Dad(?)

The atmosphere in the room is awkward—more so than you could have imagined after that massage under the umbrella. You'd managed to flip everyone's expectations on their heads by instinctively choosing your father to stay in the room with you. The moment hung in the air, tense and strange, baffling not just your mother, Kim, and Tina, but even yourself. The only person who didn't seem fazed at all was, in fact, your dad.

Your mom, ever the diplomat, quickly gathered herself. There was an edge of unease in her voice as she agreed that it was a reasonable choice, suggesting she and Tina could keep Kim company on their shopping trip. Kim, meanwhile, shot you an incredulous glare before silently resuming her meal, while Tina gawked, her disbelief etched clearly on her face. Your decision had stirred the waters, and the ripples were still unsettling everyone.

Even now, lying on your bed with the door open to the living room, where your father is perched on the couch watching some halfhearted TV segment about Luna Carmichael's latest tour, you're second-guessing yourself. Why had you chosen him? Was it fear? But of what? Being left alone with one of them? They had already given you everything you'd ever desired—once, and they were ready to do it again. Yet something about it felt... off, like you were shielding yourself from a truth you weren’t ready to face.

"Maybe I just need to get used to it." You reason to yourself. But your father’s presence complicates everything, at least when he's in the house with you. Or when, like for the next days, you have to spend a lot of time with him. But, you also think, maybe you can take advantage of the current situation.

-Uhm, Dad?- You call out, your voice teetering on hesitation. He glances over at you, his expression distant, almost hollow.

-Yes?-.

-Look, this might sound a little strange, but... have you noticed anything different about Mom or the girls lately?- You try to sound casual, but the question hangs too heavily in the air.

Your father scratches at his bald temple, considering the question: -Different? No, nothing different. Your mom's her usual self. Your sisters too. I love them. Maybe you should ask your mother.-.

"O...k..." That sounded rehearsed, robotic even—like a line from a poorly written play. And there’s no ignoring the temporal coincidence of him starting to behave like this the day after your first sexual intercourse with the girls.

-And you're fine? I mean, you haven't been feeling dizzy or... had any arguments with them?- You press, fishing for anything out of the ordinary.

-Arguments? No, your mother and I are doing great. Our relationship is... gratifying. I feel completely fine. You should ask your mother.-.

-Right. Sure. Forget I said anything.- You roll onto your side, conceding the conversation to a dead end. But then, he speaks again.

-Son? Does your mother's behavior bother you?-.

The question hits like an icy slap, sending a shiver down your spine.

-No, no, not at all. Mom is her usual self, right? I mean, yes, she is.- You swallow hard, feeling the quiver in your jaw: -Maybe she just wants to spend more time with me. You might see her around me more... with Kim and Tina too. But, like, normal family stuff. Nothing weird.-.

-That's good. Your mother told me what you're doing together. I agree with her.-.

His words almost knock the air out of you. For a fleeting moment, it’s as if he's giving his blessing, his approval of the taboo that has bound you to your mom and sisters. But no, there's no way she told him that.

-That's awesome, Dad. Yeah, just me, Mom and the girls. I think she wants to give me, you know, some advice. Like one of those mother-son talks. Totally normal stuff.- You can't stop yourself from talking, the words tumbling out as if you're **** to see how much he actually knows, or rather, he doesn t. As if you want to take delight of that.

That's it, that's the truth. There's no reason to hide it. Robert Harris, the model of a traditional man. If he ever found out someone was sleeping with his wife and daughters, he'd lose his mind. And yet, you're that someone, you, their son, their brother. The thought makes the corners of your mouth twitch into a grin.

"I don't hate him or anything." You reason silently: "And he'll never know, so...".

-I'm glad to hear that. Your mother told me about Sunday morning. She seemed very happy.-.

You freeze. A chill colder than the seawater you’d waded through hours ago locks you in place. Slowly, you turn to face him, disbelief scrawled across your face.

-Oh, uh, right. Yeah. We spent some time together, the four of us. What exactly did she tell you?- The words catch in your throat.

-She told me what you did. Your mother and your sisters had a lot of fun. I... think...- He has some difficulty pronouncing this last word: -...you should do that more often.-.

Your jaw drops. You stare at him, desperately clawing for an explanation that makes sense. She must've said something innocent, you tell yourself. Cards. We were playing cards at the beginning. She probably told him that.

-Y-Yeah, totally. We should play more games. Uh, maybe you can join us next time.- You **** a dry laugh, your throat parched.

