Enchanted Stress Balls

So I'm sitting at my favorite table at Cassandra's Inn enjoying a Shepard's pie and a few pints of ale and this asshole knight from House Nakatoma shows up and starts picking on poor Edward . Ed is shall we say a little slow. On top of that he's crippled.

It's situations like this that I'm glad I have my testicle shaped stress balls that I personally enchanted. I can be anywhere and just think about my intended target, give the balls a squeeze and whatever dickhead I'm thinking of will get a pair of rather sore nuts.

So I take the balls out of my satchel and I start off by giving the left ball just a little pinch. Cassandra's isn't that busy right now so I can hear him clearly." Hey you stupid hunchback fuck! Fetch me more ale! Hu..aht." He shifts in his seat from the discomfort. Time to pinch the right ball." Oh ag." I giggle as he fidgets in his seat as I lightly pinch the balls. With one hand I take a drink of my mug of ale and with the other I repeatedly flick each nut with my fingers.

" Oww. Uah. Hoo." He's really feeling it now. Cassandra comes out from the kitchen. " Is everything alright Sir Knight?" I take my fork and poke the balls that I'm holding under the table." Fi..ne! I'm just...Ahh! Never mind! Just get me more drink woman!" She pours him some more ale with a quizzical look on her face.

I leave him alone for a few minutes as I eat my shepherd's pie and take a swig of ale and he seems to relax for a moment. He doesn't relax for long however as I'm back to my tricks. While holding the stress balls under the table I give them a hearty squeeze." Oooff! " Cassandra and Ed share a confused look then watch as Sir Asshole the knight bends over the table as his hands grab his jewels as I squeeze then relax, squeeze then relax repeatedly. " Auff! Aaghh! Oowwhh! Eeeii!"

Now Cassandra is no fool. She knows Sir Fuckface has been giving Ed a bad time and she knows I'm a mage. She puts two and Two together and knows I'm up to something. She glances my way and I give her a wink as I dig my fingertips in and really give the balls a hard squeeze and I don't let go. " AAAGG! mY BaLlS!!"

Suddenly he falls out of his chair and the few other patrons out for a meal and some drink watch and laugh as this big bad knight who was giving Ed a hard time writhes on the floor. His armor clanking as he rolls around holding his nuts.

That's when I put the stress balls on the floor and grind the heel of my sandal on them like I'm stepping on a bug. At this point even Ed is laughing his ass off. The knight however is in such excruciating pain that he can't even make a sound.

I pick up my stress balls and discreetly put them back in my satchel as three fellas who were sitting at the bar pick the knight up and carry him outside. After that I don't know what happened to him.

After all the commotion dies down Cassandra sits down across from me at my table with a grin." Akari..Akari what kind of mischief was that."

"Why whatever do you mean Cassandra? I'm just as confused as everyone else. One minute he's picking on poor Ed and the next he's carrying on about his testicles. I'm completely innocent. I swear."

She's not buying it." Uh huh, your dinner is on the house tonight. Thank you Akari for a rather entertaining evening."

With that I finish my meal then head back to the castle. Score one for House Segura.