Finish packing and meet the boss.

Your mom drops a handful of pens into the cardboard box and turns to you. "Do you really want to go to a cookout with your mom and a bunch of office hens?"

"Sure, why not?" You take her hands and make eye contact. "If you're jealous about Vera, she is hot but she doesn't come close to you."

Elsie smiles graciously. "But you still want to do things with her, don't you?"

"Well yeah," you shrug. "If you're ok with me going after your friends."

"Kelly has said nothing but good things about you since you started sleeping with her, so I trust you to be a gentleman with Vera too. Anyway, that's all my stuff packed. Want to go find an empty meeting room or a broom closet we can duck into?"

That is exactly what you want to do. Leaving the box on the desk for now, you get out of the cubicle farm and start walking down a beige hallway. Before you can find a private room, door opens and a balding man joins you in the hall. "Elisa, there you are. Are you picking up your belongings, or have you reconsidered?"

"Sorry sir, but my decision is made. And I'm sorry I'm doing this so suddenly."

"Besides, I don't want my mom working at a place like this," you butt in.

"Wha- who are you? And what do you mean a place like this?" Elsie's boss looks like you just ruffled some feathers.

"We can discuss that in your office, if that's alright. Mom, will you find us a room and text me?"

"Um, alright son," she says, clearly confused, before you walk through the door her boss had just come out of. "Now do you mind explaining what you have against this company?" he asks as soon as the door is closed.

"Oh, I have nothig against the company itself," you say as you pull out a marker and write Ryan Ferro's Office of Sluts on the back of his door. "I just don't want my mom working here. You understand what I mean, right?"

The balding man coughs awkwardly. "Er, yes sir, I suppose I do."

"Great. While I'm here, I want to set some new company policies. Do you have like, a book or something that lists them all?"

He gives you a baffled look. "A book? Sir, it's all digital. I'd be happy to show you-"

"Forget it." You doubt writing on a digital document would work, at least it's not something you want to try right now. "I'll just write them on the door here."

Crouching under what you've already written, you start with the same "nobody can quit" stuff you gave the police. But you make the rest of the rules unique to this office. The gist of it is that you want business to continue as normal, and the employees will suppress their knowledge of who owns the place. However, the most attractive women of the office are to be supplied with slut training videos - plenty of those to be found online - which they will watch whenever they aren't performing their other duties. At the same time, they are to pull up some photos of you so they can imagine you as the male subject of their training videos.

You only add one exception to this rule. You want Vera to be herself the next time you meet her, so you forbid her colleagues from talking to her about their new tasks or about you. She will also block out her perception of what they're doing in their off time. Instead, she will tell herself they're just looking at perverted memes online and try to forget about it.

You're not at all sure you can affect people's mental states like this, but if they're unable to break the rule about quitting this might work too. Maybe you're getting reckless again, but you do have a horny mother to attend to. Speaking of, there comes the expected message: "Ryan, meet me in room 207. It's on the right if you keep going the way we were headed. ~XOXO MOM"