Friday morning thoughts

I wake up well before Kelly and look across her at the clock on my desk. Barely five in the morning. My sister is wrapped around my body like a vine, her arms woven behind my back, her chest pressing into me, and her legs interweaving mine. She must have rolled over in the night, I think.

I give her butt a soft squeeze, letting my touch linger for a moment against her warm flesh, and then extricate myself from her embrace with a sigh. Being away from her is the last thing I want to do, but I have things to do. I climb out of bed and look down at her, admiring her sleeping body. She is a contradiction of softness and strength, her petite form holding an effortless energy that I increasingly adore. Why didn't I do it last night? Fantasies of her appear in my mind, but I know I can't give in to them yet. Not before I talk with Mom and Ashley. Besides, it was nice to just hang out with Kelly. It isn't something I get to do often.

I pop a pill on my way to the bathroom and get cleaned up, then return to my room after a few minutes. Kelly is still asleep. I settle into my computer chair and start working, knowing I need to keep the money flowing in to support everyone. Some contract jobs keep me busy for a few hours until I hear a rustling behind me.

I twist my neck and lean against my desk, looking over my shoulder. Kelly is finally waking up, sitting up beneath my comforter and stretching her arms high into the air. Her blonde hair is a wild cascade of blonde curls, no longer in its tight bun, and falls down her shoulders in a golden waterfall. "Sleep well?" I ask.

Kelly looks at me and glares, then falls back onto the bed and grunts. "Go away," she murmurs, and I chuckle. I leave her alone and continue working for a while longer until I finally hear her rustling in the sheets again, this time shortly followed by the sound of her feet landing on the floor.

"What's up?" she asks, as she walks over to me. Kelly leans against my back, her soft breasts pressing into the back of my head, and I lean my head back into them to look up into her eyes. The aroma of strawberries fills my nose, as it always does when she is close to me.

"Just workin'."

She looks down at me and rolls her eyes, then pushes my head forward again with her thumb. Her bare foot taps against the floor. "Better keep at it then, champ. I have expensive habits, you know."

I chuckle. "Hey Kelly," I say, turning around and watching her bend over the bed to get her phone. My words catch in my throat. The perfect roundness of her bubble butt draws my attention, and my eyes trail down between them to the sheer pink thong she still wears. The fabric is disheveled and hangs loosely from her hips. Even from feet away, I can see her rosebud and the pinkness of her inner lips. My earlier thoughts haunt me. Should I really wait? Do I really need to?

"What?" she asks, turning around to face me. She grins when she sees where I was looking, then turns sideways so I can stare at the curvature of her ass some more. "Like it?" She teasingly pulls on her butt cheek with one hand, smirking.

"You have no idea, but that's not it...Thanks for staying with me last night. I had fun with you."

Her hand falls back to her side. Kelly smiles, her pale skin suddenly flushing, and she leans against the bed. "I'm still thinking, you know." She cocks one knee out towards me and looks up in thought.

"I know."

She nods, then grabs her quilt from where she left it the previous evening. "I think I'll go be alone now, if that's alright." She walks to the door and looks over her shoulder at me as if waiting for permission.

"I'll allow it," I answer, jokingly. But she blushes all the same, and I sigh as she disappears through the door and down the hallway.

I return to my work, focusing on the task at hand for the few hours I have until lunch.

Around noon, a light knock on my door draws me from my focus. Mom walks in, wearing her familiar black yoga pants and matching sports bra, both clinging to her fit curves and contorting with each sashay of her hips. Her blonde hair is in a ponytail, and her makeup is applied as beautifully as always. As gorgeous as a model, and mine. "Hey, Honey. How're you this morning?" She walks over to me and plants a wet kiss on my cheek, then another on my lips as I turn to greet her.

"Good now that I've seen you," I murmur, and she smiles. I pause, thinking. Now is better than later. I should rip the band-aid off. "Hey, Mom. Can we talk?"

Suddenly serious, she nods. "Always, dear. What's wrong?"

I motion for the bed and close the door while she settles onto the same mattress Kelly laid in only a few hours ago. I take a seat beside her, one leg drawn up onto the mattress so that I can face her. Kelly's scent mixes with Mom's and creates an interesting combination of strawberry and vanilla.

