Finding Kiara Pt. 4

Kieran stood in front of the vanity, eyes fixed on his reflection in the mirror. His fingers trembled slightly as he stared at the array of makeup supplies scattered across the counter in front of him. The remnants of yesterday’s disastrous attempt at makeup lingered in his memory, and a knot tightened in his stomach. Today, he knew he had to do better—he couldn’t afford another failure. Celeste had been surprisingly lenient the day before, but that softness wouldn't last forever. If he messed this up again, he feared the consequences. He’d already been subjected to enough of her disapproval. And he didn’t want to test just how far that would go.

His outfit today was no less daunting. The message was clear—Celeste had told him explicitly that he needed to “dress nice” today. No crop tops or leggings, nothing that was “comfortable” or “casual.” The expectation was higher today. He had to look more refined, more polished. His stomach churned as he recalled the feel of the training bra from the day before. Even though it was meant to be hidden, it was impossible not to feel the tightness of it against his chest, the constant reminder of the transformation that had begun.

His mind raced. Celeste had made it clear yesterday that there was no turning back. This was the reality now. His days as Kieran were slowly slipping away, piece by piece.

Kieran’s hand reached for the training bra first—something he was still getting used to. It felt tight around his chest, strange and unnatural as he slipped it on, adjusting the straps as he peered into the mirror. The soft fabric pressed against him, the padding subtly shaping what was supposed to be there, but wasn’t. It was a strange feeling—almost suffocating in a way that made him uneasy, but he knew it was necessary. He wasn’t just transforming his appearance today. He was supposed to be becoming someone else entirely, and that meant doing everything right.

Next, he moved on to the blouse that he found. The fabric was soft, with a light floral pattern—something that screamed femininity in the most subtle way possible. The shirt had a loose, flowing cut, but still hugged his torso just enough to make it clear he had shape. The material clung to his skin as he buttoned it up, but Kieran couldn’t help feeling odd about how it fit. It felt elegant, yes, but also... unfamiliar. He struggled to make sure each button was done up properly, the fabric shifting awkwardly around his body as he moved. He wasn’t sure why, but he felt so exposed, so **** in it.

After that came the skirt. His stomach twisted as he picked it up, inspecting it before he slid it up over his hips. The skirt accentuated the little curves he now had, thanks to the padding. It came down to just above his knees, a conservative length, but still undeniably feminine. The fabric was soft to the touch, and Kieran had to admit, it looked good in the mirror. He turned to look at himself, trying to catch a glimpse of what Celeste might think. He knew that she would scrutinize everything—the way the skirt fell, the way it fit his hips, the way he stood.

He shifted uneasily as he reached for the stockings to wear under the skirt. He only came up with the idea to put them on because he knew he liked seeing stockings on girls, and that thought process made his stomach churn. They were sheer, with a delicate pattern of lace running up the sides. He hadn’t worn anything like this before. The leggings clung to his legs as he pulled them up, the fabric snug and almost suffocating in its tightness. He adjusted them carefully, making sure the lace patterns lined up just right, but again, the feel of it was strange. The leggings felt like a second skin, and the sensation made his heart race in a mix of discomfort and unfamiliarity.

Finally, the shoes—heels. The tall heels Celeste had told him to wear today. Kieran had been dreading this moment since he’d first laid eyes on them. They were elegant, yes—classy even—but they were also ridiculously tall. The heel was a good four inches, and when he slipped them on, his feet seemed to teeter unsteadily beneath him. He took a deep breath, trying to steady himself as he examined his legs in the mirror. The heels made his legs appear longer, more slender, but every movement felt unnatural. He took a few tentative steps, wobbling slightly as he tried to keep his balance. This wasn’t easy. It felt as though his feet weren’t made for these shoes.

With his outfit complete, Kieran turned to the makeup. He had memorized everything Celeste had taught him yesterday, or at least he thought he had. He knew what to do, or so he hoped.

He picked up the foundation first, squeezing out a small dollop onto his fingers. He started applying it to his face, and this time, things went much smoother. The foundation spread more evenly, though it wasn’t flawless—there were a few patches that needed more blending. He worked it into his skin with a sponge, making sure not to leave any obvious lines or streaks. It wasn’t perfect, but it was definitely better than yesterday.

