ENF-089 - BEADS

Item #: ENF-089
Object Class: Godiva

Containment Procedures: ENF-089 is currently in the possession of Dr. Blithe. This is a highly undesirable state of affairs. Foundation staff are required to do anything in their power to get ENF-089 away from Dr. Blithe and convey it to a secure storage unit in Dr. Sharpe's office. This directive overrides all other Foundation protocols.

Description: ENF-089 is a string of green and purple plastic beads retrieved from a New Orleans Mardi Gras party in 1993. It works differently depending on who's holding it.

As long as ENF-089 is held by a man, any woman who sees it will become obsessed with it. It will appear infinitely valuable to her, and she will be willing to take any action required to convince ENF-089's holder to give it to her. If persuasion fails, she may try stealing it. Normally, however, her first course of action will be to inform ENF-089's holder that she's willing to do absolutely anything he wants in exchange for the beads.

As long as ENF-089 is held by a woman, it will appear completely worthless and mildly repulsive to her and all other women. She will be unable to remember why she ever found the thing appealing, and will seek to pass it off to a new owner as quickly as possible. Normally, she will simply hand it over to the closest person. If they happen to be a man, she will immediately find the object desirable again.

Any course of action taken by a woman under the influence of ENF-089, with the intent of getting her hands on the beads, will have the exact same emotional effect that it would under normal circumstances. ENF-089 in no way protects women from the humiliation that comes naturally when degrading oneself for a string of plastic beads. It simply makes her feel the beads are worth it.

In theory, ENF-089 could be destroyed by a man. In practice, no man has ever chosen to do this.

Addendum 089-001: Alright, Angela, if it means so much to you, you can have your precious beads. I have plenty of other toys to keep me occupied. Just hop around the office for half an hour this morning in your bra and panties, singing a medley of Disney songs, and they're all yours.

Addendum 089-002: Update to containment procedures. There is no further need for any special protocol regarded ENF-089. It's unclear that they should even be in Foundation custody at all. Handing them back to Dr. Blithe for further research.

Addendum 089-003: An Artemis containment team has been dispatched to retrieve the beads from Dr. Blithe's office.

Addendum 089-004: Don't worry, girls, I know when I'm beat. The beads are all yours. Just form a naked human pyramid in the cafeteria, with Officer Song on top, and I'll be along in a while to hand them over. After I pinch all your bottoms, of course.

Addendum 089-005: The beads have been returned to Dr. Blithe. It is strongly recommended that Dr. Blithe be declared permanent custodian of the beads.

Addendum 089-006: Ignore previous addendum.

Addendum 089-007: Well, Angela, if you insist, I could use a new research assistant. I'm sure the uniform requirements won't be a problem for you. Just a couple of weeks of obedient servitude and I'll be happy to let you have the beads.

Addendum 089-08: Ignore Addendum 089-006. Addendum 089-005 is officially reinstated.

Addendum 089-09: Ignore previous addendum. Ignore any further addendums which in any way proclaim it acceptable for Dr. Blithe to hold custody of the beads. The Foundation's original policy remains in ****. This addendum is not to be ignored.

Addendum 089-10: Let's settle this once and for all. April Fools' Day is coming up. I'll hand the beads over to the Foundation staff member who's done the single most embarrassing thing by the end of the month. Points for creativity. However, photographic proof may be required.

Addendum 089-11: Honorable mention to Officer Song for running across Tokyo in nothing but bunny ears, with very rude messages scribbled on her breasts in Japanese, but I think the winner has to be Dr. Cifuentes. Attending your high school bully's birthday party with no clothes on was truly inspired, and hiring a professional cameraman to follow you around all day and upload the footage to Youtube was a nice touch. Isn't it sweet how she married that boy you had a crush on?

Addendum 089-12: Ignore Addendum 089-09. Ignore directive that Addendum 089-09 is not to be ignored. This addendum is not to be ignored. Ignore directives to ignore previous directive.

Addendum 089-13: Ignore last directive of previous addendum. Ignore second-to-last directive of previous addendum. Ignore previous addendum.

Addendum 089-14: Angela, you can have the beads once you've shown one hundred people your pussy. In real life, no pictures, and they have to get a good long look. I'll leave the details up to you.