Entry One - Jenny, Live Subject Attempt #1 [Field]

"It's rolling, right? Okay. Yes, yes, okay, okay, sorry! I was just checking.

"Ahem, hello audience! As you can see, we are in the wonderful outdoors of [redacted], [redacted], here, and with my wonderful assistant Virginia behind the camera, well, you might as well call us the dynamic duo! Haha! Beat that, Darwin-Wallace! Anyways.

"Let's go down this street here; a humble little coffee shop sits just at the corner, and if we're lucky, we might have a fresh little specimen on our hands."

One slide swipe later.

"Watch the twig Virginia.

"Ahha, hello there, audience! And, as you can see, before us lies the unwitting subject.

"The latest mouse to fall trap to our, er, traps. Our first specimen and inevitable-soon-to-be ! The unwittingly poor, innocent, helpless victim to the pending painless alteration procedures that will wipe her mind of all natural processes of willpower and break all laws of science themselves for the very gratification of me, the archetypal pale-skinned male oppressor of the attractively ! Behold: Girl-On-Chair! Hah! Hahahahahahaa!

"Come on Virginia."

Another slide-swipe later, after what sounds like a muted "Ow" and a sudden cut.

(We shall revert to the third person to convey the proceeding events.)

After walking up to her and introducing themselves, Motpu (short for Master of the Perceivable Universe) and Virginia found out the girl's name was Jenny. She seemed slightly uncomfortable at the sight of the two individuals in dumpy white lab coats and an old-fashioned camcorder being pointed at her.

"Um, so.... what's this about a scientific research study again?" the girl anxiously moves up in her chair. It causes a creak.

Motpu, however, is quick to quell her worries. "Oh, Jessie, there's no need to be concerned! We are, indeed, just purveyors, no, arduous champions of the human will. We simply seek to enlighten our viewers -- and, thus, the world -- with our principles, and the undeniable truths they determine!"

Jenny looks at the camera, then at the silent, slim young woman behind it. Correction: she tries to. Her face is completely obstructed by that small device, somehow. "I... see."

Meanwhile, Motpu has set down and peered into the bulky bag Virgnia had brought with her. "Let's see here... what shall we tinker with today..." Eventually his eyes catch on to something. "A-ha!"

When he comes back up, he is clutching a large white gun. If it weren't for its wide barrel and shiny sheen it might be easily mistaken for an rifle. Or water gun. Jenny isn't amused.

"Wha--what is that?" She looks with incredulity from the gun to Motpu and back. "And what are you carrying that around for?"

Adjusting some settings on the user window, Motpu curses at how small the dimensions ended up being. He notes this for later. "There we go." He finishes then carefully, he points the gun at Jenny. "Alright Jenny. Now all we need you to do is hold still, and take deep, homeostatic breaths."

"What the hell is going on here!?"

"Oh, by Halley's comet!"

A plump man emerges from the cafe interior. His hands are on his hips, and his face is wrinkled in dissatisfaction at what he sees. Motpu attempts pacification.

"Please, sir, this is none of your business!"

This, however, only seems to further anger the man.

"Like hell this isn't!" He points at a slate clipped to his shirt, which is a clearly uniformed outfit. "I'm the gotdamn owner of this establishment fruitcake!"

"Someone call the cops!" Jenny, at this point, chooses to take action and jumps up from the chair. She grabs her coffee cup and throws the fluid contents all over the Psychosocial Warping Quantifier. Before Motpu can avoid it, the device buzzes and makes unintelligible beeping noises.

"No!" Motpu looks to Jenny at horror. "What have you done!"

"Get out of here, girl! I'll take care of this goon." The owner of the shop approaches Motup and seizes the PWQ, trying to wrestle it out of Motpu's hands. During their struggle, Jenny catches the attention of a pair of patrolling police officers, pointing towards the unfolding crisis. Just as they begin running over and one of the officers speaks into a wave-emitting sonic device attached to his breast, however, Motpu presses and release the primary trigger. This shoots a flash of energy at the cafe owner, and before he could duck, it hits him. Still recovering from the altercation, Motpu whirls around in search of the owner only to hear a distinct "baaaa-aaa" below.

He narrows his eyes. "Is that a lamb?"

"Baaaa-aaa," replies the lamb. Motpu blinks. When he realizes the owner is nowhere to be found, he snaps his fingers.

"Dognabbit! Virginia," he grabs the lamb and tucks it under his armpit as it wriggles uncomfortably at his side. "we're going! Enslavement compromised!"

As they run off into the bushes the officers trail them from behind and demand them to stop. The one on the right is muttering something about black sorcery. Virginia trips over a pothole, and nearly drops the camera, only for Motpu to pick her up and take out a small round object with a blinking light in the middle.

"A pokeball?" Jenny looks to the officers. They shrug. The trio steps forward.

"See you on the other side of the cortex, everyone!" Motpu presses against the light in the middle of the object, which releases a small series of residual sparks. The officers push Jenny back and get the crowd forming outside the cafe to duck. Then Motpu throws it at the ground, unleashing a litany of billowing smoke.

Officer one slowly uncovers his mouth. "A... smokebomb?"

The two turn to look at each other at the same time, an expression of perplexity adorning their features. "Hey don't look at me, Marco. I'm just as confused as you." Then the two stand up and begin re-stabilizing the situation as they radio the events that had transpired in.

Meanwhile, the two lab-coated silhouettes disappear into the afternoon alleys, a faint "baa" still audible in the distance.

"Virginia! Where is the scooper! You know, the one that comes with the brooms?"

"Are you referring to the dust pan, sir?"

"Yes! That, where is it?"

"It disintegrated in your reality relativizing attempt a few months ago."

"Crap!"

"Is it the lamb's fecal droppings again, sir?"

"Yes! Yes it is!"

"Would a pair of gloves be sufficient?"

"Are you crazy? I don't want to touch it! Or be anywhere near it! And besides I already have gloves on. I change them every hour, remember?" Pause. "Do you still have that reality relativizer at hand, Virginia?"

"Would you like it?"

"Yes."

"Right away, sir."

"And hurry it up, if you don't mind. He seems to be looking at me strang -- AGHHH, it's urinating, it's urinating on my leg!! OH GOD it's DARK and COLD, and yet horrifically warm in the same time! Shoo! Scat! Virginiiiaa! Ahhhgh! Requesting an immediate quarantine of the area, stat!!"