Dawn is shaken by the reality of the situation

Sunlight peeked through the curtains, forcing Dawn to turn over as she hoped to avoid waking for a bit longer. Reaching into the recesses of her mind, she tried to cling to the few remaining shards of sleep, but that was not to be.

Opening her eyes fully, she was immediately unsettled. She looked around hesitantly, in search of Jasmine. As her eyes began to focus and orientation returned. It became immediately apparent that something was radically wrong. As she took in her surroundings a tight ball knotted itself in her gut and her throat constricted, her breathing becoming **** and erratic.

She was at home, her home, in her own bed; the one she had shared with Quentin for the past two years. But last night, she had been at Jasmine’s. Last night she had most definitely slept at Jasmine’s house. The memory of their time together flashed through her mind and her body filled with warmth in response.

Just then, Quentin walked into the room, half dressed and eating a cold piece of pizza.

“Morning,” he managed to mumble between bites.

Dawn went completely numb as reality slammed into her like a cement truck.

“It was all a dream,” she murmured to herself. “Oh my god, I can’t...no...” Her words trailed off as tears began to well in her eyes. Shaking slightly she looked back over at Quentin.

“You say something,” he asked nonchalantly, clearly focused on the can of soda he was about to wash his food down with.

“Uh-uh,” Dawn said quietly. Unable and unwilling to attempt to produce more a more audible response, for fear she would break down into hysterics.

“But why am I so bothered?” she thought to herself. “That means that none of it was real, including Quentin cheating on me and treating me like dirt.” That brought her no comfort, though.

Looking at him before her, she had never felt so distant from him in her entire life. In the past, the sight of him standing there, so early, munching away like a five year old, would have endeared her to him. Now she just felt cold, annoyed and terrified.

Perhaps it hadn’t been him who had been a jerk on so many occasions, she considered. Flipping the thought over in her mind confusedly. Emotion flooded her as she recollected all the times she had pulled him near, only to push him away. Claiming to be angry with him, yet, not truly knowing what she was feeling. Confused about her life and mired in frustration. She had played tug of war with him, both in search of comfort and as someone to act as the villain in all her thwarted desires.

Suddenly, the phone rang, shaking Dawn from her contemplation. Instinctively she leaned over to pick up the receiver; thankful for the distraction.

“Hello?” she answered inquisitively

“Hey baby,” came the voice on the other end. The phone nearly fell from her grip as Dawn registered Jasmine’s voice on the other end.

“Um, hi,” she responded abruptly. “How are you?”

“Oh, pretty good,” she answered casually. “But I’d be a hell of a lot better if I could see my best friend sometime soon. I was just thinking about you so I thought I’d call to see what you’re doing tonight.”

In a semi-stunned voice, Dawn replied, “I was thinking about you, too. Um, I don’t know what we’re, I mean, I’m, doing.” Hating herself for automatically including Quentin in her plans, yet feeling pangs of guilt for the ache in her that wanted him so badly just to disappear for a while so she sort this mess out.

“Hey, you ok?” Jasmine asked in a concerned tone. “You sound a little funny. That rat bastard didn’t do something idiotic again, did he?”

“No, no, I’m fine. Er, well, just waking up from a surreal dream,” Dawn lied unconvincingly.

“Oh really, I hope it was a good one,” Jasmine teased. “Why don’t you call me when you wake up some more and figure out how you’re going to make time for your best friend, whom you haven’t seen in a month!”

Nausea gripped Dawn as she took in Jasmine’s joke and pondered the idea of seeing her that evening. She wanted more than anything to tell her about the dream. To somehow, go back to sleep and find a way to wake up in that reality. That life where everything had already been neatly said and done by everyone else, and required so little action of her own; just the appropriate responses.

“Yeah, ok,” Dawn finally managed to say. “I’ll call you in a little bit. Let me just grab a shower first.”

The two girls hung up and Dawn quickly got of the bed and headed for the shower. Perhaps there she could be alone with her thoughts.