Figuring Things Out

"So... how did you feel watching us?" I asked Wanda, trying to break the awkward silence

"I'm.. Not sure. Part of me was turned on, part of me felt like I should be jealous, or maybe I was. But it also seemed kind of scary to be treated like that, like I wanted to be in her place, but I'm too afraid to do it, y'know?"

"So you like seeing me dominate and use other girls, and you want to please me as well, but you're afraid you can't handle it?"

"Yeah, I guess so. I want to do those things for you too, but it's.. a lot. I'm still not really... Comfortable.. with that stuff." She said looking down at the floor

"I understand, and listen; you don't have to treat me like Jean does, okay? Our relationship is built on the power I have over her. I don't want that for you, I want a relationship built on love, on our commitment to each other. I'll go as slow as you need me to."

She smiled warmly "Thank you, Connor. Now did you want to talk about something a little bit lighter?"

"Ok, what's your class schedule?"

"I have Math, Physics, English and History. Oh! And the professor said I can move in with Jean, to prevent an accident with Rogue."

"Right, your powers aren't very easy to control either, are they?" I know she has trouble with them, but I'm not really sure of the scope

"Nope. I need to be balanced emotionally if I want to use them properly, losing control of my emotions means losing control of my powers. You know how easily that can get out of hand."

"Oh yeah, recipe for disaster. And your dad thought the best solution was to just.. disappear?"

"Pretty much, although I recall him being needlessly hurtful, I might be remembering it a bit wrong from all the trauma. Seriously, thanks for helping me work through all that. Half a lifetime of doctors tried to help me all kinds of different ways, but what I needed all along was you." She's so sweet I can hardly take it.

"Aww c'mon, it wasn't much, you did most of the work." I blushed

"Whatever you say, Connor. So, what have you been reading?" She walked over to my desk, looking at my book. "Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Have you been reading this for me?"

"Yes? Honestly, I didn't get through most of it until the latter half of our sessions, but I felt like I had to at least try to educate myself. On the bright side, the knowledge will probably come in handy again in the future." I admitted

She walked backed over, leaning forward to look me in the eyes.

"Thank you." She planted a kiss on my unsuspecting lips, making me blush again.

"... Yeah, anytime."

"Speaking of time, isn't lunch soon?"

"Oh, yeah. We should get going." I said, thankful for the distraction

Absent-mindedly I walked the now familiar path to the dining room. I sat where I always do and Wanda sat next to me. Jean was nowhere in sight, but I heard her just the same.

"Did you have fun without me?"

Depends on your definition, I guess.

"Well don't keep me waiting."

Technically we're waiting for you in the dining room.

"Okay, you win. Please tell me what happened?"

Not much honestly, we talked about our boundaries and stuff. And Wanda gave me a kiss.

"That's it? I was half convinced you'd at least get a blowjob by now."

Weren't you the one who said to go at our own pace?

"I said that to her, because she's skittish. So far, 'your pace' means facefucking in four days max."

Yeah, well, I'll go as slow as I need to with Wanda. Besides... It's only been two days.

"Don't want to lose your streak?"

Shut up

Finally Jean and Scott arrived, Hank and the professor not far behind. Kitty eventually entered the room, stopping to give me a dirty look, before walking through the table to sit with Kurt. She must be jealous of Wanda. As I was eating, Jean put her hand on my thigh.

"Do you want me to break up with Scott for you?" The sudden question almost made me **** on my food.

Why are you bringing this up now?

"You admitted you love me, and you know very well how much I love you, I'm just asking to drop the act. You've ruined Scott for me. I still respect and care about him, but the dedication and attraction is gone. Ever since I met you I just can't see him the same way, especially when I compare him to you. You stole me away from him, and you know it."

You.. Don't love him anymore?

"Not romantically, and certainly not sexually, no."

Holy shit, I'm so sorry.

"Why should you be sorry?"

I didn't think it would go this far, I mean I never told you to stop loving Scott, I never meant to take it that far.

"Then it sounds like you didn't. This one's all me. Don't beat yourself up over ruining a three month relationship, we weren't that serious to begin with. You showed me how to really enjoy myself, and I accepted you wholeheartedly."

Yeah but even then, I implanted the idea that you couldn't get sexual with Scott. I pushed you away from him.

"And? It would have been worse if I was fucking Scott behind your back. You've been cucking Scott since the day you met him, why do you care?"

I– I'm... I think I just feel bad. Until you brought him up, I kind of forgot you were dating Scott, you were just my woman. Then you reminded me by saying you want to break up with him. It just made me realize he didn't do anything to deserve that kind of slight. If you think it's best to break up with Scott, then go ahead, but it's not like you and I can start going out or anything. It would be too suspicious, even if I wasn't dating Wanda now.

"Well I know that, silly. I just want you to stop acting like you did something wrong taking me for yourself, like it was a mistake to get involved with me. I've been happier these past weeks than I ever have been. Partly from you fucking me good and hard, but also because of the freedom and purpose I have now. You made my life better, and if that comes at the cost of stepping away from Scott, I'm happy to make that trade."

