Free Use

[This is just a dumb set-up plot. Feel free to skip it to get straight to the free use.]

"This book is literally magic," your friend Kyle tells you. "I got it from a guy who got it from a guy who has a cousin whose uncle's brother's son found it in some creepy woods."

"What does it do?" you ask.

"The details aren't important, but this book allows you to control minds, alter thoughts, feelings, and memories too! So I thought, why not use this book to change the whole world?"

"Suuuuure," you say in disbelief.

"I know, you don't believe me, but I am about to prove it to you. I know a guy who knows a guy who fucked a guy who just so happens to know a lot about the arcane arts. I helped him use the book to solve a little problem of his and he agreed to make me a device that can project the power of the book across the entire world. The only downside is that it destroys the book."

"Okay let's pretend for a second that this whole ridiculous situation is real, what would be worth destroying a book of unlimited power? No offense, but you aren't exactly the 'world peace' type of guy."

"Two words: free use," he tells you. As much as you do enjoy the concept of everybody having sex with each other, at this point you are certain he is just fucking with you. He takes you into the kitchen and shows you the device. It's a... microwave. You give him a disapproving stare as he shoves a gross-looking leather-bound book into the microwave. He punches in one minute and nine seconds. It begins counting down. Silence.

"If you start a fire over this dumb joke I am not helping you put it out," you tell him. But then the timer hits zero and the world seems to freeze. A massive green glow fills your vision and the world around you. You feel like you've just been awoken.

In front of you is your friend, Kyle and an empty counter. You seem to recall something being there but you can't place your finger on it. In fact, you can't even remember why you are in his kitchen. He smiles at you.

"How would you respond if some strange woman came up to you right now and asked for sex?" he asks you. What kind of question was that?

"I would have sex with her of course. It is common courtesy to have sex with someone when they ask," you respond.

"It worked!" your friend announces.

"What worked? What's with the weird questions? Are you okay?" you ask. He never tells you. Instead he says he has some business to take care of and he ushers you out of the house. You decide not to concern yourself too much and continue on with your day. What were you going to do again?