Day 23 - Object Insertion - Catwoman

The Lexcorp Demonstration Hall was a for-profit display auditorium that housed an abundance of stolen artifacts and which was run by the most evil people on Earth. There were also ways in which it was unlike The British Museum.

Selina shimmied her way through the vent and into the rafters of the main hall, reaching her hands down to the floor and slowly wiggling her hips out. The filtration unit was tight enough that it wasn’t easy on a curvy girl, but it also wasn’t curvy girl-proof. Settling onto the perch she’d scouted out earlier that same day, Selina drooped her chin over the edge and looked down. No patrolling guards - though those were always less useful than people hoped. No laser tripwire system or anything. Even getting into the ducts had been a cakewalk. Outside of the security systems - which Oracle would take care of - it may as well have been a public museum showing off local artwork.

Her earpiece let out a little beep that made Selina’s skin crawl. She’d spoken of the devil, and they had appeared.

“Yello,” Selina turned on the earpiece and slowly rolled over onto her back, continuing to look down over the ledge.

“Are you in position?” Oracle asked impatiently, the same way she’d asked it the past several times.

“You know, I thought we talked about doing code names before this,” Selina was, frankly, bored. They’d overprepared.

“Do you need a codename other than Catwoman?” Oracle sounded annoyed, but Oracle also always sounded annoyed.

“Batman doesn’t call you Oracle all the time, does he?” Selina kicked her legs idly. “Babs, isn't it?”

“Babs is reasonably short for Barbara, what would I even shorten Selina to?” Oracle started typing. “I’m going to assume you’re in if you’re answering my call.”

“It doesn’t have to be a short version of my name,” Selina checked her claws, flicking a bit of dust off of one of them.

“I don’t know then…. Tejano? Como La Flor?” Oracle’s fingers sounded like they were going a mile a minute.

“Decent joke, heard it a million times.” Selina watched the cameras start to droop. “Isn’t that a bit before your time, though?”

“No,” Oracle snorted. “You realize your ID is in Bruce’s file, right? You’re only like three years older than me.”

“See, you’re way too casual with first names,” Selina rolled over onto her stomach and waved at the camera.

“Please,” Oracle’s fingers stopped. “If this line is compromised, we have way bigger problems.”

Oracle started typing again, though this was a quick staccato burst of machine-gun fire compared to the air support barrage of last time. She let out a pleased little exhale that was much too loud over the earpiece. Bruce either turned her down, cut her off way more judiciously, or just didn’t care much. Maybe his hearing was shot, Selina would have to look into that.

“There,” Oracle cracked her knuckles loudly. Poor girl sounded like she had more air bubbles in her joints than actual fluid at this point. “Camera feeds will now loop the ten minutes before you came through the vent for the rest of the night. We are officially robbing Lex blind.”

“You and Bruce do realize that he’s going to know it’s us, right?” Selina winced as she slid down from her vantage point to the show floor, riding the pillar down less gracefully than she had in her head. “Lex is going to have exactly two people in mind when the item that Bruce wanted from him vanishes without a trace. Doesn’t matter how good his alibi is.”

“I… actually agree…” Oracle admitted in a voice that sounded almost sheepish. “I don’t know… why he does things the way he does them sometimes. I think he just likes to over-prepare. Makes him feel more secure.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Selina leaned on the door to the back room for a second before grabbing her lock picking kit. “Good old knee pads and helmet Bruce. Training wheels on his exercise bike. Condom on even when he masturbates.”

“That’s… not real, is it?” Oracle asked after a second.

“You’ve probably seen the exercise bike, you tell me.” Selina smirked.

“Hilarious,” Oracle grumbled back.

“I consider my sense of humor at least my sixth or seventh best quality,” Selina leaned a little closer to the lock. It was weirdly intense for the store room of a museum. But maybe Bruce had meant it when he said the item was big time. “Top ten isn’t bad.”

“Can I get you to stop quipping and take this seriously?” Oracle’s voice shifted back to the usual migraine-y annoyance.

“I’m taking it seriously if I’m quipping.” Selina gave the picks a slightly more forceful wrench and snapped one. She fished another out with a grimace. “We all deal with stress our own way.”

“You know, he did warn me about working with you,” She could hear Oracle smiling. “He said you’d drive me up a wall.”

“That doesn’t sound like how he’d phrase it,” Selina’s frown deepened. “Hey, I know we’re going maximum security and everything, but is it alright if I just kick this door down instead?”

“You’re welcome to try, but it's reinforced.” Oracle muttered under her breath and fired off another few bursts of keyboard supporting fire. “Should just be a standard lock, but maybe he had it replaced within the past twenty-four hours?”

