Dining in

Y'know what no one tells you about flying through night sky in the arms of a beautiful superheroine? How fucking cold it is! Maybe it’s okay if you're invulnerable or an android or a magic Amazon Princess or whatever. But for regular folks? It’s hard to appreciate the view when you’re worried about your bits freezing off.

It’s a week after your restaurant date, and by the time Wonder Woman lands on her balcony and sets you on your feet, you're chilled through to the bone. "You could've let me know to wear warmer clothes," you say, clenching your jaw to keep your teeth from chattering.

"Concern for one another’s comfort was conspicuously absent from our agreement," she says airily as she opens the sliding glass door.

You follow her inside and go stand by the fireplace and try to warm up. Diana walks into the kitchen, and a minute later comes over and hands you a mug of hot chocolate, complete with mini marshmallows. "Thank you," you say sincerely.

You sip your cocoa and look around, as the Amazon disappears into her bedroom. The apartment is beautiful and elegant: high ceilings, open spaces, floor to ceiling windows, hardwood floors, high end finishings, that sort of thing. The furniture is rich without being opulent, as is the art on the walls. But the whole things feels somehow sterile, more like a magazine cover than a home.

By the time you have thawed out enough to think about anything else, Diana has changed into yoga pants and a baggy hoodie that says Ask Me About My Cats. Looking closer, you realize the letters are themselves formed from-images of cats doing cute cat things. It's charmingly hideous, tho damned if she doesn't make even that look good.

"Ah, OK that is approaching frumpy," you say as she crosses into the kitchen. “Do you even have a cat?"

"No," she says wistfully, "As little as I'm here, it wouldn't be fair to them."

She crosses into the kitchen and checks a large slow-cooker, which lets out some amazing smells. Diana makes a pleased noise and pronounces, "Dinner will be ready in 15 minutes. I can't promise it'll be as good as the restaurant but I’ll do my best.”

"As long as it’s better than the Watchtower cafeteria.”

"That I think I can manage," she asserts dryly. "I hope you weren't too disappointed."

"I wasn’t there for the food. Everything else was great. Lots of cool tech, interesting stories, and one hell of a view. Plus my tour guide had a fantastic ass."

Diana shoots you a "seriously?" look before turning her attention to dinner.

In fact the tour had been pretty amazing. Being teleported was a weird feeling, but you managed not to barf. The control room was fascinating, even if you understood less than half of what you saw. Superman did in fact shake your hand, which was more moving than you expected. Batman glared at you like he already knew all your secrets and was just waiting for the right moment to punch you out an airlock, but your Amazonian guide insisted he looks at everyone that way.

You and Power Girl did not in fact hit it off, but at least she didn't punch you for staring at her tits.

Diana showed you her rather Spartan quarters and surprised you by suggesting you have sex then and there. But her tone made it clear her only desire was to get things over with as soon as possible, and you plan to savor every item on your list.

And speaking of savoring: Wonder Woman calls from the kitchen to let you know dinner is ready. How cool is that?