Next, he moved on to the concealer. Celeste had been very clear about where to apply it: under the eyes to hide any darkness, on his chin to cover any imperfections, around his nose to diminish redness. He dabbed the concealer on gently, blending it in with the sponge. It worked well, though he could tell there were still some areas that needed more coverage. He added a little more, being careful not to overdo it, and was pleased to see it start to even out his complexion.

He moved on to the eyeshadow, selecting a soft, neutral beige shade for his eyelids. This was the one thing Celeste had emphasized—keeping it simple and natural. He applied the shadow smoothly, making sure it covered the entire lid. He added a slightly darker shade into the crease to give his eyes more depth, just like Celeste had instructed. It wasn’t as polished as Celeste’s, but it looked decent—soft, warm, and feminine without being overpowering.

Next came the eyeliner. He had gotten better at this, applying it with a steady hand along his top lash line. It wasn’t perfect, but it was thinner and cleaner than the previous attempt. He added a touch of mascara, carefully sweeping the wand through his lashes. This time, it went on without smudging, though his lashes still looked a little sparse. He blinked a few times, trying to make them look more voluminous.

Finally, he reached for the lipstick. He chose a soft pink shade this time, something subtle but feminine. He applied it carefully, taking his time to make sure the lines were crisp. It wasn’t quite as precise as Celeste’s, but it looked better than the previous day’s attempt. The shade suited his complexion, and his lips looked fuller without being too bold.

Kieran stood back and surveyed his reflection, letting out a long breath. His makeup was far from perfect, but it was... better. He had done better. He wasn’t sure if it was exactly what Celeste would want, but for now, he was satisfied with it. He couldn’t deny the quiet sense of accomplishment that washed over him as he looked at himself. It felt like progress, like he was one step closer to mastering this whole process.

He ran his fingers through his hair and adjusted his shirt, taking in the full picture. His heart fluttered nervously in his chest. The outfit fit better than he expected, and the makeup, while not perfect, was certainly an improvement. Still, he couldn’t shake the feeling that it wouldn’t be enough. Would Celeste approve? He stood there in silence, staring at the reflection in the mirror, wondering if today would finally meet her standards.

And just as he was about to take another step forward, he felt that familiar weight of uncertainty again.

The sharp, rhythmic click-clack of heels echoed through the hallway, the sound unfamiliar yet unmistakable. Kieran, now Kiara, slowly made his way out of the bedroom and into the living room. He felt every eye-catching step of the heels with each step, his legs uncomfortably stiff in the tightness of the fabric. His heart raced, not because of the heels, but because of what was waiting for him on the other side.

Celeste was lounging on the couch, her legs crossed and a soft smile curving her lips as she glanced up at him. The casual elegance of her appearance seemed effortless, a trait Kieran now envied. She wore a simple, tight-fitting blouse that clung just enough to her curves, paired with black, high-waisted skinny jeans. Her shoes were sleek ankle boots, and her makeup, though soft and natural, was perfect. It was the kind of look that seemed as if she could’ve walked off the pages of a magazine, yet it appeared entirely effortless, almost too easy.

Kieran shifted on his feet, adjusting his stance instinctively, though he wasn’t sure how much he was mimicking her just yet. He looked down at himself, feeling the tightness of the skirt and the unfamiliar weight of the heels beneath him. The outfit wasn’t something he would have chosen for himself—yet here he was, feeling like the person in the mirror wasn’t entirely him, but still far too real to ignore.

Celeste’s eyes twinkled as she watched him walk in. “Well, look at you,” she said with a small approving smile. “You cleaned up better than I expected.”

Kieran swallowed, suddenly nervous. “What do you think?” His voice was more tentative than he’d like, though he tried to make it sound as feminine as possible, as he’d been practicing yesterday with the voice lessons. The tone, the softening of his pitch, and the attempt to add more fluidity to his words—they were all deliberate, conscious decisions. He wanted to sound natural, to sound like Kiara.

Celeste tilted her head, her gaze traveling from his shoes to the top of his head, lingering thoughtfully on the details of his appearance. Her eyes softened with satisfaction. “I think it’s a step in the right direction, Kiara.” She leaned back into the couch, her voice steady and cool. “The makeup is much better today. Your outfit’s also pretty decent. I can work with this.”

