Friends: What You Gonna Do?

Brandy whipped around, holding a bottle as a microphone while she started spitting the lyrics at her best friends.

“Yo, I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!”

“Oh, no, you didn’t?” Fawn gasped while Darla cheered, bouncing up and down.

"She did," Wrenn sighed, watching Darla frantically search for something to use as a mic. "I'm too old for this crap."

“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,” their Fourth Musketeer sang at Brandy, using a salt shaker.

“I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want,” Brandy sang, leaning back partly while raising her hands to the sides of her chest and shimmying her upper body.

“To piss off Bev,” Fawn replied, earning a mouthed, “You know it” back.

“So tell me what you want, what you really, really want,” Darla pleaded, moving into the ex-cheerleader’s personal space.

“I wanna,” Brandy mimed, throwing her arms out as she performed a full spin.

“Ha!” Darla barked.

“I wanna,” the blonde continued.

“Ha!” the brunette shouted.

The duo repeated the lines twice more before Brandy resumed.

“I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah.”

Not too far away, within watching distance, a group of guys broke off their discussion about the college football bowl game that just ended. Around their late twenties to mid-thirties, the men were well-acquainted with the specific clique of women making a scene.

"Called it," Teddy Day stated, knowing Brandy would pick the Spice Girls once he heard they were taking requests.

“You gonna join them?” Hearst Swift teased.

“You better hurry,” Reilly McCracken cracked, nudging a snickering Connor Peerson with his elbow.

“That was one time!” Teddy defended before noticing Dean laughing. “Laugh it up, buddy. I remember you ran off to hide in terror.”

“It was embarrassing,” Dean muttered, breaking off in mid-laugh as a sheepish expression formed. Although more outgoing and confident than his sister, Dean often froze around Darla’s older, aggressive friends since he was little.

The men watched as an annoyed, eye-rolling Fawn flipped her participation on like a switch. Strutting forward, she slapped her chest while signing her line.

“If you want my future, forget my past.”

Unfortunately, the following line went unsung.

“You see? You better get over there!” Hearst resumed his teasing of Teddy.

“Don’t worry. My replacement will show up,” he responded.

“Now, don't go wasting my precious time,” Brandy picked up, shooting a glare at Fawn.

“She’ll be here,” the librarian assured.

"Get your act together; we could be just fine," Darla continued singing while scanning the ballroom.

“We need our Baby Spice,” Brandy hissed.

“Well, who’s fault is it for not giving anyone a heads up?” Wrenn shot back.

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want
So tell me what you want, what you really, really want
I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha) I wanna, (ha)
I wanna really, really, really wanna zigazig ah

Although they hadn't performed the dance since before Fawn moved back home five years ago, the girls would never forget the choreography that Brandy **** them to repeat repeatedly until they were in perfect sync. Created when the girls were nine-year-olds, they perfected their performance the next year in time for a special celebration. And it was brought back every few years through college just to spite a specific person or two.

Muscle memory led Fawn and Brandy to back up until they stood in the front. Wrenn and Darla slid in to stand precisely ten feet behind them. Suddenly, their missing part raced into the middle, forming the connecting center section of their X formation while apologizing.

Eight years younger than the other four women, twenty-two-year-old Keeley Keady had literally joined the group as a baby. As an only child, Fawn immediately connected with the newborn Keeley. Assuming a regular visitor and babysitter role, the two girls had just clicked from the start. And while Wrenn often helped babysit the young girl while in high school, she didn't form a sisterly bond with Keeley like Fawn did.

Little Key often laughed so hard at the older girls' singing and various performances that she'd roll over or fall down. And when the girls assigned Spice Girls' roles to each other, Keeley naturally became Baby Spice. Outside of Brandy as Scary Spice, it was the only role that fit a girl. The other three got assigned roles opposite to their personalities. Shy, underconfident Darla became sexpot Ginger, bookish Fawn ended up as Sporty, and unfashionable Wrenn as glamorous Posh. Although Wrenn's growing haughtiness over the years seemed to be more and more in line.

All five women crossed their arms to start the performance in step with each other. Throwing their arms out to the side, they moved them behind their backs while they addressed all the men watching them with eager interest as their spinning occurred.