-Thank you, son. But this is something between you and them. It makes them happy, and I agree with them.-.

Your stomach twists: -Happy, right. They like playing card games. Uh, just to clarify... we're talking about card games, right?-.

Your father frowns faintly, almost as if he’s struggling to process the question.

-Because Mom told you that last Sunday we played cards. Right?- You ask for the confirmation.

-Your mother...- He pauses, stumbling for a second with words, then: -She told me everything.-.

-Everything.- You repeat: -Meaning... everything.-.

-Yes.- Comes his answer.

-That we played cards.-.

-Yes.-.

-And then...-.

-Everything.-.

Your heart nearly stops. Panic bubbles in your chest, a nervous laugh escaping before you can stop it.

-No, come on Dad, she hasn't told you everything.- You correct him. A distant voice in your head screams at you to stop, but you can't, you have to listen to him solve this twisted misunderstanding.

-She did. You made her very happy. I love my family, and I think you should do it more often.-.

-No...- You murmur, it can't be that he knows.

-Yes.-.

-No.-.

-Yes.-.

He does. He knows.

Your voice is mute for a second: -Dad, I'm not talking about cards game, you know that, right?-.

-You make them happy.-.

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

-Mmm...- You hold the spaghetti-strap floral minidress against yourself, inspecting your reflection in the shop mirror. After a moment, you switch it out for the flowing blue tank top dangling from your other hand.

-What do you think, Tina?- You ask absentmindedly: -With the dress, I feel like too much of a slut. But with the top, not enough.-.

Tina snaps out of whatever daydream she's been lost in since you left the hotel, blinking at you in confusion.

-Ah! Uh, I don't know. I guess... the dress is cute?-.

You roll your eyes and snort: -Why do I even bother asking you? Fine, I’ll take both.- you toss the items into your basket just as your mom appears, holding up a drab blouse that seems to scream, 'I'm a sexually repressed woman in her fifties, please look at my tits'.

-Find anything, girls?- She chirps.

When you leave the store, the three of you stroll down the bustling shopping alley, you and your mom leading the way while Tina trails behind.

-Wait!- Tina calls, jogging to catch up: -I’m sorry, but... are we seriously still shopping?-.

-Why?- You ask, stopping abruptly to face her with a skeptical frown: -Got a better idea?-

-Well... it's just the three of us, so I thought...- She trails off, her voice dropping to a whisper as her gaze darts around the crowd of tourists. It's obvious what she means but doesn't dare say.

Your mom laughs, her amusement rich and unapologetic: -Oh, Tina, you're such a rascal! You know how much I love spending quality time with my two girls! Maybe Kim can skip a few stores, hmm?-.

-Yeah, sure, why not? Oh, wait!- You say with a sarcastic edge, pointing a finger at your sister: -I just remembered: I'm pissed at you for that little stunt you pulled earlier. So keep it in your pants, okay, sis?- you spin on your heel and march ahead, not waiting to see how much shame floods her face.

-Come on, Kim. We'll have other chances with your brother.- Your mom says soothingly.

"Yeah, we, not me." You think bitterly.

-Besides.- She continues: -I really don't get your behavior, sweetheart. I know for sure you still want us as much as we want you.-.

Your expression twists into a guilty pout, hidden from their view. After all, when you thought about her blouse earlier, you hadn't been entirely dismissive. If you were being honest, your reaction wasn't even mostly disdain.

-Ehrm, about that...- Tina ventures demurely: -Shouldn't we, um, talk about what happened earlier? With Dad and Tom?-.

-What's there to discuss?- You snap, whipping around to glare at her: -Sometimes people like to do something other than your favorite thing in the world, Tina. It's called not being an animal.-.

-Tina, your sister's out of line as usual, but she's not wrong.- Your mom interjects with a smirk: -I mean, really, can we be jealous of your father?-.

Tina hesitates, her face flushing red. Oh fuck, she's really thinking about...

"Though, I'll have to admit... wait, we, no! Is her whoreness contagious? Do I want to fuck Dad??".

-Yes, well, no, but...- Tina stammers, struggling to string together a coherent response: -It's just, shouldn't he be more involved? I can't help but feel like we're doing something wrong. He should want to be with us, it's what he... what we've always wanted. But instead...-.

