Double Helping of Pork (Game Over)

The hogs trudged around the alley loudly as they searched, bickering among themselves. Ronnie settled down deeper into the barrel, focusing on keeping quiet.

“I don’t know why you had to drag me out here. You lost your own stupid bandana,” the one still wearing one replied.

“It’s my lucky one!” the sister protested. “Besides, if you lost yours, you’d be dragging me out here, too!”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whatever.”

They continued to argue and search for a couple of minutes. Ronnie could hear them walk up and down the street several times over. Luckily, they never walked too close to him. But his luck wouldn’t last forever. The sound of a pair of feet stomping became louder and louder until it stopped right beside him. He stopped breathing. Not just because he was afraid of being caught, but the stench was unbearable this close to one of the hog sisters as well.

Then he felt an itch on his right arm. Oddly, it began to move up his arm. His eyes darted toward the source and he froze. Crawling up his arm and to his shoulder was a small red scorpion. It scuttled quickly. If he didn’t do anything, it would be crawling up his neck in moments.

With a high-pitched screech, he tumbled out of the barrel, knocking it down with him. He frantically slapped at his arm, knocking the scorpion away. He didn’t have much time to savor his victory over the small creature. Two pairs of eyes were fixed right on him. Ronnie froze as he looked up at the two hog women, frozen in fear.

“Lookie here, sis. Looks like the weasel got some other poor sap to join her club,” the one without the blue bandana sneered.

“Come here, runt!” the other said as he reached down with one of her meaty hands.

Ronnie was too petrified to dodge out of the way. Her hand formed an iron grip around his neck as he was hoisted into the air. The raccoon tried to pry her sausage fingers off his neck and tried to kick at whatever he could reach. But he couldn’t make her budge an inch and all his feet could reach was her gut. His kicks bounced off her stomach fruitlessly.

“Hey! I found my bandana!” the other cheered happily as she snatched up a red bandana that lay near the barrel. She didn’t waste any time wrapping it around her neck and securing it.

“Now that that’s settled, I think it’s time we took care of this varmint,” the blue bandana hog said cheerfully. “The name’s Jessie.”

“Mine’s Jane,” the other added as she smiled widely.

Jane lifted the barrel back up. Before he could get a word in, Jessie raised him high into the air and slammed him down back into the barrel he was hiding in just moments ago. He was stuffed in torso first. His arms and legs were pinned by the sides of the barrel and his head was **** into an uncomfortable forward position.

“What are you doing? Get me out of here!” Ronnie barked out from inside the barrel, but the sisters ignored him. They smugly grinned down at him from the opening of the barrel.

“I hope you’re ready, raccoon!” Jessie taunted.

“I don’t he’ll ever be ready to handle the both of us. Too bad!” her sister laughed.

Both their grinning faces disappeared, leaving only the view of a bright blue sky. Ronnie struggled in an attempt to escape the barrel, but it was hopeless. Even if the looming threat of the hogs weren’t there, he’d still probably be stuck fast. Speaking of which, he could hear the hogs shifting around and fabric rustling against itself. He didn’t know what they were planning, but he was sure it wasn’t going to be pleasant.

A pair of twin moons blocked out the sky and Ronnie was plunged into a pitch black darkness. The scent of old sweat and gas intensified, making his head pound. They were dark brown and jiggled as they settled on top of the barrel. Just one of their rears would have been enough to completely cover the barrel’s top, but the sisters managed to partially wedge both their asses into the opening. He was surprised the barrel didn’t break apart immediately.

The sisters flashed each other a smile. Most of their asses hung off the sides of the barrel’s top. It wasn’t a very comfortable seat, especially with the two of them on the barrel, but the fun that was soon to come would make up for it.

“Ready, sis?” Jessie asked.

“Do you even need to ask?”

Both sisters raised one of their hands and held out three fingers. Without saying a word, they began to count down.

“Three…”

“Two…”

“One…”

The sisters clenched their fists and let the poor raccoon have it. Two booming farts nearly burst apart the barrel through gas pressure alone. Its wooden body groaned as it bulged, but it managed to stay in one piece. Ronnie coughed and wheezed within his prison, but their gas drowned him out easily. And even if they could hear him, they wouldn’t care. In fact, they would probably only laugh at the sounds of his torment.