If you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my friends
(Gotta get with my friends)
Make it last forever, friendship never ends
If you wanna be my lover, you have got to give
Taking is too easy, but that's the way it is

Finished with their first group sequence, the clique spread out at Brandy's orders. Fawn followed her BFF as they dashed over to the same group of men who had been talking about them. With his own plan in mind, Teddy didn't fight much when his old neighbor grabbed his hand. Dean did as Fawn eventually needed Wrenn's assistance.

The five of them returned to their prominent spot on the dance floor to find Fiona Wynwick with her shaking head.

“Still as crazy as ever, aren’t you?”

“You know it, Fi. I’m wild until the end. What about you?” Brandy challenged the foundation chairwoman.

“Oh, I have people to do my bidding now,” the silver-haired thirty-five-year-old replied, nodding behind Brandy to where Fiona’s cousin Lotus Thirlby shoved her cousin Ian out to join the growing group.

So, here's a story from A to Z
You wanna get with me, you gotta listen carefully
We got Em in the place who likes it in your face
You got G like MC who likes it on a
Easy V doesn't come for free, she's a real lady
And as for me, ha you'll see

“So, does all your family have elaborate choreographed dance sequences?” Spencer asked with an amused smile. The group he stood with watched as Brandy belted out the verse while pointing at each of her friends.

“It just seems like it for our families,” Nate replied before Peyton. He wanted to make it clear to his rival that their two families had close ties.

“I think it’s more than just Pey’s family in Honey Hollow,” Auggie said, earning incredulous nods from AJ and Harper.

“At least Lana hasn’t gone this route,” Jamie-Lynn added about her housemate.

"Yet," Eoin replied, cracking a smile. "Don't count out Poppy's and Steph's drunken persuasion skills."

"The Nineties were a different time," Peyton stated, shaking her head. The blonde felt part amusement and part embarrassment over all the dance numbers tonight, including those performed for her. "My mom and aunt had friends who liked grabbing people's attention."

"Huh? I think I should have a talk with them. I didn't realize you're the only woman in the family without dance skills. Maybe I can get a few pointers," Kiki joked.

"You should ask Sugar's mom for her videos," Zaylie suggested. She didn't need to elaborate, as her friends knew she meant Nate.

“Of course, Aunt Tinny has videos,” Peyton sighed.

“It is fitting that Brandy played this tonight,” Nate proclaimed, causing Eoin to scowl at his other rival’s inside knowledge of the Fallon family. “I think my mom started this dance because of Aunt Cassie.”

“That sounds familiar. I think Aunt Tinny said something to Lana once about it,” Peyton recalled.

“Yeah, I guess Cassie liked this song, so my mom and Aunt Bridget put together a lipsync performance to tease her. And Brandy not only had to get into the act, but she took it to another level,” Nate recounted.

“Which she always does,” Peyton confirmed with another sigh.

“Hey, I’m pretty sure one of my earliest memories of your aunt is her singing and dancing to songs like this to us,” Nate responded.

“That’s because she was freaked out about babysitting us. My mom said that she learned quickly that keeping us entertained was the best way to be an aunt,” Peyton said, recalling some of the crazy stuff her youngest aunt did with them.

"The story goes that Peyton's other aunt, Beverly, hated this song and Brandy singing it. So that just meant Brandy did it even more," Nate continued retelling the events.

“Oh, right. Don’t count Aunt Bev as having her own personal dance number,” Peyton added, giggling at the notion.

“Eventually, Brandy and her friends put on a performance at Bev’s graduation party. My grandma said it was adorable. They even had Keeley with them. I think she was just a toddler,” Nate revealed.

“Aww! That’s so cute,” Merritt cooed, knowing Keeley more than most of their college friends, as she was two grades ahead of her while growing up.

“Mom said Aunt Bev got so red in the face that they thought she might have a stroke. Grandma ended up scolding her for attempting to turn the music off. Only Bev would try to ruin her own graduation party,” Peyton recounted. “I know this one has a video as Mrs. Day had their family’s camcorder.”

“Wait, how old was your aunt?” Spencer queried.

“Uh, let’s see…Brandy and her friends would’ve been ten. Yeah, they were ten. Keeley was two,” Peyton figured out. “I don’t know how they got Keeley to dance in tune with them, but it was probably due to Fawn.”

“Still, I can’t see Nate’s mom liking this song. It’s just not her,” Kiki insisted.

"Oh, it's not. My mom was into other types of music…like this," Nate said as the swerve happened with a DJ scratch.

