Daddy answers the phone.

"If this is who I think it is, she better have a damn good reason for calling at this hour and she better have my money!" Your Daddy sounds furious, and you know he'll be even angrier when he finds out you're in jail, but you have **** but to beg him to bail you out...

"Daddy, it's Barbie, I mean Brian, but you know what I mean...I...well...I... DaddyIgotcaughthookingandIgotarrestedandIgotgangbangedandIwanttocomehomeplease!"

The words spill out of you like a dam bursting and all you hear on the other end of the phone is dead silence, followed after an eternity by your Daddy's cold command, "Put the officer on the phone." You meekly hand it over to Lt. Lurch who looks dumbfounded, but only slightly more than usual. You can't hear what your Daddy is telling him, but a cruel grin slashes across his face and you know that can't be good.

"Your Daddy tells me you are a naughty, **** dealing sissy. He says he's sure I'll find contraband on you if I search again." Before you can protest your innocence, the crooked cop pulls out a baggy full of white powder from his front pocket. "You better hope the judge is lenient with first time offenders, because Daddy isn't paying for your lawyer!"