Don’t answer.

I didn’t answer. Honestly, I felt cheated. I didn’t say anything at that moment and just laid there. She tried to kiss me again but I avoided her kisses. After two attempts she looked at me with sad eyes, got up and left.

“I’m sorry” She said before silently closing the door.

I looked at the ceiling pondering what could I do. For sure she made clear that at least for her, this relationship was not about love. And that she didn’t have the same feelings for me. On the other hand, I was pretty sure that my feelings for her were real, despite of being one-sided. My head was spinning. What should I do? I didn’t think that she wanted to hurt my feelings. Instead, she looked genuinely sorry for me. And that was making it worse. I couldn’t get to hate her, despite of what she had just said.

I laying on my back I pondered the situation. There were only three options:

I could, of course, drift apart from her. It would be the most rational thing to do after a rejection. Probably less painful than the other options, for sure.

Of course, I could try to accept the offer she was giving to me. Enjoy ourselves without the burden of a relationship that probably would lead to nowhere. It wouldn’t be so bad but the idea gave me an uneasy feeling.

Lastly, I recalled the words that she used to reject me. “Every time I can”. Well, it wouldn’t be easy but she was worth the struggle. I would fight for her.