You're not getting out of this that easily."