Do some research at the library

“Why don’t we go to the library and see if we can find some answers,” you suggest.

Zack looks dubious. “I don’t know if they will let me back in there yet. You know, it really isn’t fair; if they have a policy against viewing porn in the Library, they should have signs up that say so.”

“I don’t think the porn was as much an issue as was the fact that you were jerking off in the reading room.”

“Well, you can’t have one without the other, right? Besides, I think the head librarian was just trying to get my attention. You should have seen the way she was watching me with those horn-rimmed glasses! I’d let her put me on reserve any day of the week!”

“Look, let’s just go and see what we can find out. The library has an extensive medical section; maybe we can get some clues about what all this stuff in my file means.”

Zack throws on some clothes, and soon the two of you are on your way across campus to the library. As you approach the doors, Zack grabs your arm and says, “Dude, I’m serious about how much trouble I could get into if the head librarian sees me. She made it pretty clear that if I set foot in her library again, it would be impossible for me to jack off because she would slice off my penis and put it in the archives.”

“She said that?”

Zack nods. “In restrospect, it probably didn’t help my cause when I responded that she would need to use an extra-long shelf. Look, just to be on the safe side, can you try that invisibility thing again?”

“I don’t know, Zack. Even if I can do it again, there’s no guarantee I can make it work on anyone other than myself. Besides, remember what the file said — about the side effects?”

“Yeah, but that was on monkeys; who’s to say it will happen with you? Besides, it’s just long enough to get us through the door and away from the front desk, right?”

“I’m pretty sure it does have the same effect on me, though. Remember how horny I felt right afterwards? And what if that pheromone thing is true, too?”

“So you get a woody from time to time.... Heck, I’ve got one right now; it’s called ‘being a dude.’ And again, the pheromone thing was with monkeys. Humans don’t work that way. If we could turn on chicks with some kind of chemical, don’t you think that would have been discovered by now? Come on... let’s just give it a try, ok?”