“What’s that? Remix!” Teddy announced, turning to face Brandy. He had a little time as the DJ agreed to play the song’s fake radio introduction.

“What? You? Oh, you’re going to get it!” Her attempt to slap Teddy failed as he saw it coming from a mile away.

“Hahaha. I knew you’d pick your song, so I picked mine,” her old neighbor revealed as they reverted to their surrogate sibling rivalry. Although often left flummoxed and frustrated by the younger blonde, Teddy found enough winning moments to stay competitive. “And damn, you must have pissed the DJ off. He was very willing to help.”

“I don’t think Olympia is going to be thrilled by your selection,” Brandy sassed back, already motioning for Darla to grab her phone from her purse.

“My wife is upstairs. This is me time. Doggystyle time,” Teddy proclaimed, snatching Brandy's bottle microphone out of her hand.

Brandy responded with an exaggerated eye-roll.

“When I met you last night, baby,” Teddy sang at Brandy. “Before you opened up your gap. I had respect for you, lady. But now I take it all back.” Risking further danger to his well-being, Teddy pointed down low on his childhood tormentor. “'Cause you gave me all your pussy. And you even licked my balls.”

While Brandy mostly watched with arms crossed and a bemused smile, Darla recorded her brother's friend. Wrenn reverted to her opinionated self as she observed Fawn giggle like a schoolgirl while she watched her first crush throwdown with her BFF.

“Damn, this is turning into a classic,” Eoin chuckled. “Who wants the over/under for how long until Peyton’s aunt snaps?”

“This song is awful. I’m just happy Finn isn’t here to witness this,” Jamie-Lynn stated. “What would his mother think?”

“That she’s surprised that it’s not my mom singing it,” Nate responded, receiving a whole-hearted nod from Peyton.

“I love this song!” Steph cheered, bouncing over to the group. Merritt and Jamie-Lynn shared a look that showed they weren’t shocked.

“Oh, wow! Fiona’s getting involved,” Poppy alerted everyone needlessly.

All their attention had perked up even further when Teddy had turned to the charity foundation’s chairwoman with the scandalous past. When he sang about feeling horny and that she could come over for him to break her off, Fiona got into the act by pointing at herself. She even moved her hands down her slinky dress to emphasize her curves. And when Teddy got to the part about her just laying back and opening her mouth if she wasn’t down to fuck that day, Fiona opened her mouth wide before zipping it shut and shaking her head.

“As if Aunt Fi didn’t suck off guys back in the day like a champ,” Steph giggled, watching Brandy and Fiona share a high-five.

Suddenly, Teddy dropped to his knees and sang the next two lines while looking up at the pair of ladies.

'Cause I have never met a girl
That I love in the whole wide world

“I guess we know from whom Nate learned his performance skills,” Harper remarked.

“Sugar, you’ve clearly never met his mom,” Zaylie responded.

“You have no idea,” Peyton added to her college friends who had never met her mom’s best friend.

Unbeknownst to the guests in the ballroom, a pair of ears had perked up in the ballroom while the Snoop Doggy Dogg song’s intro with DJ EZ Dick had started to play. Wrapping up the conversation about finding extra space for guests **** to stay over as quickly and abruptly as possible, Graham Diamond started to speedwalk away. After several more steps, the COO of Diamond Corp threw out any pretense and started sprinting around people.

Racing into the ballroom, Graham scanned the crowd. Spotting Teddy, Brandy, and their younger group, his eyes kept searching. Finally, he noticed his old crew and guys a year or two older behind the younger cliques. Dashing over, Graham made eye contact with Oliver Ragg before sliding in front of Grubby’s owner and Hershel Cline. It proved to be perfect timing.

“Well, if Kurupt gave a fuck about a bitch I'd always be broke,” Graham rapped. “I'd never have no motherfuckin' Indo to smoke. I gets loc'ed and looney, bitch, you can't do me. Do we like BBD, you hoochie groupie?”

Frida watched as Graham threw his arms out in reference to his clique of friends. And when he rapped along about having no love for hoes and not getting played by them, it wasn't lost on Frida how at odds that was with the younger Diamond brother's life. The string of golddiggers in his past had left Graham as the more miserable brother compared to Happy Go-Lucky Harvey. Then, recalling her earlier advice about acting like his older brother for the night, Frida sent a text message ordering Graham to focus on picking up a woman, not a fake microphone.

