Fish sticks with a side of MIND BLOWN on top.

History of US presidents.

That's not right...

The Women Suffrage movement.

Men Suffrage movement? What??

"John?"

List of all Red Power Rangers and Sentai Rangers.

All female leads?

Best cartoon shows made for boys.

It's all just a list of girly frilly pink cartoon shows.

"John? Hello?"

Best cartoon shows made for girls.

Transformers, GI Jane, Spectacular Spiderwoman- All action-focused tv shows.

Pornhub

All of the popular featured videos are focused on muscular guys with huge testicles.

Mandela Effect and Alternate History

Berenstein Bears, not Berenstain Bears.

I FUCKING KNEW IT.

"JOHN!"

I nearly jumped in my seat, startled by Tiffany's sudden shouting.

"Y-Yeah?" I tried to calm down and acted natural.

"You haven't touched your fish sticks yet. It's gonna get cold." Tiffany told me with a concerned look.

"Right, right, sorry." I got started eating the things, not really paying attention to the taste as I went back on my phone to do more research.

"John, I'm starting to get really worried about you." Tiffany started off, pushing her plate away.

Trust me, you're not the only one... I rubbed my head, doing my best to deal with the facts.

Apparently, I'm in an alternate universe where all boys are girls, and all girls are boys, but everyone is still the same gender. God, what fucking trip this has been. This suddenly explained so much about why I felt everything was so different.

How the fuck did I get in this mess?

"You haven't been acting like yourself since you got out of the hospital today. I'm scared the doctors might have made a mistake and checked you out earlier than you were meant to."

Acting like myself, huh? How does John Doe usually act then, in this world? Like a girl? A girlier version of myself?

Deciding to press more info from her, I decided to ask, "What do you mean? How have I been acting differently?"

"I..." She paused, then sighed in frustration, "I don't even know how to describe it. You've been acting like you haven't recognize anything since you came back. You're looking around like a lost puppy, you haven't spoken a word to me during the ride home, and you haven't gotten your nose off of your phone ever since you had it in your hands." Gesturing wildly, she exacerbated, "You always hated smartphones! You never knew how to use them! Now I see you clicking away like a typewriter machine, when you could barely write a single text message the last time I saw you!"

Well, that explains why my phone doesn't have its usual wear and tear.

"Maybe we should go back to the hospital." Tiffany stated, standing up to leave.

"Woah- Tiff, Tiff, calm down!" I waved her to sit back down, "Don't overreact, there's nothing wrong with me anymore. Going to the doctor won't change anything except waste time, they're just gonna say I'm perfectly fine and recommend I use an ice pack if the bruising starts to hurt."

"And there's another thing that's freaking me out!" She pointed at me with a glare, "When did you ever call me Tiff?! Two years I've known you since you've moved here, and you have never ever EVER called me by that nickname!"

"Seriously? What, did you not like that nickname?"

"Everyone calls me Tiff! Everyone!" She pointed to herself, "Everyone except you! I've always told you that I didn't mind if you did, but you said that you didn't want to because it didn't make you feel special! You always preferred to call me Tiffany since it made you feel like you were the only one that was allowed to say it!"

Awww~! That's so cute! I never knew their relationship was that close. Makes me wish the Tiffany back home would act more like this.

Kind of bites me in the ass when I'm trying to act unsuspicious though.

"Look, I'm not angry at you or anything, I'm just unnerved by this sudden shift in personality." She calmed down to explain, "I'm worried about you, you know?"

"I get you, I do!" I reassured her, "Believe me, this isn't exactly a sunshine walk in the park for me either. I'd probably be acting the same way too if this was happening to you instead of me."

"So you know that there's something wrong with you then?" She asked.

"God, don't even get me started with how many things are wrong with me." I rolled my eyes.

"And yet you still don't want to go to hospital to fix this?"

"No amount of medical training in the world could possibly fix what's happening to me right now. Trust me. It's way more complicated than that."

"How much more complicated?" She asked in an almost demanding voice.

Uh...

...

"Well..." I shrugged hesitantly.

I mean, I only managed to figure this out myself literally moments ago. How exactly am I going to explain it to her without making her think I'm insane?

---

"That sounds insane." She stated bluntly.

Damn it.

Tiffany sat there on the couch with me as she pinched her eyebrows in confused thought.

