Do something else

John put them back under.

"Okay girls. When you wake up, I want you to both strip naked and begin humping your chairs. You will believe yourselves to be in a contest to be my sexy wife, and will give me your best reasons as to why I should pick you to be my wife!"

John then turned to the audience. "And my wife shall be picked by you! Just vote on who you believe deserves the job more."

John woke his two potential wives.