"What's wrong?" she asks again, with more alarm in her voice than before. "This feels serious." Her fingers dig into her thighs. "Are you okay?" There is a vulnerability in her eyes that I have rarely seen, as if she stands on the edge of something vast, afraid to fall.

"I'm fine, Mom. Everything is fine." Her grip visibly relaxes, but I detect her heart rate is still elevated. Her breath mingles with mine as she leans in, lacing the air between us with mint and vanilla. "I just want to talk to you about something. About us."

"Okay," she says, her voice trembling as her gaze finally meets mine. "You want to stop, don't you? I knew you would. An old bag of bones like me... and your mother, on top of that. I'm sorry, dear. I never should have thrown myself at you, I should have--."

"Wow, wow, Mom, hold on," I finally interrupt, as her breathing increases and starts to come in short gasps. The poor woman is nearly having a panic attack over the thought of me not wanting her. I thank whatever God is out there for her love, suddenly appreciative of it as a son and a lover. I reach out, my fingers grazing her wrist, and gently tug her closer. She lets herself be pulled, her body responding to my touch with a softness that contradicts the tension coursing through her. "It's not that at all. I love what is happening between us."

She sighs, her breath calming. "Then what is it?" She cuts her eyes towards me, afraid, then down at my hand, still grasping hers.

"It's about Ashley and Kelly. I want you to brace yourself for what I am about to say. I love you. I love them. I want to be the man of this house and support you. But I want to support them also, in the same way. I don't know how to explain it."

"You mean..." She looks away, staring ahead at the wall. Her hand pulls away from mine and fidgets with a ring on her opposite hand. Her eyes close and her breath hitches, as if in anticipation of what I'll say next.

"What I mean is that I love all of you, equally. I feel it in my bones, that I am supposed to do this. It's so natural, like breathing. The way I feel about them is different. They are bright, wild, and beautiful in their own ways, just like you. But it doesn't detract from how I feel about you, Mom. You're the foundation of everything. None of us would be here without you. I... know it may not be what you expected to hear. But it is the truth, and I want you to know it before anything more happens between us. I want you to think about it. Will you do that?"

Mom sighs and looks at me again, her eyes downcast. She bites her inner cheek and hums for a minute. "I'll think about it." She slides away from the bed and rests her hands on the back of my computer chair, creating space between us, and looks back at me. "But... I want you to tell me. Do they feel the same way?"

"I think they love me as much as you do," I answer.

"And they've... done things, with you?"

"They have. But nowhere near what you and I have done."

"And they already know you want this?"

"Kelly does. I am talking to Ashley tonight. And, just so I know we're clear, I consider Aunt Esmere and Colette part of our family, even though they haven't shown any interest of this kind."

Mom sighs. "And what did Kelly say?" Distracted, she bends over to pick up some debris from the floor and places it into the trash bin by my desk. I watch her athletic body bend and stretch in her tight black leggings. Ugh, what I would give to be crawling into bed with her instead of talking about this.

"She is thinking about it too. But I think she will be happy in the end."

I grab Mom's hand as she paces back and forth and pull her towards me. She falls onto my lap with a yelp, and I hold her against me. I cup her face with my hand and trace a line down her delicate cheekbone. Her skin is warm and smooth beneath my touch. She smiles. "This isn't me being a pervert, Mom. This is what I think is best. For all of us. Be honest with me, does it not feel completely natural for me to lead this family? To be who Dad should have been? To provide support in every way I can, to all of you?"

"It... does," she murmurs, confused. Her soft hand grabs my bicep and squeezes it. "I don't understand why I feel this way, though. Look, Dom. The only reason I want to think is because my heart is telling me not to. It's telling me that this is perfectly fine and what you're suggesting is best for all of us. But I also know... that can't be. I need to work through these feelings."

She slides from my lap and walks to the doorway. "I'll make some lunch for us and think about it over the afternoon. Besides, I hear you have a hot date to prepare for." She gives me a faltering smile, then disappears downstairs with a sigh.