Friendship (Chloe PoV)

The apartment was silent as I crept through the front door. The tension in my shoulders relaxed as I found myself alone. Closing the door, I wasted no time heading to my bedroom. Door shut behind me, I slid both deadbolts into place. I checked them, again to make sure they were secure before allowing myself to feel some sense of security—even if it was ultimately a lie.

I collapsed back on my bed grinning like an idiot. Today had been a good day. Surprisingly, most days were. Between Jake and Alexis, my days were never boring. As much as I enjoyed spending time with Jake, Alexis and I… There was something to be said by emotional connections. She seemed to recharge me in new and refreshing ways. I envied the girl. She was so open and upfront about things. Every moment with her was a wild ride. I couldn’t wait to meet her sister. Saturday was our planned movie night, and it was just another thing to look forward to.

The sound of my phone ringing surprised me. Another change in my life. The only texts I got were from Jake. Now, my phone was constantly blowing up as Alexis sent me some random text or image that made her laugh.

Seeing the call was from Alexis put a smile on my face as I answered. The pretty redhead popped up on my screen, giving me a wave. “Chloe! Where are you? I popped by Jake's place and it was super boring without you.”

“My apartment.”

She frowned. “Running away I see.”

I made a show of rolling my eyes. Apparently, I had a knack for fighting games and Alexis was surprisingly competitive. Ever since I started whooping her ass, she’s been clamoring for rematches. Flopping down on my bed, I put a pillow under my chest to prop me up as I held the phone in front of me.

“Just letting you get some more training in. You’ll need it.”

“Ha-ha. Big words from a small lady. Besides, is it really training when Jake is your opponent? He is so bad!”

I giggled and our conversation devolved into random things. She complained about some paper she was struggling with and vented her frustrations on how boring one of her professors was. I nodded, knowing full well how a dry lecture felt. Mine were shy of fifty minutes at worse though. Couldn’t imagine listening in on a two-plus hour one.

“Ah!” I said remembering something she’d mentioned last week when we had our coffee date. “How’s the boyfriend?”

Alexis’ head tilted in the cutest way. “Boyfriend?” The confusion in her voice made my stomach twist. Had I said something wrong?

“Y-yeah. You mentioned there was a guy you were seeing…”

She thought for a moment before her eyes widened. “Oh. Oh. Y-yeah. Him. Uh. Didn’t work out.”

My stomach dropped. “So sorry! Didn’t mean to—”

She brushed it off. “Don’t worry about it. These things happen.”

Shit. Now things were awkward. I felt like I ruined the mood, because I absolutely had. Damn. Things were going so well too.

But while we were here, there was something that ate at me. A part of me was afraid to know the answer, but it wasn’t something I could ignore. I’d seen the way she looked at Jake. Platonic relationship or not, I knew there were some very real feelings there. Feelings that weren’t necessarily appropriate for friendship.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Sure.”

My heart was racing and I almost chickened out. I needed to know though. “Why did you and Jake never go out?” I asked softly. All I could think about was the chemistry there. Jake was as indifferent as ever, but I could still see he cared about her by the little things. The same little things he showed me.

There was a moment of silence as Alexis stared at me through the phone. “Sorry. You don’t have to answer. Stupid question.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” she said with a small smile. “Hang out with me long enough… you’d find out eventually. Now is as good a time as any.” She took a deep breath and I saw how nervous she was despite putting on a brave face. I felt bad putting her on the spot like this. “Short version of a much longer story? I have commitment issues and Jake was smart enough to see that and stay away.”

“Long version?” I whispered giving her my complete attention.

She glanced away from the screen. When she looked back, some of the fear was gone as she gave her head a firm rub, rustling her hair in the process. “Ah, fuck it. You deserve to know. Truth be told? I’m a massive slut. I have one hell of a body count and have done a lot of shit with a lot of people. You’ve met me during a sort of… uh… dry spell, but usually Jake would come home and have to listen to me play around with my latest conquest. Oh how the tides have turned,” she said with a dry chuckle. “Anyway, Jake doesn’t want any part of my lifestyle. I don’t blame him and certainly don’t hold it against him. It’s why you don’t need to worry about Jake and I. Yeah, I like him. I like him a lot and would date him in a heartbeat. But I could never seduce him away from you, even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. My lifestyle and his… we just don’t match.” There was a sadness behind her smile. “I have nothing to offer him that he wants.”

“You know that’s not true.” No idea why I said that. Hearing her put herself down like that upset me. Probably because a part of her story resonated with me.

