Dungeon Delays

Like the last team this one had a dowsing crystal with them. Looks like their magic user is a brother of Breya goddess of the harvest, and fertility. I think that's what the brown and green robes mean at least. I'm too busy trying to keep from pissing myself. They caught us all at a rather fragile moment. He's giving Elizabeth's belly tattoo a non-too friendly glance. "That's the mark of a demon." He stage whispers to his companions. One of whom knocks and arrow back and readies himself. That's a local ranger if I'm not mistaken.

"And a goblin." Their shield and mace wielding lead adds his own commentary. "Looks like the dungeon is already expanding."

"Let's not..." I raise my hand in a friendly way and before I know what hits me, something hits me. I'm suddenly looking at the sky and there's an arrow sticking out of my chest. "Fuck!" I howl and arch my back as the pain comes to me. "I was trying to negotiate."

Now in their defense they had no idea that Elizabeth was a 1-star. As far as they knew they'd walked upon two naked losers and a goblin and were about to be in for an easy fight.

Alas.

Now they know what I know.

By the time the arrow was halfway to my chest, Elizabeth was halfway to them. I would have prefered that she threw herself in front of me, what with her healing powers and all, but I guess she's just not that kind of ****.

All I can hear is. "Hey! Hey what are you?" Then the priest gets thrown through the air and slams against cauldron of corruption, out cold.

Cyrus never one to let himself go to waste comes out with a length of rope and ties the priest up.

"Don't worry about me." I wheeze, crawling to my potion bag I'd dropped when I was shot. I can see Elizabeth facing off against the tank and the ranger at the same time, the lying fuck. She's totally equal to three people!

The ranger has two daggers pulled out now, and is rushing her with a cloud of slicing strikes. Like the true psycho she is, she sacrifices her arm by thrusting forward with a flat palm. He fleche's her arm from wrist to shoulder, but with her enhanced strength she slams her hand on his chest, and sends him flying backwards. He's like a cart wheel as he rolls through the clearing, his daggers and boots go flying in random directions as the momentum carries him away.

Cyrus knots the Priest to the cauldron then goes running after the ranger, with plenty of rope left to go.

The tank's the last member of the crew left. He swings at Elizabeth who's still recovering from her attack on the ranger. Despite her prodigious speed she can't dodge the attack. Instead she throws her sliced up arm up over her head to absorb the attack. There's a loud sickening crack as her arm is utterly destroyed. However now she's inside the tank's range. She casually sweeps her leg forward completely undercutting the much heavier man in full armor. He falls to the ground with a crash, the mace flies into the air. Elizabeth catches it with her mangled and broken arm, and just stands there watching the tank try to get to his feet in his heavy plate armor.

I can't help but be jealous as I watch her arm snap and pop back into place and form. Before long it's back, good as new. I'm only now uncorking my healing potion. Again just as casually as before she lifts the mace up, and bonks the tank across the head with it. You know, that gentle kind of head trauma you do when you just want a person to go to sleep."

By the time Cyrus has all three adventurers tied up, I have the arrow ripped out of my sternum and and guzzling down yet another potion of healing. Can you get sick from drinking too many of these things? "Well done." I say to Elizabeth as she catches her breath and puts on some clothing. Not much is left after our sexy little fight, but she's got a ripped blouse, and some pants that at least provide a little modesty.

As for me it's back to the homeless robes.

"I'm glad you're on our side!" Cyrus smile up at Elizabeth, who just gives him a nasty snarl.

I look to the adventurers shaking my head. This was not a prize I wanted. "I guess our gear situation is solved." I snap to ger Cyrus' attetion. He looks up at me like a loyal dog. "Gather their gear, I think I saw some knives fly that way."

"You got it boss." He trundles off like a good lad.

"That's the third party in two weeks to find this place." I say. "As Impressive as that was, I can't rely on you doing it again."

Elizabeth throws her arms out in exasperation. "Just move this crap shack! It's not even finished!"

"Enough." I say in my big boy voice. "We're going."

An hour later I'm wearing a leather chest piece, and carrying two daggers, while Cyrus is swimming in a large metal helment while dragging a mace behind him. Elizabeth as ever wears a look of contempt.

He have the adventurers bound and gagged, and tied to the Cauldron of Corruption which is bubbling away at a mutation potion. We warned them that if they rock the boat they just might end up swimming in that stuff. Killing them would be easier no doubt, but I really don't take joy in that type of thing. If Bellowyn presented them to me, they must serve her purpose somehow. Even if it's just to make up my mind about taking this dungeon.

Even if what Elizabeth says is true, and she gets all the loot form this place It'll be worth it.

I'll get paid for clearing the dungeon, and I won't have to deal with these adventure guild losers anymore. Fuck if that ranger just shot a little more to the left I'd be dead, dead.

Elizabeth had managed to put her gauntlets, leg armor and helmet on. We'd really wrecked her chest piece, and she was too small for the armor the tank had been wearing.

Still I wasn't all that worried about her.

She'd out live us all, and dance on our graves I'm sure of it.

The three of us stand before the mouth of the cave, the strangest adventuring party you ever did see.

"Any words boss?" Cyrus looks up at me hopefully.

All I can do is shrug. "Let's beat us a dungeon."