END?

“¿Te vas?”

No pude evitar tartamudear ante la repentina respuesta.

El café que tenía delante ya se había enfriado y sentía que me temblaban las piernas.

La luz del sol que entraba por los grandes ventanales por alguna razón parecía más fuerte hoy.

y los sonidos que no provenían de la persona frente a mí parecían distantes y borrosos.

“Sí, Verónica, ¿cuántas veces te lo voy a tener que decir?”, dijo Billy con voz de Miyuki en tono molesto.

“Pero ¿POR QUÉ?” con una mezcla de anticipación y angustia le pregunté a Billy.

Esta era otra de sus trampas, ¿verdad? ¿A qué me obligaría esta vez? Quizás me obligaría a desnudarme en este café y...

Mientras mi mente corría, Billy simplemente se encogió de hombros.

Ya me he divertido bastante, es hora de cumplir mi parte del trato. Tu madre y tu hermana deberían estar en casa ahora mismo, un poco confundidas... no te preocupes... no recordarán nada.

No recordarán nada…”

Las palabras salían de la boca de Miyuki pero mi mente había dejado de captarlas.

Una palabra se repetía una y otra vez en mi cabeza.

¿Soy libre?

“Bueno... es hora de irnos, punktits, dejé a Antonella atada con un vibrador metido hasta el fondo y quién sabe qué le podría pasar”.

dejando una suma considerable de dinero billy se alejó con el ruido de sus tacones en el suelo.

pero antes de terminar de irse dijo “ah, no intentes hacerles recordar nada de lo que pasó o podrías freírles el cerebro... oh bueno, haz lo que quieras”.

Una vez que supe que había ido lo suficientemente lejos, no pude evitarlo... rompí a llorar en medio del café.

Las lágrimas y mocos salían de forma descontrolada y antiestética preocupando a las personas que me rodeaban.

pero no importaba. Era libre. La risa y el llanto se mezclaron mientras la camarera me preguntaba preocupada cómo podía ayudarme.

Una vez que me calmé, corrí directamente a casa para abrazar a mi mamá.

***

Abrí la puerta de golpe. Mamá, que caminaba por la sala, se giró desconcertada y gritó: "¡Veronica!

¡Verónica! ¡Planeas destruir mi puerta!

Sin embargo, la ignoré y corrí a abrazarla. Mamá parecía preocupada por el repentino intercambio, pero me abrazó suavemente.

“estás vestida normal...” --“claro señorita, ¿cómo se supone que debo vestirme?”

"Vec, ¿estás bien?" se escuchó la voz de Jessica y mi llanto se hizo más fuerte cuando salté sobre ella para abrazarla...

"Hola, hola, está bien, hermana. Veo que estás feliz de verme", dijo con algunas risas de por medio.

***

Diario:

Había pasado una semana desde que Billy nos dejó y por primera vez en meses pude dormir profundamente.

Había querido preguntarle a mi mamá y a Jessica si sabían lo que había estado pasando, pero desistí de la idea al recordar las palabras de Billy.

Fue como un sueño volver a una vida normal. Ver a mi mamá cocinar o simplemente caminar por la casa y Jessica quejándose y peleando conmigo...

Aún así los efectos de Billy eran bastante visibles. Cuando mamá pensaba que nadie la estaba mirando, se apretaba los pechos o quedaba hipnotizada por su figura mientras pasaba frente a un espejo.

also, she still followed the exercise routine left by billy to the letter.

i had checked to see if there was any of jessica's content left online but found nothing but simple comments asking for some sort of link or folders of megabytes that were downloaded shortly after.

jessica on the other hand could stand for hours doing nothing and just stare into space or obey orders without question.

even i still suffer some havoc. sometimes i can't help but get horny watching mom and even my sex drive is uncontrollable.

but i have faith that these side effects will go away with time.

***

Diary:

2 months have passed since billy disappeared and little by little everything is back to normal.

I will be going back to college soon and I was finally able to move in with lily in a modest apartment near campus.

lily seems to be doing well too, it seems that billy didn't affect her too much.

jessica is starting photography school, she hasn't told me when yet, and mom has relaxed her posture in general.

my life is slowly getting back on track and i am happy about it. i still have nightmares about billy.

