Disagree...also Hemmingway

“Besides us Succubus do not kill to get our fill, like naughty children we get by just licking the spatula after the frosting is made.”

Eva retorted with a knowing wink.

Hey! Licking the spatula is a time-honored right of the youngest child and I will not be shamed for it!

#LickYoSpatulas

Oh look at that, a story! Let’s get back to it!

“However our abilities extend far past those of a human empath. In addition to absorbing emotions we are also capable of radiating them, sometimes to the point of emotional manipulation.”

Demons using their powers for evil!

I am shocked, shocked I say…well not that shocked.

“So we have a bunch of human-looking creatures running around that can turn a hippie into Hitler. Seems kind of dangerous.”

“Do not worry Joseph, while there are Succubi adept enough for such manipulation. Their numbers are exceedingly low. For the majority of Succubus, the most troubling thing our radiant emotions are capable of is accidently turning a disagreement with their lover into a three-day slugfest.”

Eva appeared to speak from experience.

“Hypothetically then if I did my chores and said my prayers by night. With enough time I could change any rando into a sex ****?”

“Roo-roo! Such a lewd thought.”

You just got kink-shamed by a literal fucking sex demon. #Savage.

“But no. While I’m positive there is a Succubus out there powerful enough for such a task.”

You didn’t like that grin on her face.

“Our influence can only affect that which is already in the realm of probability.”

“Uh?”

“Say you are courting a new romantic interest.”

You are courting a new romantic interest.

…

Bad jokes aside you thought of Haley.

“On a normal timeline let’s imagine you end the first date with a goodnight kiss, the second with a cuddle and the third with well you know.

Now we’ll add a variable, as a Succubus if your attraction to this young lady is strong enough. Intentionally or unintentionally your radiant emotions whether they be love or lust will be felt by this woman. And so on our new timeline with your influence in play, your lady friend happily skips the restaurant entirely and beds you on the first.”

Okay, maybe this Succubus-thing has some merits.

“However if we modify the timeline such that your first date ends horridly and she feels no chemistry.

I know an impossibility with your charms roo-roo, but just fantasize with me.”

So she is insane.

“Your influence no matter how strong will never be able to overcome such a glaring incompatibility and the two of you will never copulate.

Again impossible I know, but my point stands.”

Eva teased.

Yup definitely insane.

“Alright I get that. But question you mentioned even “unintentionally” my emotions would be felt. Does that mean these radiant emotions are always on?”

“Clever boy, yes they are always in play. You brought up earlier how this ability seems dangerous, well that is the one variable that can make this biological quirk quite dangerous especially as you grow more powerful.

Which is why it is of the upmost importance you always be aware of your emotions and do your best to keep them under control. Especially strong ones like lust, angry, envy, or sadness.”

We’re doomed.

“Succubae must be fairly rare then? I mean otherwise I imagine humanity would just be in one giant perpetual orgy. What with the one night stand success rate and all.”

“Female Succubae are fairly uncommon, but we are by no means endangered. Male Succubi such as yourself however are much rarer breed.”

“Well, how rare are talking? 1st edition foil-misprint Charizard?

“Charizard. Pfft, try a 1994 Trophy Pikachu Trainer Number one card.”

Look I know she’s an evil Succubus who potentially has plans for world domination. But can we all objectively agree mads props for her Poke-Mom street cred.

…Also just saying geeky moms hnnnggg.

“So pretty rare then.”

“I’ve only been able to confirm six in all of human history.”

“So no one I know then?”

“Before you the last known male Succubus died sometime in the early 2000’s. And before him, the last one I could confirm was from sometime around the industrial revolution.”

“Any reason why?”

A frown appeared and Eva lowered her head shaking out her raven-colored locks.

“I’ve never been able to validate my theory scientifically. But as far as I can ascertain, it’s a biological safe-guard. A life-form’s imperative is to be fruitful and multiple. A male Succubus is extremely successful in every stage of the mating process up till the birth of the off-spring. At which point they become a major hindrance.”

“How so?”

“They are capable of inducing an addictive effect on female Succubi. Like heroin this addiction can override all logical and primitive instinct. In severe enough cases all basic necessities to sustain life fall to the wayside, food unimportant, water unneeded, even a mother’s connection to her child can be abandoned in search of another hit.

Although this addictive behavior can be beneficial in creating a higher than average conception rate; if a mother fails to raise young for the sake of this addiction. It quickly becomes biological suicide.”

“Knowing this, Mother Nature combats the effects by limiting the birth-rate of male Succubi along with a few other tricks.”

“Such as?”

“Female Succubae are known to **** our male counterparts on a fairly frequent basis…In fact over 98% of males fail to mature past 30.”

Needless to say, you tuned out the remainder of Eva’s lecture and slowly started to inch your chair towards the door.

Sadly you had the stealth skills of a rodeo clown.

“Joseph, where are you going?”

“Uh…”

C’mon man say something coherent!

“Bathroom?”

Before you could evaluate your answer, you felt Eva’s presence next to you.

Shit! How’d she get over here so fast!

Dude, she walked.

It’s a heavy chair and you’re slow. You made it like two feet max it wasn’t far.

Oh.

Outstretching her arm, you flinched awaiting the killing blow. But instead Eva extended a dainty pinkie out to you.

“Roo-roo, you have nothing to worry about. Besides like I promised you before, I’ll never let anyone hurt you. Myself included.

Pinky-promise Joseph.

You nodded hooking your pinkie around hers.

“Pinkie-promise.”