Diary entry.

Dear Diary,

Another week is done, and I can't believe how fast time is flying. Henry had me sit in on a meeting and take notes for the first time. I still feel like he's testing me, but seeing him talk to the client was interesting. He is a smooth talker, a man with a silver tongue, that's for sure. Right after, he gave me a bunch of work again, and he didn't care. I guess that's how he is, and I'll keep doing what I'm doing.

I tried to talk to Tom again this week, and things did not go well would be an understatement. I tried to ask him why he was avoiding me, and he blew up on me. Yes, the Tom we love lost it, and I have never seen him like that. It scared me, but I couldn't help worrying about him. I just hope he knows I am there for him, whatever he is going through. I wish he would talk just to me about it. But I think I should give him space and pray that one day he can open up.

Andre texted me. I was so excited after what we did last weekend, and I was hoping he wanted to see me again, and I wanted to know if it would lead to something more. I mean, his cock will be etched in my mind forever. But he just wanted to see if I wanted to become an OnlySnaps model. Obviously, he did after that recruitment pitch he gave me. And I did the research, and you could make so much money that it would be stupid of me to say no. It's just posting some nudes, and it's safe.

I did my first OnlySnaps shoot with Andre, which was a sexy experience. He made me sign a contract beforehand, but it looked fine. At least I hope I didn't sign my life away. He offered me coke again, but I declined. It was a good one-time experience, but I don't need it in my life, and I don't want to become a junkie. I felt nervous and excited at the same time during the OnlySnaps shoot. Still, Andre made me feel comfortable and sexy. It was a fantastic experience, and I'm so glad I did it.

He made a move at the end of the shoot, and I just couldn't say no to that dick. He was so sexy, and I was so turned on, and I can't believe I actually did it. He made me suck his dick again in the living room. He became so dominant, like a whole other person calling me a slut and **** me on his dick. No one had ever treated me like that before, it scared me, but for some reason, I was so turned on. I can't help but wonder if I like being submissive. There's something about giving up control and letting Andre take the lead that got me aroused. I can't help but get wet thinking about being helpless and at his mercy. Maybe he was right, and I'm just a dirty little slut who needs to be taught a lesson. Either way, I will find out as I work with him and see how I like it.

I had lunch with Tom and Evelyn on Sunday. Evelyn was a little weird, and it felt like she was flirting with me. It's kind of crazy to think about Tom's mom and me together, but I can't help but wonder what it would be like; she is good-looking. Maybe I'm just a pervert. Tom ignored me the whole time we were there, I wasn't surprised, but I did want to talk to him. I hope he opens up to me soon.

We're not lost. We're just headed somewhere different. (Emily X.R. Pan)

~K

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