“If he knows what I look like and saw me on video earlier, I wouldn’t be surprised.” Selina crouched down next to the door and pressed her free ear right up above the lock.

“We could look for other-”

“Quiet,” Selina hissed. “Give me complete silence for a minute or two. So long as this isn’t a computer lock, I can do this.”

She listened to the sounds the tumblers made as she pressed her pick against each one of them, her grimace deepening with each successive sound. Blowing out an annoyed breath through her teeth, Selina grabbed her least-utilized but most-valuable tool from her belt. Jamming the screwdriver in under the pick, she forced them both in with as much elbow grease as she could muster. When a couple of the mechanisms finally gave away with a sickening, grinding crunch. She managed to jimmy the handle until more things broke, then slowly pushed until the knob slipped loose and she could pry it off. Wrenching the stopper with her fingers until the door finally cracked open. She put her shoulder into it and snapped the chain bolt, and then was in properly.

“I’m the best,” Selina took a second to catch her breath and then went back to creeping about.

“Not much higher tech than just taking an ax to it,” Oracle chimed in.

“The second biggest difference between Jack Torrance and I is that I know how locks work.” Selina took another slow, balancing breath as she moved through aisle upon aisle of stolen, superhero-related items. “Cheap locks are made to be kick-proof and don’t do great against picking. Expensive locks are good against picking, but there’s always at least one part of them that is cheap brass or copper. None of the locks in a good neighborhood are made to resist being kicked in. I imagine a lot of the computer stuff works the same way.”

“Not… exactly. But I see the comparison,” Oracle refused to take the bait and set her up for a line.

“Biggest difference between me and Jack Torrance is that I’m cuter.” Selina added under her breath.

“Didn’t ask.”

“You’re no fun,” Selina found her aisle.

“Oh, good, looks like you’re getting close.” Oracle changed the subject.

“Ready to be rid of me so soon?” Selina squinted at the indistinct number/letter combos on the storage spaces.

“Yes, but that’s not what I mean,” Oracle typed slowly for a second. “Now’s when we talk about the part you’re not going to like.”

“Oh yeah,” Selina thumbed through nondescript boxes. “Just like Bruce, only willing to talk about the shitty part when I’m already near the end.”

“Yup,” Oracle took a breath. “To be fair, it’s not like we think you’d refuse this… At least… Bruce says…”

“Leave Bruce out of this for a second,” Selina stopped looking and folded her arms, making sure she was standing in front of a camera while doing so.

“Look, you’re going to need to do something… unpleasant. Maybe it’s something you’ve done on a job before. Maybe it isn’t. It’s not… beyond the pale, but it’s not… there’s no good way to put it…”

“Then just put it,” Selina rolled her eyes. “You think I haven’t done nasty work on a mission before? Sewer escapes are just part of the job.”

“So.. here’s the thing…” Oracle still clearly didn’t want to just say it explicitly. “The reason the security has been so much lighter than it might be is because the object is… biological.”

“Biological?” Selina raised an eyebrow.

“As in it is made of living tissue. Living tissue which is not of this world and which gives off a very… distinct… output…”

“Radioactive?” Selina took a half-step back.

“No, not radioactive!” Oracle added in relief, perhaps just relief at being able to sell her the lesser of two evils. “Bruce said he wouldn’t have asked you to do this if it was radioactive.”

“So sweet of him,” Selina rolled her eyes over toward the camera. “But you still haven’t gotten to the bad part.”

“Well… because the… signal… that this thing gives off is so unique, Lex feels safe protecting it by just tracking the signal. There’s a radio wave perimeter coursing through the building, and if the object enters certain fields, the whole place explodes.”

“Ah,” Selina pulled off her gloves. “So Lex isn’t worried about us breaking in, because there’s no risk of us breaking out again.”

“No risk that he knows of,” Oracle’s voice got squeamish. “We did some animal testing and we’ve… found a way to block the signal.”

“From the source?” Selina was starting to get an inkling of where this was going. “You found a way to hack the source, right?”

“Not something you can hack. Really low-tech solution for a high-tech problem.” Oracle got squeamish again. “But we… Bruce… fed one of Damien’s rats a little transceiver that gave off the object’s signal and let it loose in the museum… not during business hours, of course.”

“Even not during business hours, that seems like more of a risk than he’d normally take.” Selina winced. “Damien got his rat back, right?”

“We had already tested the method as much as possible during control trials, it was either that or send you in as the rat.” Oracle’s voice bounced between smooth professionalism and a deep discomfort that made Selina secondhand nervous. “It was like… ninety nine point nine nine nine whatever chance it didn’t blow up.”