-He's always getting cold feet?- You cut in, raising an eyebrow. -Yeah, shocking revelation: he's a virgin. In his head, I mean. God, I can't believe I used to be like that. Honestly, I could do so much better than him if it weren't for...- you falter, annoyed by the knowing look your mom gives you.

-But maybe...- Tina ventures again, her voice heavy with discomfort. -If we came clean to him...-.

-What?-.

-Okay, okay, girls!- Your mom cuts in, holding up her hands as if to physically stop the discussion: -Let's take a break, alright? We're on vacation! Let’s just relax and enjoy ourselves. Have some fun, hmm?-.

You narrow your eyes at Tina, but you nod begrudgingly.

-Oh, by the way.- Mom adds, a sly grin tugging at her lips: -I heard something that might interest you...-.

-But I’m having sex with them!- You shout, your chair screeching loudly against the floor as you jerk upright, frustration boiling over: -Dad, with my sisters! And Mom—your wife! For fuck's sake, you can’t just be fine with that!-

You've spent the better part of an hour trying to convince your father to feel something about this, though it had already taken a full fifteen minutes just to get him to explicitly confirm that he knew what was going on. Without that admission, you might’ve spent the rest of your life stuck in the most disastrous misunderstanding imaginable. Now, you're caught between disbelief and desperation, gesturing wildly as his stoic calm remains unshaken.

The sound of the door opening halts your tirade, and the rest of your family steps inside, arms loaded with shopping bags. Kim is juggling a particularly large pile, and your mom is sliding off her oversized sunglasses. She pauses when she sees you and your father seated at the kitchen table, him serene, you disheveled and manic.

-Honey, what’s going on? Did something happen?- She asks, concern flickering across her face. Tina sets her bags down carefully, her gaze darting between the two of you. Kim barely spares a glance, clearly uninterested.

-You can say it!- You snap, throwing an arm toward your father: -He told me you told him what we did!-.

-Oh.- Your mom looks at you for a long moment, her expression unreadable: -And... is he angry? Robert, are you angry?-.

Your shouted -No!- practically drowns out his quiet, measured response.

-He's claiming that...- You begin, but your father interrupts, his tone as steady as ever.

-It makes my family happy, so you should do it again.-.

You whirl on him, your voice rising an octave in exasperation: -See?!- you gesture dramatically in his direction, looking to your mom for some kind of reaction, but she only furrows her brows in mild confusion.

-Well, uhm, does this bother you, sweetie?- She asks softly, tilting her head as if to coax the answer out of you.

-Like, shouldn't you be glad?- Kim mutters dryly, not even pretending to hide her boredom.

-Yes! I mean, no! I mean...!- You stammer, the words getting tangled in your throat. They’re not wrong. You should be glad, you should be relieved. But somehow, his detached approval feels suffocating, like the final nail in the coffin of any chance you had to walk this back. The idea that it's no longer a secret... it's enough to make your chest tighten, and you're not even sure why.

"Jesus, it's such a mess." You rub a hand over your face as frustration simmers beneath your skin.

Tina, who's been watching you intently with a mix of apprehension and confusion, suddenly makes a smile and sits down beside you. She places a hand lightly on your arm: -Come on, big brother. If Daddy's okay with our love, then maybe it's...- her voice falters, her expression shifting mid-sentence to something darker, tinged with sadness: -...maybe he's right, you know. I mean, we all are happy. Right?-.

-Tina... Mom...- You groan, leaning back in your chair, as if surrendering to the sheer absurdity of it all.

-Oh, sweetheart.- Your mother steps behind you, resting her hands gently on your shoulders. Her touch is warm, comforting in a way that somehow makes it worse: -I know it's a lot to take in, all these changes. It must be so stressful for you. No wonder you’ve been such a little Peeping Tom!- she teases, her lips quirking into a faint smile before curling down again.

She crouches slightly, bringing her face closer to yours: -Maybe I was wrong to ground you here.- she says softly. -Why don't you take a walk? There's a nice little bar nearby that makes amazing ice cream. Your sisters and I just went there.-.

She straightens and glances at your father: -Robert, dear, would you mind keeping an eye on him a little longer?-.

The man she's cheating on with you, the man who seems utterly unbothered by that fact, nods silently and rises from his chair. You groan internally, but you grab your wallet and follow him out. Maybe she's right. Maybe you just need to cool off. But as you step into the humid evening air, unease lingers. For years, you'd dreamed of this. Now that it’s real, it feels like it's all spiraling out of control, every step pushing you further into the unknown.