Ronnie’s head pounded as he was **** to breathe in the gas. The smothering stench blurred his mind and sapped his strength. In seconds, the barrel was flooded with more gas than oxygen. He gasped and wheezed as he desperately struggled to fill his lungs with anything but flatulence, but the chances of him doing that were the same as his chances of escaping the barrel. None.

The sisters laughed as they continued to let Ronnie have it with everything they had. They let out fart after fart, each loud enough to sound like a shotgun blast. The concentration of the gas inside the barrel increased with every one. As the concentration increased, so did the temperature. The temperature quickly became unbearably hot and humid. Soon, Ronnie was left in a barely lucid state. All he knew was that this barrel was his personal hell.

Unbeknownst to all three of them, the barrel was beginning to weaken. The wood splintered and sagged beneath the two hogs’ great weight. It creaked and groaned ominously before it let out a snap loud enough to be heard over the gas barrage. The two sisters’ eyes widened. They had a split second to gulp before gravity slammed them down to the earth like a pair of meteors. Or moons.

The barrel didn’t stand a chance. It smashed down to kindling and Ronnie faired even worse. In his half-coherent mind, he was just lucid enough to realize the horror of what was about to happen. But he couldn’t even scream. There wasn’t enough air in his lungs to even utter a whisper before two pairs of blubbery brown cheeks slammed down onto him. In an instant, he was smashed flat as paper. Both sisters looked surprised before they tossed their heads back and laughed together.

“They probably heard us from the other side of town,” Jessie said to her sister. “It probably sounded like a couple of gattling guns going off.”

“We should get out of here before anyone else shows up,” Jane replied. “I don’t feel like fighting Texas today. Unlike the raccoon, she can put up a real fight.”

“You said it, sis.”

The two sisters climbed to their feet and pulled up their pants. Something easier said than done Below them, stuck to the ground like a sticker, was Ronnie. He was pressed flat on his back into the earth. His arms and legs were huddled close to his body. His face was frozen in the middle of a gag. The only movement came from his bloodshot eyes, which looked up at the sisters pitifully.

“I don’t know about you, but I think our new friend wants to come with us,” Jessie said with a smile.

“I think you’re right. If you don’t want to come, just say something,” Jane added as she tilted her head to point her ear at him.

Ronnie’s lips were sealed tightly. No matter how hard he tried, there was no changing that.

“You heard him, sis!”

Jessie leaned forward and picked at his flattened tail. Her pudgy hands tried to get a grip on it, but she had a difficult time getting a grip on it. Finally, after a few more tries, she managed to pinch the tip between her fingers. In one slow, smooth movement, she peeled Ronnie off the ground. She smirked down at his frozen face before pulling the top of her shirt. Humid, hot air rose from her breast. Without hesitation, she stuffed him between them and let go of her shirt, letting it seal the raccoon away.

“Well, let’s get moving!”

<Line Break>

“Move over! You’ve been hogging his face all day!” Jessie complained to her sister.

“That’s what you get for not calling dibs fast enough,” Jane retorted.

“Come on! Please!”

“Only if our next job, I get to split the loot sixty forty.”

“Gah, fine.”

The home of the hog sisters was just as sloppy and dirty as its owner. It was little more than an almost decrypt shack on the outskirts of town. The stench of sweat was so thick, you could practically cut it with a knife. Somehow, they seemed immune to the stench of their own gas. The sisters were currently relaxing on an old, stained couch. The piece of furniture looked like it could barely fit one of them, but the sisters had managed to wedge themselves between the armrests, cheek to cheek. It looked like it would break apart any second, but the poor couch persisted.

With some difficulty, Jessie popped herself out of her spot on the couch. On the battered cushion was the top half of a faded, flattened raccoon. His finer features had been squashed away. Eventually, he would just be another faded stain on the couch. He was flattened lengthwise across the couch. His face was **** to look up. He was so thourly flattened, not even his eyes could move. With a gleeful snort, Jane scooted over quickly, taking her sister’s place. Ronnie was once again buried under a mountain of hog butt. Jessie walked over and plopped down on the raccoon’s lower half, once again hiding him completely from sight.

Both pigs settled in to get comfortable and Ronnie was anything butt- being buried in hog but after all. Then again, who cared about what a cushion thought?

Game over.