Alright you made your point. But promise me this; whether you break up with him or not, don't do it for me, do what you think is best for you.

By now I'd finished my waffles, and I was just picking at crumbs. Wanda noticed my lack of attention, poking me in the arm.

"You okay? You've been staring at your plate for two minutes."

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a little bit distracted."

She cleaned up and left, myself doing the same shortly after. I went to my room and, having nothing better to do, went back to reading. After a little while, a knock at my door brought me back to reality.

"Come in, Wanda."

"How did you know it was me?" She said as she took a seat on my bed

"You– I... Just a hunch, I guess?" How did I know?

"Well, whatever. What was going on with you at lunch? You were totally zoned out."

"Oh sorry, I was taking with Jean. Y'know, telepathically? Didn't mean to be rude but she contacted me before she was even in the room."

"Well what were you taking about?"

"She asked what happened after she left this morning, and then she asked me if she should break up with Scott."

"Oh, I didn't even know they were dating." She said surprised

"They might not be for much longer."

"Wait, how did you respond?"

"I told her to do what she felt was right, but it felt like she wanted to hear that they should break up. She said I ruined her view of Scott, that whenever she tries to think of him as a lover, she compares him to me and he doesn't measure up. Basically I mean too much to her for dating Scott to mean anything."

She seemed to perk up halfway through my explanation, her eyes lighting up as her breath became audible.

"What else?" She asked, leaning closer to me

"She said I stole her away from Scott, and that I shouldn't feel bad for him. She told me I've given her freedom and purpose she never had before, that a few weeks with me was worth more than all her months with Scott."

"Oh Connor, you're so bad..." Wanda spoke in a sultry voice I hadn't heard from her before. She leaned further, pulling my chair over to her. "You push all the right buttons, and you don't even know it..."

Lust was clear in her eyes, but equally enthralling was the small smile creeping it's way across her warm cheeks. Our lips met, and the whole world seemed to fall away. It was almost like our first kiss, only more honest, more passionate. There was no hesitation, no doubt, only desire and action. Wanda explored my body with her hands as I caressed her waist, fully enjoying the feeling of her smooth skin underneath my fingers. Her digits roamed lower while mine went further up. She made no move to stop me as I stroked her torso, but when I touched her bra, she pulled back suddenly.

"What's wrong?" I asked

"N–nothing." She stated, closing the distance

I kissed her again, feeling across her back, learning the shape of her body. When I brought my hands back to her chest, she flinched. Any time I touched a little too close to her breast, she'd tense up in fear? for a second before trying to act like nothing happened. I tried to ignore it, but I couldn't. I cupped one of her boobs and she pulled away again, just as sharply.

"Sorry.." She said, motioning as if to continue making out.

"I.. think we should stop. It's pretty clear I'm pushing your boundaries, and I don't want to continue if you aren't completely comfortable." I said, trying not to ruin things

"No no, I'm completely fine. Here, see?" She grabbed my hand and placed it directly on her breast.

I could see the cracks in her fake smile, something I'd seen a few times already. The way her eye twitched on contact, how her brows didn't move normally, and the lack of heart behind it. It wasn't my fault, but she was clearly trying not to disappoint me.

"Look Wanda, it's fine to have your reservations about me, I get it. We haven't known each other that long and—"

"It's not that! It's not you! It's me... I'm sorry, I didn't want you thinking I'm some kind of naive girl who's scared of her own body. I want to be more intimate with you, I just can't help it, okay?"

"You know it's okay, Wanda. I'll take things slow, getting to kiss your sweet lips and look into your beautiful eyes is plenty enough for me."

"Thank you..." All the tension left her face

... And she's in a trance. I thought I had a better handle on it now? And I think that's the quickest I've seen her go under. Must be from the emotions.

"Can you hear me, Wanda?"

"Yes.."

"When I say your full name, you will awaken from this trance, alright?"

"Alright.."

I closed my eyes, leaning in closer to kiss her cherry lips one more time.

"I love you, Wanda Maximoff."

She seemed quite surprised, squeezing her thighs together unconsciously. When she saw me looking, she abruptly stopped.

"I.. need some alone time." She said quickly, standing up. "Oh, and I love you too!" She left in a hurry.

Did I do something wrong? Maybe she's just embarrassed? She was shifting.. and the way her eyes widened after awakening... I bet she's going to let off some steam. I could use another draining today as well. I'll have to find Kitty later, or maybe Rogue?

Despite my plans I had resolved to finish at least one textbook by the end of the day, and so I continued through chapter after chapter of PTSD study and analysis, finally finishing it after another two hours. While weighing my options between taking a break and starting my crusade on Bipolar Disorder, the last of my borrowed books, my door opened.

"Connor! Wie geht's?"

"Ich bin gut, und du?"

"Mir geht es auch sehr gut."

"Glad to hear it. I've actually been meaning to talk to you about something."

"Oh ja, what is it?"