“Damien got his rat back, right?” Selina repeated.

“He got A rat back.” Oracle murmured.

“Damien can tell, Barbara.” Selina tapped one of her claws on the shelf.

“What are you, my mom?” Oracle deflated as quickly as she started. “Yeah, I know Damien can tell.”

“When I’m done with this job, we’re finding that sweet boy his rat.” Selina went back to checking the shelves. “Before it passes the transceiver and turns this place into rubble.”

“It probably headed out to the sewers,” Oracle reassured her, “Or some back alley somewhere. It also almost certainly passed the transceiver by now.”

“Damien loved that rat,” Selina said in mock despair. “I don’t even have to know which one, I’m just sure that he did.”

“Quit guilt tripping me about it,” Oracle muttered. “It wasn’t even my idea.”

“So, like the aforementioned rodent, you need me to eat a biological entity and smuggle it out.” Selina tapped her claw on her chin. The thought definitely wasn’t appetizing, but it probably wasn’t that bad all things considered. So long as it wasn’t like… pulsating or anything.

“Not… exactly…” Oracle sighed nervously. “Unless you can swallow something the size of a baseball.”

“Oh go fuck yourselves.” Selina took a step back from the shelves and put her hands up. “As soon as you told me to bring lubricant, I should have known to turn the job down.”

“Look,” Oracle tried to sound commanding, but sounded like she was pleading. “You just need to get it fifty yards away from the building… by storing it somewhere with… sufficient… biological… shielding…”

“And of course I can’t just stick it in my armpit?” Selina turned to the camera with a scowl. “Tuck it under a boob?”

“There can’t be any signal leakage,” Oracle typed rapidly. “Or at least, not greater than twenty megahertz of leakage. A full layer of skin-”

“Yeah, I get the picture.” Selina growled. “So I essentially have two equally shitty storage options.”

“Well, they’re not equally shitty.” Oracle murmured back. “Your personal preference will tell you which one is more feasible.”

“You said baseball-sized?” Selina went back to checking the shelves. “Yeah, absolutely go fuck yourselves.”

“About baseball sized,” Oracle added meekly. “Bruce did talk about this thing in terms of… in terms of Lex accidentally breaking the world by messing with it.”

“Yeah, I…” Selina grumbled. “I know Bruce. He’s not asking me to do this for shits and giggles.”

“Thank you for taking it seriously,” Oracle’s thanks sounded apologetic.

“I’m just going to assume that the bathrooms are one of the places it can’t enter?” Selina grimaced.

“Oh yeah,” Oracle typed for a second. “Though there is a… relative blind spot-”

“Here’s the deal,” Selina finally found the box she was looking for. “When we’re done here. I don’t ever want to talk to you again. I want to be paid without having to make eye contact with anybody.”

“Bruce said you might say that,” Oracle responded humorlessly.

“And you’re paying me three… no, five times what we agreed on.”

“Bruce said you’d change your rate too.” Oracle perked up slightly. “He actually allotted ten times what-”

“And thank you for being a terrible negotiator,” Selina purred as she fingered the box. She didn’t so much cut Oracle off as Oracle had trailed off, realizing her mistake. “That’s what you’ll be paying me, then.”

“Yeah, fine,” Oracle’s migraine-y voice had come back, “He won’t be thrilled with me, but money isn’t a huge issue to him.”

“One more thing,” Selina started moving under the camera, “I’m taking the ear piece out while I’m in the blind spot. I don’t want to hear a SINGLE word while I’m trying to do this.”

“Then you’ll want to take about three steps to the right… one more maybe?” Oracle sounded amused. Selina may as well have been in a panopticon for how little she felt like she was in a blind spot. “That’s as much cover as you’re liable to get.”

“Great, thanks,” Selina popped the earpiece out and put it in one of her pouches. Barbara could beep her or set off the alarms if she really needed her.

Popping the box open, Selina gulped and closed her eyes as she reached in, then finally opened them and took a look. It was, in fact, about baseball-sized. Slightly smaller, mercifully. Nearly perfectly round, maybe just the slightest hair oblong. It was pink and fleshy with patches of boney white exactly like what an alien egg would look like in her nightmares. Selina regretted the fact that she hadn’t asked if it was an egg. It didn’t feel wet. Even the pinkest bits felt as dry and hard as the white. It seemed rock hard, but when she squeezed it, even a little, she could feel it sort of… squish. Other than that, it wasn’t moving, it wasn’t slimy, it wasn’t ice-cold or red-hot. Really, of the terrible situation, most of it had come up her way.