“And then I'm through with it, there's nothing else to do with it,” Graham continued, not caring one bit how people might view him rapping along to this song. It was all just good fun from his younger days. “Pass it to the homie, now you hit it. 'Cause she ain't nothin' but a bitch to me. And y'all know, that bitches ain't shit to me.”

It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none

“Boys. They never grow up, do they?” Maura remarked to her old cheerleader friends.

“Boys? Shit, I bet Tinny is pissed that her brother stole this song,” Shayla shot back at her best friend. Behind her, the other ex-cheerleaders agreed.

Moments earlier, a large, imposing man with dark skin shook his head.

“Oh, hell no. I ain’t letting Boy Tinny and Junior Diamond steal this song. It’s ours,” Duke Hager declared, throwing his arms out and slapping the chests of Barnabas and Abacus Kessler.

Stepping forward, the star defensive end for the last Honey Hollow team to win the state championship nodded at Oliver and Hershel, two more of his ex-teammates. Graham understood what Duke wanted without any words, so he passed off the invisible mic to the current defensive coordinator.

“Guess who's back in the motherfuckin' house. With a fat dick for your motherfuckin' mouth,” Duke belted.

“Go, coach!” Abacus’s song, Abner, cheered on his current mentor. Next to him, Winkie didn’t know what to say or think, standing like a deer in front of headlights.

Behind Winkie and the younger Kessler, Howard Cline and Chet Ragg shared a head shake at their fathers’ old friends’ behavior.

“So I'd advise you not to trust that hoe,” Duke continued with his wife watching from a table in amusement. She already planned to play a trick by acting outraged. “Silly of me to fall in love with a bitch. Knowin’ damn well, I'm too caught up with my grip.”

Duke gestured toward the collection of ex-basketball players, letting them know he'd pass the song off to one of them when the time came. However, the most likely person, Hoyt Magruder, was off running his strip club in Arbor Corners. Shakir Wright, their captain, also wasn't in the ballroom at this moment, which Jerry and Art realized as they looked around for him.

So, with his keen eye for detail and sensing the confusion, Elliot Ridge slid in to take over the Warren G section. And he went all out with his effort. That sent nearly all the women from his generation into hysterics.

“If Cassie could see him now,” Lauren said, laughing hard enough that tears formed.

With the Banks and Ridges living across the street from each other, their parents had become good friends. That often led to uncomfortable moments due to the fallout of Elliot’s and Tinsley’s prank war.

“This has got to be a prank setup,” Addison speculated.

“What’s the punchline?” Cookie exclaimed, slurring her words. Her friends all glanced at her, causing the brunette to fret. “That made sense, right?”

“Knock knock. Who’s there? A sloshed Cookie,” Shelly teased her best friend.

“I am a tweensy-weensy bit faded,” Cookie tittered.

“And I think somebody is impressed,” Shayla remarked, gesturing her friends to look over at Sabrina. “She’s giving Elliot the big eye.”

“Brina!” Maura gasped.

“Whatever. Worry about your husbands,” Sabrina shot back, her gaze never leaving Elliot.

“Yeah, some of us are still on the prowl,” Lauren defended.

Suddenly, a Sugarbee burst into their semi-circle.

“Please tell me that someone is recording this!” Cordelia panted, having missed the first part of the song before rushing back to the ballroom.

“Lemon is on it,” Shayla revealed.

“Lem!” Sabrina squealed, finally removing her eyes from the performance to glare at her old cheermate.

“I think some of our kids are taping this too. Likely for future ****,” Maura added, nodding to where her daughter Dove stood with Lauren and Naomi’s offspring.

“Tinny would **** us if we didn’t get evidence of this,” Shayla added, getting a round of nods.

“I’m going to need copies. Elliot is so getting payback at a future family event,” Cordelia revealed, already plotting that payback. Her younger classmate had been thrust into her life when her sister Amelia married Rusty Ridge.

It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none
It ain't no fun if the homies can't have none

After the last chorus ended, Graham knew his brief moment of fun had ended, meaning he needed to get back to helping more guests stay safe for the night. Still, he walked off the dance floor, beaming in delight at the rare opportunity to see old friends and acquaintances. Checking his phone to see Frida’s message caused an additional chuckle. Unfortunately, his smile faded as a blonde stepped in to block his route.