Alexis grinned, her confidence back as she closed the window looking into a far more **** girl. “That’s kind of you, but seeing how Jake acts around you? He’s with the person he needs. Trust me. I’ve known him for over two years now. Whatever you’re doing… keep doing it.”

I tried to fight back the tears, but I couldn’t stop them. Feeling their heat roll down my cheeks, I started talking. There was no thought behind my words. No goal in mind. I just talked and talked. Everything I had bottled up inside me rushed out in a vomit of words. Everything I had never known I needed to say. No idea what came over me or why I suddenly needed to say this right now, but there was no stopping it once it started.

Alexis never once looked away. I knew I wouldn’t have had the courage to say any of this if she had been right there in front of me, but I needed this. I needed it more than I ever understood. Jake… Jake was a wonderful man. He saw me in a way no one in the world ever could, but I knew he could never understand something like this. I needed to share with someone who understood the raw emotions I felt. Who could truly understand and feel the weight of them.

I hated that I was dumping all this on poor Alexis. She had her own problems to deal with. I barely knew her and yet…

At the end, my throat was raw and my eyes puffy and sore. I probably looked a mess as I tried to wipe the snot and tears from my face. But for the first time in my life, I felt empty. And what a joyous feeling that was.

But now Alexis knew. She knew I wasn’t this sweet innocent girl that blushed too much and awkwardly floundered when she teased me with her flirtatious personality. Alexis was a woman who was proud of the men and women she’d slept with. She was the one who sought out companionship for pleasure and entertainment. Me? I allowed myself to be used.

When it was clear I’d finished, Alexis let out a long sigh. I winced, feeling guilty and ashamed that’d I’d lost control of myself and just… dumped on her.

“Fuuuuck,” she finally said, running her hand slowly through her bangs and hair. I looked away, not wanting to see the way she looked at me. “You mean I could have been charging guys this entire fucking time?” My eyes shot up onto the screen, wide as could be. “Chloe, you are a genius,” she said with a laugh. “God damn it. I’ve been letting all these guys fuck me for free. I’ve never even considered making them pay for it. Shit. I could be living like a queen right now!”

Once the shock of her reaction wore off, I realized what she was doing. Injecting humor into the situation was her way of showing me that even after all that, nothing had changed. Her acceptance hit me hard. I laughed, wiping at the fresh round of tears overtaking me. They were not the oppressive ones I’d shed earlier.

“Sorry,” I managed. “I don’t know what came over me.”

She was silent for a moment, looking uncomfortable. “I’m… not very good at this. This is usually Natalie’s thing. She always knows what to say in times like this.”

I shook my head. “Thank you. For letting me vent like that. I didn’t even know I was carrying that all around.”

Alexis gave me a smile that showed teeth. “Hey, that’s what friends are for, right?”

Hearing that made my breath catch. Friends. Such a small thing but it meant the world to me. Shit. Fresh tears were threatening to take over again.

We talked for a few more minutes before we ended the call. I rolled off my bed, fanning my face to dry the tears. I checked the mirror and groaned at the horrible sight. I felt drained, but at the same time, energized. Mess I was, I still managed a smile. Alexis had said we were friends, and after this I, I truly believed that. This conversation had broken down a barrier that brought us another step closer. Even sharing a side of ourselves that might not have painted us in the best light, nothing had changed but our understanding of each other. It was all hitting me so quickly. Maybe it was because she was so open about things that I simply matched her pace without thinking.

And even at this point of blissful liberation, I felt horrible. My chest ached because I realized this is what I was missing with Jake. My feelings for him hadn’t changed, but this moment had clarified the real challenges we would be facing together. This could have never happened with Jake and was probably why it had only happened now. Alexis and I had an emotional connection, something Jake and I struggled with from the start. Spilling my heart and everything it held was something I couldn’t do with Jake because he couldn’t understand what I was feeling. His Gift allowed him to see it all with unprecedented clarity, better than anyone, but for all his care and love he didn’t know how to properly respond to it. It was nothing against him and he supported me in his own way, but it made me feel guilty I had such an intimate moment with Alexis. The pain I felt was from me realizing that I had never even tried to have this moment with Jake, yet it had come so naturally with Alexis...

I had seen that in Alexis’ eyes too. She understood. Not what I was saying, but the weight of it. She understood and accepted the burden of my emotions and the meaning they held to me.

This was all so exhausting.

Collapsing back on my bed, my mind continued to spin on what these new feelings meant. Closing my eyes, I felt sleep unburden my troubles… if only for a moment.