For a change of pace, Sam's the test subject, at his insistence

Sam flung open the door to the phone booth with gusto, and surprisingly it didn't fall off in the process. "Roy, my good friend, as much as it pains me to do so, I cannot allow you to take such a risk!" He tossed away his script, apparently not needing it, then stepped inside and closed the door, completely concealing himself from view. "I've been thinking, when the historians speak of this moment, doesn't it make for a better tale for the brave scientist to make himself the test subject?"

Roy couldn't help but smile at his good luck. "Well, it worked for Kevin Bacon in Hollow Man," he replied as he began to inspect the touchscreen. Sure enough, it was nothing more than a tablet PC, with masses of wires soldered into its side and going into the computer banks every which way but loose. The screen was currently displaying some sort of simple text based program, with an array of drop down menus, most of them titled things like "eye color", "total average muscle mass", and "hair density per square inch". That said, a few of them seemed to target more esoteric attributes, such as "stubbornness", "mental affinity", and "innate musical talent". One of them on this first screen was even labeled "favorite soap opera", at which point Roy chuckled at how silly all of this was. How does manipulating genetics change someone's love of Dallas?

He scrolled down only to find thousands upon thousands of attributes to modify. He couldn't help but marvel at how long this must have taken to design; it must have taken weeks simply to write down all of the options. Most curious of all, was at the bottom of the list, right next to a big green button labeled "Engage", was a big blue button labeled "Randomize". His curiosity got the better of him, and he pressed it against his better judgement. Sure enough, he watched as all of the drop down menus scrambled their selections. While he thought it was kind of dumb to make a randomize button amid all of this mess, Roy had to admit, it was actually kind of satisfying to watch it happen.

"Alright Roy, I already set us up a simple test pattern!" Sam called out from inside the booth, his voice muffled. "All you have to do is hit "Engage", and watch as I gain perfect vision! No more worrying about glasses and contacts for me!" he shouted in obvious excitement.

Roy froze in surprise. He couldn't help but feel a little bad as he reluctantly went to tap the "Engage" button, although he could rationalize away his guilt quite easily. Sure, he fucked up his buddy's toy, but it's not as though anything would actually happen to him, right?