Though, the more she thought about it, she really did have two dogshit options. Putting it in… the front… was probably less gross and would probably - keyword probably - be less uncomfortable for all parties. She was also, to put it in no ambiguous terms, more used to things going… that way than the other.

On the other hand, there was a sense that the… prison wallet… was the more obvious move. That was the stretchier hole, that was the one where it would be easier to hold it in and then push it back out again, and there was certainly going to be less… sensitivity. The idea of any of this experience being ‘stimulating’ kinda made her skin crawl.

But then… no. But what if… absolutely not. But maybe…

Selina pulled her clawed gloves off and reached down to open the crotch of her catsuit (The crotch opening was the first and most important modification to their suit that most people made.) Unhooking a couple of hooks and unbuttoning a couple of buttons, Selina detached the top half of her suit from the bottom and shimmied her latex pants down around her ankles. Sitting gingerly on the cold stone of the floor, she winced looking at the object again and then brought it down between her legs to consider. Within a second, she made up her mind that the back door was right out. It wasn’t… unthinkably big, and with a bit of training she probably could have reached a point where she’d shrug it off, but she had neither the time nor the interest for that right now. As is, it was going to be a bit more snug and intimate of a fit than she’d have liked. But that was much better than a painful stretch.

She brought the bottle of lube out of the pouch she’d stored it in. Once, just once, she’d like a mission where she was asked to bring lube and they had her use it to get through a tight chute or make somebody comically slip. Setting the object down on the floor and lubing both of her hands, Selina started to massage her pussy, pushing one and then two fingers inside before she’d even really warmed up much. As she fingered herself, she picked the… thing… back up off of the floor and lubed it more than she needed to, then added just a bit more than that. Bringing it down between her legs, she winced and started to rub it against her slit. Pushing it against her hole to test, it didn’t exactly slide right in.

Perhaps she imagined it, but it felt like it had gotten just a hair bigger.

Lifting it back up, Selina also worked a third finger into her cunt with a groan. She tried to spread her fingers and push her lips apart harder. She didn’t really have a baseball on hand for comparison. It felt like it had grown, ever so slightly, but that was maybe just the effect of actually trying to get it in. She dropped it back between her legs and started to rub it against her clit, then back down toward her slit as she pulled her fingers out. For a minute or so, she alternated back and forth between cramming her fingers into her pussy while she rubbed her clit with the object, then trying to push the object inside while she rubbed her clit with her fingers.

It felt like it was making some progress. Selina gave a frustrated exhale through her nose as her body tensed up. Relax, girl, relax.

Then it slipped in and she shuddered, a second later it slipped right back out again. Selina groaned and pushed at it with her fingers, feeling both the resistance of the stretch and the creeping, inward movement of the slow intake. Like she was lifting it up out of quicksand, a little, a little, then a lot all at once. Then backwards progress. Again and again.

When it finally seemed to be staying in, Selina wiggled her hips and gave another shudder. The texture of it, bony and fleshy, soft but also hard, was almost so off-putting that she forced it out right away. But not only did she need it to stay in, she ideally wanted it in deeper if she wanted to be as safe as humanly possible. At first, she tried to flex and contract her muscles to suck it into her, like some kind of reverse golf-ball trick at a stag party. She wasn’t that talented, at least not in that niche kind of way. Forcing it in further with her fingers, Selina sucked in her belly and flexed her pelvic floor to hold it in place. When it felt like it was as deep as it could go, and when it didn’t immediately roll back out again, she slowly unkinked one muscle at a time. Eventually finding the ones she needed to keep tense and the ones she could relax. Selina stood up slowly, bracing herself on one of the shelves. Then she brought her pants back up and fixed them back into place. Popping her clawed gloves back on, she took a step and reached for the earpiece.

It moved.

The feeling of it shifting was almost enough to make Selina’s knees give out. She leaned bodily against the shelf. It had probably just been a contraction of her muscles, some slip and replacement, but it had almost felt like the object was moving deeper, not out toward the exit. The human body was not meant to do things like she was doing, and Selina had never been more aware of that fact. Staggering forward again, she got the earpiece in.

“Hola, Amor Prohibido,” Oracle said with borderline cruel detachment.

“I hate this,” Selina groaned into the microphone as she shuffled her way through the shelves to the exit. “I hate this more than I can put into words.”

“Well I’m only picking up twelve megahertz leakage on the monitors,” Oracle’s voice immediately shifted to be more apologetic. “So at least you’re probably not gonna… you know… explode.”

“On second thought,” Selina pushed her way past the ruined door. “Why didn’t Bruce do this himself?”