“Trying to play the bigshot like your brother? Oh, Hammy, you don’t have it in you.”

“Joely, I told you before, let’s just go about our night like neither of us is here,” Graham replied to his ex-girlfriend/golddigger. It had been a short-term relationship, as most of his sadly turned out to be.

“No,” Joely stated, pushing his chest with a lone finger. “We have unfinished bus–hey!”

Golddigger Number One never had a chance to finish her statement as the arm she’d used to push Graham ended up behind her back. The forceful action caused the blonde’s face to grimace in pain.

“I’ll take care of this one, sir,” Tamsin stated, using her free hand to gesture to hotel security to come over.

“Uh, well, thanks, Tam,” Graham responded, slightly embarrassed at needing his assistant and a security guard to deal with an ex. Still, it freed him up to help other guests. “I, um, need to check back in with Dalton.”

Ten feet later, Graham spotted Golddigger Numer Two. The dark-haired Ramona was in the middle of a showdown with Frida. For the umpteenth time this night, Graham wondered about the odds of two of the fortune hunters in his life showing up at the hotel tonight. Especially as neither lived in the area. Dalton's point about plenty of wealthy men at the hotel tonight bringing out the bloodsuckers made sense, but Tommy Tenno's presence added to the possibility that his father was involved.

The sudden surprise appearance of Golddigger Number Three lent plenty of credence to that theory. The smirking redhead had been a favorite of Graham’s mother. She’d even had the nerve to suggest that her son give the scheming woman another chance.

“Who invited you, June?”

“Wow, talk about hostility, Ham!” Juniper responded with a laugh. But while her mouth formed the cheery sound, her eyes were still as cold as ice. They always were. “Talk about coincidences! I just happen to be here in Honey Hollow and run into you on New Year’s Eve of all nights. C’mon, drop the attitude and give me a hug. Maybe you’ll get lucky with a kiss.”

“I’m sorry. Let me rephrase my question. Who paid you to be here?”

“That’s not very polite. You never could just enjoy life and stop worrying about people’s motives,” Juniper replied, dropping her pleasantness as she took a sip from a cocktail that nearly matched her hair. Graham recalled that she always had a liking for cranberry juice.

“Living off someone else’s money while enjoying life is far easier than earning it. Wait, I’m sorry, you do earn it with all that,” Graham said, motioning down at her figure.

“Perhaps if you stopped living in your brother’s shadow—I’m sorry. How about we start over?” Juniper asked, not waiting for an answer as her smiling act returned. “I happened to be in Australia earlier this year, and you won’t believe who I ran into–”

“Pardon me. I believe there was a mixup with your drink. May I have it?”

Juniper turned in confusion as a young blonde took her glass out of her hand. Her ice-blue eyes immediately evaluated the interrupter. The busty blonde wore a gold lace corset dress for the holiday. The top half appeared to be a black bra and the bottom a black miniskirt. It was connected by transparent material interspaced with a gold design that flaunted her toned stomach.

Thrown off by the youthfulness of the blonde, it took Juniper several seconds to recognize a competitor. Once her brain synapses fired, it was too late.

“Yes, the mixup is that this should be all over you,” Yelena Mishkova stated, pouring the cranberry cocktail over Juniper’s head. The red liquid flowed down the golddigger’s dress, leaving her a fuming mess.

“You bitch!”

“You might be older and more experienced, honey, but some gals just don’t have that natural scheming talent,” Yelena hissed into Juniper’s ear, after pulling her in close with a firm grip. Then, she shoved the older ginger backward. “So, either get better or retire.”

Graham watched in bewilderment as the teenager stepped in front of him.

“Do I know you? You look slightly–”

“Yes, you do. I go to school with Whitney,” Yelena revealed, reaching up to grab Graham’s tie.

“You’re friends with my niece?” Graham asked, still confused as the young blonde tugged his tie, pulling him across the ballroom.

“Friends? Hardly. I’m a Sugarbee.”

That was enough of an explanation for Graham. It also worked to snap him out of his shock. And he started to protest about wherever the teenager led him and whatever she had planned.

“Relax and don’t worry. I’m not looking for gifts, an ATM, or a wedding ring. I’m merely curious if your brother is the only Big Dick Diamond in town.”

With the explanation, Yelena continued to lead Graham to the elevators using his tie.