Flight of the Aching Balls

As we leave the deafening screams coming from the Lake of Fire a new sound takes it's place. It's nowhere near as loud but at the same time it's more annoying. It's the sound of the big bad boogie man Jack the Ripper whimpering as we lead him by the leash attached to his balls. "For fuck's sake! I'm not even pulling that hard you big baby!"

"Oww ohh oww my- b- al--ls! Wh-- wh-- why do you ha--ve to--tug that hard!? Ohh ouch!" I can't believe this shit." Wow if the people of Victorian London could see you now, the great Jack the Ripper. Terror of the Whitechapel district. Pfftt! What a joke."

Tears of pain streak down his face." I'm not Jack the Ripper! I-- I-w--was --- framed!!" Reveca and I laugh hysterically.

"Oh okay I see, GOD THE ALL SEEING AND ALL KNOWING got it wrong did he? You were framed! Or maybe you're only down here because one of the angels made a clerical error. Yeah that's the ticket! Mistaken identity. It was really Professor Plum in the library with a candle stick. I'll tell you what Jack--- oh sorry I meant to say Nigel. I'll go tell Lucifer that there's been a mistake, you're completely innocent!"

Reveca can't stop laughing as I finish my rant." Don't insult our intelligence you demented prick!"

I've had just about enough of this bullshit. I tighten the ball clamp and grab his leash as he screams then I spread my bat like wings." You want something to cry about you mother fucker you?!" I take too the air and does he howl." Yyaooh auuchhii oww! Woo woo!" I hold tightly onto the leash as Jack dangles in the air under me being carried by his balls. I do loop de loops in the air as he screams in pain and terror." Whhoahh ! Aahhghh! Oww my balls!! Ohh please let me down! Let me down! Oww my nuts! My nuts!"

He screams and his limbs flail as we fly throughout Hell. Over the Putrid Swamp, The Puke Lagoon and the Burning Forest. Finally we fly towards Samael and Lillith's palace. As we draw closer I see Hell's ruling couple enjoying a meal of monkey asses out on their tenth floor veranda. I decide to be cheeky and buzz the veranda as Jackie boy screams in excruciating pain.

They both laugh their asses off as they see me dragging poor old Jack by the balls through the air as I fly by them. I then head back towards Reveca after all she should have some fun as well.

Long story short we get back to Reveca and I hover ten feet above the ground and drop Jack. He grunts as he hits the scorched ground and Reveca smiles as she gets her face so close too his their noses touch." Did you have a nice flight Jack? Now it's my turn to have some fun with you."

Poor Jackie boy. Reveca can be a real sadistic bitch.