"So let me get this straight... You're a John Doe from an alternate universe where reality is the opposite, boys are girls and girls are boys, and you somehow replaced the John Doe that I know for unexplained reasons." She repeated.

"Yep, pretty much." I nodded along.

"And... How exactly did you manage to figure this out?" Tiffany asked incredulously.

"Five minutes ago while I was doing research on the phone."

Tiffany stared at me like I was a loon.

In hindsight, I probably was. Maybe. I dunno. This could all be a terrible fever dream nightmare as far as I could tell.

"Alright, let's say this story is true then." Tiffany played along with the idea for a bit, "So you're from an alternate reality where boys and girls are switched. In that case, why are you still a boy instead of a girl? Shouldn't you have switched bodies?"

"No, see, you getting it wrong-" you began to explain again, "I don't come from a reality where everyone is the opposite gender. I come from a reality where everyone ACTS like the opposite gender. Boys in my reality act more like girls in your reality, and vice versa." You paused for a moment to then add, "I think."

Tiffany sighed and rubbed her entire head in fustration, "I desperately wish that this is just some kind of cruel and twisted joke formed out of some deep seated **** you have for me, but I've known you long enough to know that you're not capable of something like that. So the only other obvious answer for all this, is that you got hit in the head so hard, you've became completely delusional."

"Okay, look, Tiffany, I swear I'm telling the truth!" I tried to convince her, "Okay, how about this? Ask me something about yourself that only I would know!"

"How is that going to prove anything? You said you came from a different reality! All the stuff you know about me are probably going to be completely different than what I'm going to say!"

"...oh yeah, that's a good point..." I mumbled.

Why was that the first thing to pop into my head, anyway?

Movies. I blame movies and tv shows for planting that idea in my head.

Taking a deep breath, Tiffany calmed down and stood up, while reassuring you, "Look, John, stay right here. I'm gonna go make a few calls and then I'm gonna take you to the hospital again. I'm sure we'll work this out and get you back to normal."

"Tiffany, wait, come on!" I stood up to quickly follow after her, "You're not serious are you? I told you I'm not crazy! Why won't you believe me?!"

"Just sit still and let me help you, John." She told me, dialing up whoever she was calling.

Oh god, this can't be good. Getting thrown in the looney bin while on my first day in an alternate reality is not gonna be a good story to scrapbook about.

"Okay okay fine! Forget this whole thing! I made it all up to pull a prank on you!" I decided to spiel, running in front of her and giving a fake hearty laugh, "HA HA HA! Jokes on you! You fell for it, hook-line- and-sinker! My favorite gullible little cousin!"

She didn't reply back, turning away with a deathly serious look on her face as whoever she called picked up the phone, "Hello? Mom?"

Okay, that's it.

With quick precision, I took the phone out of her hand and ended the call before she could speak further.

"Hey! Give that back, John!" Tiffany demanded angrily, reaching for her phone.

"Tiffany, calm down and just listen to me for a second!" I pulled the phone back as far as I could away from her.

With the phone being too far, Tiffany decided to grab my wrist and pull my hand towards her instead. I was caught off guard by her upper body strength, as she was way stronger than I remembered her to be.

She actually managed to pull my hand up close to her face, before using her other hand to pry my fingers off, "John, you're not right in the head. I'm doing this to help you, please don't make me suffer by watching you act crazy like this."

Jesus Christ, what happened to the tomboy who could never beat me at arm wrestling, no matter how hard she tried? This girl...

She definitely isn't the same Tiffany.

Fighting back, I used my other hand to pull her's away from my own, grabbing her by the wrist just like she was doing to me.

She looked at her hand in shock, seeming surprised at my own strength. She must have come to the same conclusion as I just did.

We were lock in a tug of war with arms, pushing against each other while keeping the phone's reach away from the other.

"What is up with you?! You were never this strong before! You could barely carry your own luggage without getting winded, so how did you get so strong now all of the sudden?" She asked, staring at your arm in confusion. "You needed my help to open a jar of pickles just last week!"

"Exactly! Think about it! If I was so weak before, when did I get the time to build up muscle? It's physically impossible for me to get so much stronger in such short time. Can you explain that for me, Tiffany?!"

With a look of defiance, she resisted my attempt to convince her, "Just because you suddenly got more strength, doesn't mean that you're from a different reality! Besides, this is all coming from adrenaline, probably! You're just wearing yourself out the more you-"

Out of frustration, I decided to trip her up with my leg.

