ENF-019 - PIXIES

Item #: ENF-019
Object Class: Godiva

Containment Procedures: ENF-019's enclosure should be well-supplied with games and toys, painted bright, pleasing colors and completely impervious to escape. A small dish of milk and honey should be inserted via an airlock system three times a day. The viewing window should be kept clean, as the station is likely to be manned and ENF-019's activities are of considerable scientific interest.

At least one (1) Foundation researcher must be present in ENF-019's enclosure at all times. Any method can be used to select the currently active researcher, as long as she fits the essential criteria of being female and passably attractive. As staff are unlikely to volunteer, it is acceptable for senior personnel to mandate participation in this program.

All events that take place in ENF-019's enclosure must be recorded from multiple angles using high-definition cameras. Dr. Blithe is in charge of the footage. However, he is not entitled to play it at the Christmas party.

Description: ENF-019 is a group of roughly seventy-five miniature humanoids, roughly six inches in height, petite and feminine in appearance, with skins ranging in color from pastel green to burnished gold. Though unequipped with wings, they seem to have the capacity for flight. They are agile, playful and difficult to catch.

Specimens of ENF-019 somehow derive energy from practical jokes. Though any target will do in a pinch, experiments by Dr. Blithe have suggested they have a strong preference for attractive female victims. Researchers fitting this description are advised to exercise **** caution, and to ensure that ENF-019's attention is diverted before commencing their analysis.

Though every precaution has been taken, ENF-019 displays a remarkable aptitude for escape. The only surefire way to prevent a mass breakout is to ensure they have someone to torment at all times. It may not be pleasant to watch them play keepaway with a respected co-worker's underwear, or suspend her in midair and tickle her senseless with Foundation-provided feathers. But we have to consider the alternative.

Addendum 019-01: If it's your turn in the pixie cage, you have to go. I know nobody wants to do this, but that's the reason we have interns. And, yes, we have to provide them with spanking paddles, or they get cheeky.

Addendum 019-02: Yes, Melissa, I know Dr. Blithe's upset you spilled his coffee. I know it's not your fault that he's scheduled you for a full week of pixie duty, or that he's in the front row of the viewing station every day. I know you don't like what they do with the whipped cream and the rubber bands, and all those tiny tongues. I know you've got a PhD and you're not used to this kind of treatment. You still have to go.

Addendum 019-03: Well, everyone, this is what happens when Melissa doesn't do as she's told. I hope you're all happy. I promise you we've rounded them all up, and there's no truth to the rumor that we still have a colony of pixies hiding in the ventilation ducts. And, no, Dr. Blithe, you still can't play the footage at the Christmas party.