As you're about to move, the memory of this morning flickers through your mind: your conversation with Lexie, the last appearance of normality you've experienced this morning. A sudden chill runs down your spine. The idea of your family finding out about her terrifies you, though you can't say why. They don't know about her. They can't, you’ve never mentioned her. And even if they did, what could they possibly do?

...

-Son? Are you ok?- Your father asks, his tone too distant, too hollow to feel genuine.

You **** a smile and nod, shaking off the tension: -Yeah, let's... let's go, Dad.-.

As soon as the door closes behind your son and husband, Kim folds her arms across her modest chest, her expression sharp and challenging.

-Well? Nice move, getting Dad to say those things to Tom. But we agreed on no secrets, remember? Maybe we should’ve discussed it together.-.

Your thirdborn, standing nearby, fidgets uncomfortably, her gaze fixed on the floor. There's something more than agreement in her demeanor—a flicker of unease you can't quite place.

-Yes, we did agree.- You reply coolly, straightening your posture: -And we also agreed that, as the mother, I'd take the lead in situations like this.-.

You pause deliberately, letting the weight of your words settle before adding: -Or at least, that's what I’d say if I had instructed Robert to make that confession. But I think one of you already knows that's not the case.-.

Your eyes sweep between your daughters, searching for a reaction. Kim raises an eyebrow, unimpressed, while Tina blinks in genuine confusion.

-Wait, what? That wasn't you? Kim?- Tina turns toward her sister, her voice tinged with disbelief. If she's acting, she's quite good.

Kim seems to deliberate for a moment, her lips pursed as though weighing her options. Then she clicks her tongue in mock annoyance: -'No secrets' my ass. Alright, seems like someone here is playing their own game. Fine. Let's play.-.

You sigh deeply, shaking your head. Classical non-denial reply, you've learned to detect them in your job.

Tina, visibly upset, grimaces as her eyes redden: -Mom, Kim! What even is this? What's going on?-. As she doesn't get an answer, she turns on her heel, stomping toward the door: -You're unbelievable!-.

-Tina, wait...- you call after her, but it's no use. She's already gone, leaving you and Kim alone in tense silence. You turn back to your eldest, frustration evident in your voice: -At least I hope you're satisfied.-.

-I don't know. Are you satisfied?-.

You press your fingers to your temples, exhaling slowly. -You know I could just ask your father what really happened, right?-.

-And what good would that do?- Kim shoots back flatly: -For all we know, you've already given him other instructions to tell us a lie. Or maybe Tina has. Or, me, I guess.-.

You sink into a chair, disheartened, your tone softening: -Well, if the goal here, as I suspect, was to make things easier between us, it's done exactly the opposite. So tell me, honey, since it was my idea to be honest with Tom from the start, why would I go behind your backs like this?-.

-I don't know.- She shrugs, her impudent expression not changing: -Maybe because you knew Tina was starting to have doubts about coming clean and instead you're having opposite ideas. This could’ve been your way of forcing her hand, setting her up with a half-truth.-.

-Or.- You counter: -It could've been her way of finding a compromise with her own scruples.-.

The room falls silent, your words hanging in the air. Kim finally breaks the tension with a sigh.

-Look, Mom, I wouldn't have minded Dad blessing our... arrangement with Tom, if it hadn't led to this conversation. Clearly, I'm making my plans, you're making yours, and maybe Tina's doing the same. But I hate being someone else's pawn.-.

-Fuck, you're so hot.- Kim can hear Jessica Harris's voice whispering, making her pause for a second. You clear out your throat, brushing away that consideration, then: -Fine, white flag. Whoever orchestrated this, I don't mind the outcome. No harm done, no pawns here. Let's just move forward and get along, alright?-.

-Hm. Convenient way out.- Kim observes, her tone skeptical.

You frown, your patience waning. She sighs again, waving a hand dismissively: -Fine. For now. But don't think I won't take precautions.-.

-Suit yourself, apple of my eye.- You reply with faint sarcasm.

Kim wrinkles her nose, clearly unimpressed, before turning and heading to her room. The door closes with a decisive click, leaving you alone in the now-quiet living room.

Leaning back in your chair, you let your head tip back, your blonde hair spilling over your shoulders. You exhale a long breath, staring up at the ceiling.

-Quite a start to the holiday, huh?-.

-Tom!- You call out, rushing down the lightly crowded street. Your brother, walking with a hunched back beside your dad, turns to face you, his expression a mix of confusion and concern. You catch up, slightly out of breath.

