Ever-growing temptations

As I approached my flat, I couldn't stop thinking about everything that had happened since last night. Now that I was finally myself again, I realized just how much I let these new instincts take me over today... It honestly scared me now that I had a clearer mind to think about it. Had Claire not been with me, I would without a doubt have had a far harder time leaving Sarah. I truly lost myself in her, the overwhelming bliss I felt still vividly present in my mind... alongside the desire to feel it again. This skinwalker part of me wished nothing more than to backtrack and get back inside her skin, so that I could be my smart and beautiful ex-girlfriend again.

I grit my teeth and shook my head. I won't... I can't do that to her... or anyone else...

I didn't want to use these powers again, it was too terrifying...

When I entered my flat, Claire was waiting for me, her arms crossed.

"What do you have to say for your defense this time?"

She was clearly annoyed, and rightfully so. It was the second time in just a few days that I missed her calls and messages, after all.

"I... drank too much last night. I forgot to charge my phone, and only noticed it after leaving Sarah's flat. Sorry..."

She sighed. "Right after you promised me you wouldn't do that again..."

"I know, I'm sorry..."

She smiled slightly. "But well, I'm glad you enjoyed your time with her. You look way better than yesterday."

"Thanks. I should start getting ready for work." I replied, plugging my phone to charge it more.

"Want me to make you a coffee before you leave?"

"Why not, thank you."

I went to my room and dropped my bag before taking a shower. In the mirror, I noticed how healthy I seemed compared to yesterday. My skin looked better than it did usually, even. Although, instead of making me happy, it served as another reminder of my condition and the sword of Damocles floating above my life, ready to shatter my very own identity in the near future. The only solace I found was that these impulses to wear someone seemed to have calmed down and the unnatural cold had vanished for the time being. Physically, I was fine. Mentally, though, I was a mess...

The conversation with Dahlia from yesterday echoed in my mind. Can I really tell Claire...? Especially after what happened...? Or should I leave her...?

After losing control of myself like this, I was even more scared of how she'd react... The blackout, and then me losing myself in Sarah's skin... I absolutely didn't want to hurt Claire by accident, like I did with Sarah...

The shower really didn't help clear my mind much. I grabbed the cup of coffee that Claire has prepared for me and got ready for work. I didn't want to think about skinwalkers for the time being, I just wanted to try clinging onto my life for a bit longer.

Once I was done, I said goodbyes to Claire and went to the bar, apologizing again to my boss for my absence yesterday. I was very lucky that he was so understanding and chill. I sat down and waited for the clients to arrive. Some regulars quickly showed up, happily greeting me. I served them their drinks and food like I usually did, following my routine as if nothing happened, or well, almost as if nothing happened...

Among the regulars were a group of college girls who always came this day of the week, and I couldn't stop feeling this curious desire to try to become them... It wasn't as intense as when I skinned Sarah, as my skinwalker side seemed satiated for the time being, but my mind was still running wild. I was imagining myself as the cute and easygoing brunette, the tall and quieter redhead, or the tan athletic one who always drank a lot, wondering how it'd be like to be part of this friends group, slipping inside one of their skins and playing their role, the others unaware that their friend has been replaced by a stranger.

Stop that... I won't skin anyone...

It was so hard to keep a straight face in these circumstances, but I did my best. After a few hours, I was surprised to see that the goth girl from two nights ago walked in. She was sporting a pair of tight leather pants, a spiked leather jacket covering a shirt with what looked like the logo of a black metal band, and a pair of Docs. She had her guitar case with her again.

She's so beautiful...

"G-good evening. What can I do for you?" I asked, trying to hide my blush as she sat in front of the counter.

"May I have a Tequila Sunrise?" She replied, opening the same book I saw her write in two nights ago.

"Right away." I quickly prepared one and served it to her. "Here you go, I hope you'll enjoy it."

"I'm sure I will."

She started to drink, but her gaze was lingering on me. Even while taking care of other people, I could feel her glancing at me from time to time. She was taking notes in her notebook, and often observed her surroundings.

"Are you looking for something?" I asked when I got a bit of free time.

She shook her head. "No, it's just a habit of mine. I often look around, probably due to ADHD."

"I see. I really like your style, it's very stylish."

She giggled. "Thank you, I like to stand out."

"Do you listen to metal?"

"Yeah, mainly. I'm Aurora, by the way. And you?" She said, smiling.

She was even more stunning when she smiled.