With a cry, I was able to break her balance and push her down on the floor, pinning both of her arms while doing it.

I was on top of her, finally getting the upper hand.

She tried to push me off, but my weight and grip was too much for her. In the end, all of her struggling only managed to tire her out and cause her to heavily breathe in fatigue.

"You know you can't keep me pinned forever, John. I'm going to have to get up at some point." She told me, taking deep breathes when she can to regain her energy.

Getting up close to her face, I slowly asked, "What do I have to do to get you to believe me? How can I convince you to calm down and just hear me out? Are you really so **** to throw your own cousin under the bus and put me out of your life?"

She shook her head, "No, John! That's not what I'm doing! I just want you to get better and go back to normal! The doctors can-"

"Tiffany, do you realize what would happen to me if the doctors can't cure me? I have a lifetime of knowledge and history of a world that doesn't even exist here. When they come to the conclusion that I'm incurable and won't go back to normal, they're going to mark me as a lost cause and throw me in an insane asylum for the rest of my life. My entire life would be over."

Tiffany remained silent, mulling over my words in her head.

"Please." I pleaded with her, "You can help me, but you can't help if I'm in a cell."

I looked deep into her eyes, hoping, wishing, praying that my words have gotten through to her.

She seemed to stare back at me, her face relaxing as if she was getting lost in a trance.

Then she suddenly blushed and looked away from me, almost like she was embarassed.

What the hell does that mean?

"You're blushing." I stated simply.

"I... Um... No, I'm not." She stuttered, looking to her side instead of facing me.

"Yes, you are. You're practically glowing like a Christmas tree. Why are you blushing?"

"Look, I can't help it! You're on top of me and your face is too close!" Her voice managed to squeak mid-sentence.

Oh.

I guess this would be a pretty uncomfortable position then, in that case.

Thinking about it, if Tiffany back home and I were rough housing each other the same way and she managed to land on top of me like this, I would probably freak out a bit too. Most of all, I would be desperately trying to hide my bon-

....er.

Huh.

I leaned closer to observe how Tiffany reacted.

Feeling my breath against her cheek, she squirmed a bit to tilt her head further away as her blush continued to glow.

Okay, so, I think I know what's going on right now. Just like how I'm a closet pervert when it came to my own cousin, it seemed like the Tiffany in this reversed reality seemed to harbor a taboo crush on the other John Doe instead.

Thinking about it now, I guess it kinda made sense. Since all the girls in this reality were more like the boys from my original reality, that also probably meant they had more of the same traits, such as a general common perversion and lust of the opposite sex.

Wait, I just realized... Did Doctor Stacy try to sexually **** me? Did I just have sex with a sex offender in this world?

Let's see... Switch the genders around, and you get an older man seducing a young woman who was potentially under the effects of a concussion, even straight up lying about performing a nerve sensory check on her body as an excuse to cop a feel...

Welp, I'm probably going to lose some sleep over that, I think. Maybe.

Maybe not?

"Okay, I get it!" Tiffany shouted.

Huh, what? I got lost in my train of thought.

"I get it, I won't **** you to go back to the hospital anymore. I don't want to risk the chance of losing you, so just... Please get off of me." She mumbled.

She looked back up at me, clearly showing embarassment and guilt as her cheeks glowed red.

It took me a bit to register what she said, as I admired her face for a bit.

Even though she wasn't actually the Tiffany I got to know and love, she definitely looked exactly like her. Tiffany has never shown me a **** side to her before, so seeing this face was...

Well, it was kind of hot, I'm not going to lie.

Still, I snapped out of it and got off of her. Standing up, I reached out for her to take my hand.

She seemed hesitant to take it, but decided to do it anyway, helping herself up.

Seeing that she was calm now and probably won't go off to get the police the next opportunity she got, I trusted her enough to place her phone back in her hand.

She looked at the phone for a brief moment, before sighing and pocketing it away, much to my relief.

"Look, don't think that this means I believe you." Tiffany stated, "I'm just doing this to look out for you until you finally return to normal. I'm sure everything will be fine eventually, so I'll just wait until then."

"That's upsetting, but I guess I'll take it for the time being." I nodded with a smile.

"Sweet Mother Mary, please oh please don't make me regret this." She muttered silently to herself.

Talk about lack of faith. Sheesh.

If it was my own Tiffany, she wouldn't act like such a killjoy.