Flashback and Motivation

You think back, far back, to the time it happened, 2 years ago.

"Hey, John, meet me later, same place as usual!" Michael tells you.

He's taller than you and generally way more popular, you don't even have many hobbies in common... but you're best friend. You met in kindergarten and you're friends since then. Sure you've had other friends, but you don't remember them while Michael is still close with you to this day. He's entered the same school and even though you aren't in the same class, he mostly protected you from potential bullies since you arrived.

Somehow the most prominent bully is a first-year just like you, Benjamin was kind of an asshole but even he couldn't do much when Michael was near. You were even starting to get friendly with some classmates.

You arrive on the school's roof, since you've started school a few months ago this was the place you spent the most time in, talking with Michael, playing games and generally spending time enjoying the view and the fresh air.

The school's roof is restricted, which means you're the only one up there. You can see Michael, sitting on a big cube that must serve for the aeration of the building. As you arrive he starts talking:

"So, how did you find Miss Gonzalez class?" He asks.

"Well I preferred Mr.Frolm but she's ok, you know I find English boring."

"Yeah, I know. Remember the scripts I like to write? I showed her some and she's showing me how to improve."

"Really? I can expect you're gonna write the next masterpiece then?" You tease him but he goes with the flow.

"Nah, I know you're not fond of book man, wait for the movies to come out, this way you'll hear me bitch about my original view not being respected." He laughs a little, there's no tension, when we talk together everything is fine, he starts looking at the sunset.

"You know John, I'm moving out next month." He drops what was weighing on him and you can see him relax, but in a contrasting position you tense up instead.

"You're joking, right?" You're ready to cry, you restrain yourself.

"Nah, my mom and me we're going to join my dad at his job on the other coast." He's calm, too calm.

"That's it? You're just gonna leave me? Can't you do something?" You sit down on the ground, he doesn't look at you, he certainly thinks that would make things harder right now.

"I asked but I didn't have a choice, I can't stay, we're moving to save on rent."

You start crying, slowly and quietly. First you feel sadness but then it transforms into fear, you don't want him to leave. You're brothers at this point. You can't separate bothers! What is going to happen to you if you stay here alone?

"Michael! Please try something! Anything! Let's go see your mom together! Maybe we can convince her." He tightens his fist, surely in frustration.

"John, maybe it's better if we stop seeing each other now, it'll make the goodbyes less hurtful." Your eyes are still full of tears but the emotion isn't sadness anymore, it's a mixture of anger and frustration, you stand up.

"You-you can't do that! You're so... so selfish!" You think you're trying to appeal to him but at this point, it doesn't matter.

"Maybe I wouldn't have so much trouble with you if you weren't just a crybaby!" He stands up to and the situation starts looking like a fight begging to begin.

"You're a piece of shit! I-I... You were my best friend!" You try to come up with an insult more hurtful, but that's all you're able to say.

"Well If we think so little of each other we should have stopped seeing each other long ago!" He starts walking toward the door to the lower floors but you catch his arm.

"D-Don't go!" He tries to make you let go but as you don't he pushes you, you almost fall over, and a second later you're pushing him in retaliation.

But Michael doesn't have the same luck you seem to have and can't seem to quite catch his footing. If the roof is restricted to adults it's not for nothing, indeed there aren't any safety barriers put in place as the cleaning staff is supposed to be the only ones to come here. Without any support to stop himself in his inertia, Michael continues his plunge into the ground, from a few dozen meters up. You don't remember much after that, you know you had your first panic attack this day, and you weren't exactly the same person since.

You look back at the person on this hospital bed, the man you robbed of his life because you were throwing a temper tantrum. Looking back, you know you were in the wrong, he was clearly the mature one for not stressing out, you won't say that cutting all links to you was a good idea either. Looking back, you'd love to do things differently, your fight even seems stupid with all the ways of communicating today. But you were caught in the moment, and you did something unforgivable. And now he'll die in the next few days.

If only you could wake up.

Things would be so easy... if you could just wake up...

You stop for a second, which becomes several seconds, then you start trembling. You let out a small, quiet laugh. Are you stupid? He CAN wake up! You only need to give him some help.

You don't know what to think at this moment, you were so focused on your frustration of being out of options, that you didn't consider the new option, the one that has the most chance of success.

You dry your tears and you start thinking of a plan, the wording needs to be perfect, you'll save him if it's the last thing you'll do, you're the one that put him in this situation after all.

"Trust me Michael! Everything will be alright!" You tell him, trying to convince yourself at the same time.