"I-I'm Edward. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise." She checked her watch and sighed. "I'm sorry, but I'll have to interrupt our discussion here. Maybe we can talk more tomorrow?"

"I'd like that. Have a good evening, and be careful out there."

She chuckled. "I will, don't worry about that."

She paid for the drink, grabbed her guitar case, and left. She became the new target of the fantasies running wild in my mind, as I imagined how it'd be like to have her beautiful body and become a hot goth girl.

Aurora... That's a nice name.

After this, the rest of the night went fairly well. I returned home after my shift ended, trying not to make too much noise in case Claire was asleep. She wasn't, though, as I heard the TV in the living room.

"How many times do I need to tell you to stop playing games so late?" I sighed.

"I have a good reason this time." She replied, pausing her game and smiling at me.

"Hmm?"

"I was waiting for you. You had me worried twice already this week alone."

"Again, I'm sorry about that. But I'm here now, so you can save and go to bed."

"Yes Mom." She said with a teasing smile.

I was pretty tired, so I quickly went to my room to sleep after wishing Claire a good night. I laid on the bed, my eyes closed, my breath slow. What happened since last night felt like a dream I only woke up from after removing Sarah. Even if part of me was ashamed, I was getting aroused remembering how wonderful it felt when I masturbated as her... I started jerking off, but it just didn't feel the same as a man, it was almost... disappointing...

Fuck, I need to forget about it... Somehow.

After quenching my sexual urges as best I could, I fell asleep, wondering how hard it'd be to return to a normal life after that.

I had a nice dream in which I was Sarah, spending another day as her and teaching a group of college students. It was nothing special, but it brought me so much satisfaction, Sarah made teaching look so fun and enjoyable.

The next day, I woke up fairly late. I ate breakfast with Claire and left to do some exercises. I jogged, stretched, and did some pull-ups using the pole they installed in a nearby park. Sport was usually a good way for me to clear my mind, but as lunch approached, all I could think of was how Sarah's date with Michael was going. My jealousy was resurfacing from imagining the two of them together, even if I tried to tone it down.

It's her life... We broke up, she's allowed to see someone else...

I stopped, unable to focus on my workout anymore, and went back home to grab something to eat. Claire and I played some games during the afternoon, allowing me to momentarily stop thinking about Sarah, until it was time for me to get ready for work.

It was a busy night, normal for a Saturday. Lots of students and salarymen were enjoying the weekend and getting wasted. And lots of people meant lots of opportunity for my skinwalker side to pester me with these desires every time my eyes landed on women I found attractive...

It only got worse when Aurora showed up again, wearing an outfit similar to the one she had last night, still with her guitar case on her shoulder.

"Good evening, Edward." She said with a smile as she sat in front of the counter again.

"Good evening, Aurora. What would you like tonight?"

"Same as last night, please."

I quickly served her, but wasn't able to converse with her just yet as I had other clients to tend to. It took a while before things calmed down enough for me to take a break. Aurora kept glancing at me like she did last night.

Before I could rest, though, I saw a drunken man starting to get too touchy with a woman who clearly didn't consent to it, and I quickly moved to intervene.

"She asked you to leave her alone. Leave this bar right now before I call the police." I declared as I stood in between the man and the poor woman.

He grumbled something that sounded like an insult and tried to push me. He was far too weak to make me move, and it frustrated him. He threw a punch at me next, one I had no problem dodging. I grabbed his arm and immobilized him while someone else called the police. Some officers arrived shortly after and took him into custody. The woman thanked me and went back home after I called a cab for her.

"Are you alright?" Aurora asked as I returned behind the counter.

"I am. I dealt with people far worse than him."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Anyway, do you want something else to drink or eat?"

"Hmm, maybe some mozzarella sticks. I'm curious, is this a regular occurrence here?"

I shook my head as I started preparing her food. "Not really, no. I sometimes have to deal with drunk people causing a scene or harassing women. Even had to deal with an asshole who tried to spike a girl's drink once..."

My mood soured a little as I told this, as it was how I met Sarah...

"What's wrong, Edward?" Aurora asked, noticing it.

"Oh, sorry, I just... have a lot on my mind right now."

"Would you like to talk about it? I can be a good listener."

I wondered. Maybe talking about my issues to a stranger would help, even if I would obviously not reveal my true circumstances to her. I did lend an ear to a couple of depressed clients in the past, I knew how much having someone to talk to could help. But I was also afraid of getting closer to someone, especially after what happened with Sarah. I was afraid of losing control again...