“I mean…” Oracle’s voice shifted to something borderline unreadable. “We both know that… logistically… he could have. But do you think for a second he actually would have?”

“So what was your plan if I said no?” Selina looked at the pole she had shimmied down, the thought of shimmying back up made her want to puke. “Get Wonder Woman to do it?”

“For as much as he likes to over-prepare, I also don’t know that he thinks that far ahead. I think he just counted on that you’d do it for the right price” Oracle typed for a bit. “You can use the front door, you know.”

“I am not using the front door. Leave me with at least some dignity.” Selina started to shimmy up the pillar, grimacing with each wiggle of her hips. “And for him assuming that it was just a matter of money, when I get back there I’m going to-”

She never got to finish the sentence. After one particularly sharp wiggle of her hips, the object seemed to move again. This one not shooting up or shooting down, but seeming to vibrate back and forth in place, pushing toward her stomach and then back toward her spine. Selina’s legs gave out and she fell back to the floor on her butt. It felt like the object was slithering back up now, even more toward her gut than she had thought possible. Realistically, it hadn’t moved more than the tiniest of inches. But with where the object was located, it may as well have been pregnancy contractions.

“Dignity, huh?” Oracle was clearly trying not to laugh.

“I don’t want to hear a word from you about my quipping again,” Selina started back up the pillar. “I swear to god, this thing moves.”

“It moves?”

“Yeah, up and down, side to side,” Selina shuddered as she slowly worked her way up. “Probably just my muscles moving it, but, this isn’t… alive, is it?”

“This isn’t going to help your mood, but we don’t know.” Oracle typed for a second. “We’ve been trying to get answers out of Clark about it, but he only knows some of the details. He’s checking with his sources.”

“Obviously he didn’t think it was a big enough danger to knock down the walls and take it himself,” Selina finally made her way up the pillar and sat for a moment at her perch, trying to make her gut stop turning in circles.

One of the very minor problems she was running into was that she’d blue-balled herself. One of the very major problems she was running into was that there was no angle and no movement her hips could take that didn’t seem to make it shift at this point. The shifting was erotic but not stimulating, or stimulating but not erotic. One of the two, sometimes both alternating. As soon as this thing was as far away from her as humanly possible, maybe she’d kick back in the bath with a nice bottle of red wine… skip the caviar…

“He didn’t, but that’s Clark.” Oracle replied casually. “Aaand obviously Bruce doesn’t trust Clark’s judgment on some of these things.”

“Bruce probably doesn’t trust his reflection when he sees it,” Selina stood up with a grimace, setting a hand on her stomach like she was an expecting mother. “I’m getting the fuck out of here.”

“That sounds like a good plan,” Oracle typed some more. “I’ll let you know when you’re out of signal range. Then I can turn the cameras back on and you can… make your deposit.”

Selina bent almost a perfect ninety degrees and slid her head and shoulders into the vent, then pulled herself forward with her hands against the sides. Then she ran into the problem, the problem which had only been a minor nuisance on the way in. The vent was just a bit tight. Not so much that she couldn’t get through, but enough that her movements weren’t crawling or creeping, but instead a series of worming, dragging movements that involved flexing and wriggling her hips like she was hula-hooping. Even just getting her butt and legs into the vent was going to involve shimmying and shaking and squirming.

There was no way around it, she tried to rush it. Thrashing and pulling herself much less gracefully than she normally would have, Selina gripped the sides of the vent and thrashed her hips violently. She could feel her heart pounding, both from exertion and from the fact that the damn thing was doing loop-de-loops next to her ovaries. It zig-zagged, suddenly heavy and then just as suddenly weightless. Up and down, back and forth, side-to-side, even seeming to shrink and grow again. For a moment too large to be comfortable, then so small she thought she’d lost it. When she found it again seemingly more up into her stomach, just below her navel. Suddenly hot as a red coal, suddenly feeling like it was the size of a bowling ball. Of course, most of that was her imagination, her perception, but-

The first expletive slipped past her lips as she got her feet up and into the vent. Selina hunched in the limited space and pounded her fist on the metal. Her claws gripped either side of the vent. Then a long, increasingly profane string of curses boiled up past her lips. There was a churning, hot need in her loins, but not even a single bit of her brain could fixate on it. She pressed the button on her earpiece urgently.

“Oracle! Barbara!” She hissed.

“What?” Oracle sounded like she’d been caught in the middle of something else. Migraine annoyed but also slightly horrified.

“I think this fucking thing is hatching!” Selina desperately squirmed through the vents. She needed to get out of here, and fast.

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