I had gone over to check the yoga studio to try to see if Billy had left at all and to my surprise a small sign indicated that he had moved his business operations.

also it was obviously impossible for me to go to the fujiwara group's skyscraper and all the dolls' social media accounts had either blocked me or I had a private profile.

my body's urges have still diminished... sometimes I still have the crazy compulsion to masturbate for hours on end.

but thanks to this i have discovered that i like men again!

the desire that billy had extinguished for them has come back strongly which is a relief in a way.

I'm not ready to relate to anyone yet, but it's good to know that the pieces are coming back into place.

***

Diary

5 months have passed

I've been very busy and stressed lately with homework so I haven't been able to write.

I have managed to regain control over my body and the nightmares are becoming less frequent....

even in the midst of my busy school life i have made time to visit my mother. our relationship has improved a lot in the last few months.

I was even able to go on a date with a guy!

it's not serious or anything like that and it's maybe

maybe it's too soon to try.

but i've done so many things with women that i want to write about it even though it's too soon.

i hope to have good news tonight....

*

...

i had the date today and it didn't go as i expected.

at first everything went nice and smooth. we went to dinner and after a light meal and hours of talking we finally went to his apartment.

however there i had the most insipid and 0 pleasurable sex possible... even though i tried every way i could to enjoy it i couldn't even get a single orgasm....

maybe it was that the guy wasn't good enough? i don't want to put him down but there must be something wrong with him right? maybe the next one will be better.

***

8 months...

I've dated a dozen guys and the most he's managed to get is a mild orgasm.

The control over my urges that I had achieved was now a thing of the past.

Masturbation had become part of my daily routine and above all my companion at night.

I never thought that everything I was **** to learn about sex toys would amount to anything.

I have kept it simple so far with just a dildo.

***

9 months...

today a funny thing happened. after another disappointing night of watered down sex, in one of my usual routines of doing the laundry while I was pleasuring myself, on a sudden impulse I took my panties out of my pants.

in a sudden impulse i took lily's white panties and smelled them....

surprisingly that made me have a pretty strong orgasm. so strong that I even squirted.

i'm horrified by what i did... what the hell is wrong with me.

it must be billy's fault, right?

***

10 months

I spied Lily today while she was changing...

memories of that night in the park under billy's orders flashed through my mind with her naked figure.

her wicked image giving me orders while submerging me in pleasure was what I wanted most at this moment... hell, reading the entries in this diary I think I'm going crazy.

***

11 months

I had sex with a girl.

by chance i met erin the girl i almost seduced at the discotheque quite a while ago.

she is studying languages at the university and in between the back and forth she invited me to have coffee at her apartment.

I would like to say it was just a coffee but it was the best sex I've had in months.

erin didn't hesitate to dominate me at my request... and i loved every second that she commanded me and **** me to follow her orders.

why do i keep having these thoughts... GOD.

my mind has adapted to being submissive?

***

one year.

today i got in a fight with lily. she caught me touching myself while i was spying on her in the shower and we got into a huge fight.

She told me about her missing underwear and how I had been acting weird.

she probably moved out the way things are going. plus i think she told mom since i got some missed calls from her.

everything was easier when billy was in charge.

i've tried sending messages but they never get answered!!!!

i still haven't been able to locate where they moved their business but....

***

year and a half

I'm alone. lily moved out and couldn't take any more of my actions.

I've lost control over my impulses again... and I don't know why.

when billy was around at least i could blame her. she bossed me around and made me do things and i didn't have to question or think about my actions.....

***

????

I'm tired... everyone has pulled away from me and... it's so hard.

I've started using **** to deal with the anxiety but it's been hard.

my mind feels like a prison from which it's impossible to escape....

i want to stop thinking... i want billy back.

***

sitting in a corner of my room after writing the last words as a kind of **** prayer I realized what I had said.

yet my heart wanted him desperately. with him controlling me i would never suffer again....

as if he heard my prayers in the blink of an eye i went back to that cafe where it all ended so many months ago.

Miyuki sat upright like an arrow, smiling from ear to ear in a confident and mocking way.

i had understood. i always danced in her hand, it was all a dream... a simulation lived in seconds.

But after living through those hellish months, the feeling that came over me was pure ecstasy.

Yes, this is what I want. miyuki's foot came off her heel and gently approached my legs.

I gently opened them so she could touch me thoroughly.