Kieran’s heart skipped a beat. Her approval wasn’t exactly overflowing, but the fact that she said it was a “step in the right direction” was the kind of encouragement he hadn’t expected. After all, Celeste had been nothing short of exacting in every aspect of his transformation.

He smiled, though it was more out of relief than confidence. “Thanks.” His voice wavered, but he did his best to keep it steady.

Celeste stood up then, slowly making her way over to him. Her heels clicked softly against the floor as she approached. “We’re going out today,” she said casually, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

Kieran blinked, feeling his stomach drop. “Wait, what?” His voice had a slight crack to it, betraying his shock. “You mean... out-out? Like, out in public?”

Celeste raised an eyebrow, her lips curling into a knowing smile. “Of course. You can’t expect to stay hidden forever. The world won’t wait for you to get comfortable in your skin, Kiara. The longer you stay in here, the harder it’ll be to adjust when it’s time to face the real world.” She paused, walking past him to grab her purse off the counter. “We’re going to get coffee at the café down the street. Nothing too grand, but it’s a necessary learning step. You’re not going to get anywhere by sitting around.”

Kieran felt the weight of those words settle on him like a lead blanket. A sudden rush of nerves flooded his chest, his heart beginning to pound. He could feel the tightness in his throat as his breathing quickened. Going out in public—walking around as Kiara—wasn’t something he’d prepared for, not yet. It was one thing to practice in the safety of the apartment with Celeste; it was another to be seen by strangers, judged by passersby. He wasn’t ready, not yet. His hands fidgeted nervously with the hem of his skirt, the soft fabric doing nothing to quell the storm of anxiety brewing inside him.

“I... I don’t know if I can,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. “It’s just—I don’t know if I’m ready for people to see me like this.”

Celeste’s expression softened, though her eyes were still filled with that calculating edge. She studied him for a moment, then gave him a small, reassuring smile. “You’ll never feel ready. You just have to do it. It’s the only way to get used to it.”

She extended her hand to him, her fingers curling slightly. “Come on, Kiara. You look beautiful. You’ve got this.”

Her words should have been encouraging, but the reality of the situation hit him like a ton of bricks. Beautiful. The word swirled in his head as he stood frozen in place, his mind grappling with the tension between wanting to believe her and the nagging doubt that had taken root in his chest. He didn’t feel beautiful. Not like this. Not with the strangeness of his clothes, the discomfort of the training bra, or the feeling of foreign femininity pressing into every fiber of his being.

He glanced down at himself again. The outfit, though carefully chosen, was still so... foreign. His legs felt exposed in the skirt, his body almost too aware of every little shift, every movement, as if the very act of walking was somehow exaggerated, too deliberate. The heels made his feet ache with each step, and the makeup, though better than before, still felt heavy, like a mask he couldn’t fully slip into.

Yet, despite all of that, there was a flicker of something in him. A small, barely-there sense of pride that Celeste had recognized his effort. She wasn’t angry, she wasn’t frustrated. She was pleased, even if her approval was more reserved than he would have liked.

“Okay,” he said finally, his voice barely above a murmur. “I’ll go. But just... don’t make it too long, okay?”

Celeste chuckled softly, a sound that was almost too sweet to be genuine. “Of course, we’ll keep it short. But this is part of your journey, Kiara. This is how you start living the life you’re meant to lead.”

Her words felt like a promise, an unspoken agreement that this, whatever this was, was no longer something he could run away from. He had **** now but to follow through. There was no turning back.

He let out a long breath and nodded. His heels clicked once more as he moved toward the door, walking out of the apartment behind Celeste. The cool air of the outside world hit him as the door swung open, and suddenly, the weight of everything he had been avoiding came crashing down. This wasn’t just about dressing a certain way or walking differently. This was about existing in the world as someone else.

Kiara.

The name echoed in his head, and he swallowed hard. This was it. This was the beginning of whatever lay ahead. There was no hiding anymore. The world would see him. And he had **** but to step into it.

As the door closed softly behind him, he followed Celeste out into the unknown.