-I thought I'd see you later.- He says, puzzled by your sudden appearance. His eyes quickly scan your face, noting the tension in your features: -What's wrong? Are you okay?-.

You hesitate, fumbling for words: -Yes, I just...-. The truth feels impossible to explain. I just needed to be near you while Mom and Kim argue over who brainwashed Dad is not something you can say.

-...I just wanted to apologize.- You finally manage, voice soft but earnest.

-Oh. Thanks.- He mutters, taken aback. He looks like he’s about to ask for specifics, but you already know you owe him an explanation: at least, as much as you can give.

-I'm sorry if we're overwhelming you.- You begin: -I... I thought I understood you. That I knew what you wanted, what you'd feel. I assumed you'd just... be fine with the new sides of me. Of us. But I was wrong, wasn't I?-.

His lips tremble, his uneasiness apparent: -It's not that I don't like it.- he admits, voice low.

-It's just... well...- He gestures vaguely toward your father, who's standing silently nearby: -Dad didn't even blink when we talked earlier. And then there's you, changing so suddenly, becoming someone I barely recognize. I can't even say it out loud, you know?-.

Your gaze drops, guilt weighing heavily in your chest.

-I do want to be with you like that.- He continues after a pause. -Honestly, it's what I’ve always wanted. But now, I can't help but wonder... if something happened. Something bad. I keep asking myself if... if I even know you anymore, Tina.-.

His words cut deep. Gosh, you feel so stupid: you knew that it wasn't just lust, but love, and that you'd be terrified if your family suddenly became different people. You thought you’d known yourself, but you're only just realizing how far you've changed, how much a stranger you are since you're in Tina's head and not anymore in his one.

-I'm sorry.- You whisper again, your small, trembling frame betraying your emotions. Just like yesterday, you want to tell him the whole truth, to risk everything and let him decide. But fear grips you: the fear of rejection, of his judgment. The words stick in your throat.

-I'm sorry. I... I love you, Tom, I swear. I wish I could... I could...- Your voice breaks into a sob, tears streaming down your cheeks. Before you can collapse into despair, you feel his hands gently rest on your shoulders. His touch is warm, steady, grounding.

-Hey... don't cry, Tina. It's okay. Really.- He says softly, his smile bittersweet.

-I'm sorry, I shouldn't have been that harsh. I guess I'm just a little... nervous...-.

Your heart races. He's so close now, his breath mingling with yours.

It feels surreal to look up at him—at your old face, the one you'd seen in the mirror for nineteen years. That same face, now strong and protective, towers over your smaller, more delicate frame. Your old body, once dismissed as lanky, now seems powerful and masculine. Even his hands, once your hands, feel foreign and captivating. While your current hands, if you raised them, you would see how much more slender, and delicate, and feminine they are. Just like the rest of your whole self, down to every little inch you can sense; from your long blonde hair lapping at your tender neck, to the soft constraint of the bra hugging your boobs, to the sensations turbinating in your chest.

You're mesmerized. By yourself. By him. The realization hits you like a wave: you love him, not just as Tina, but wholly, as the person you’ve become. As a woman.

-Tom... can we... can we kiss?- You ask meekly, your voice trembling. He tightens his lips, glancing briefly at your silent father. Then he gives a small, crooked smile, the same smile you'd worn countless times before. It's devastatingly handsome.

You lean in together, your arms wrapping around him as your lips meet. You're in the middle of people, but you don't care, to them, you're just a young couple sharing a moment. The kiss is soft, warm, and tender, filling you with a sense of safety and belonging. In his embrace, the world seems to fall away, leaving only the two of you.

-Thank you.- You whisper as you pull back, still holding him close.

-Well, you're my girlfriend, right?- He teases, a nervous laugh escaping him. You giggle, wiping the tears from your face as you step back, composing yourself.

-Hey, by the way.- You say, breaking the tension: -Mom mentioned there's a beach party tonight. Maybe we could go—you, me, and Kim. Relax a little. Have some fun.-.

He hesitates, concern flickering in his eyes. You know why, of course. But after a moment, he nods.

-Sure. But no more games like with the sunscreen, okay?- He says with a smirk.

You grin, playful now, the weight of your earlier emotions lightened: -Scout's honor. But be warned: beer suds won't be the only foam I’ll be after tonight.~-.

His laugh is soft, and the two of you walk together down the street, your father trailing silently behind. For now, at least, there's peace.