Cross the River Volga

"Are you ready?" Evgeny asks me, buttoning up the coat to his combat uniform.

"No." I answer, pulling on my boots.

"Nobody could be ready for this." He mutters, wrapping his bandolier around his waist.

"Orders are orders." He says, standing up and placing his helmet on his head.

"Shall we go?" I ask, standing up and bringing my helmet to my own head.

Evgeny takes the helmet out of my hands, and kisses my forehead. He pulls my body into him for a long embrace. I look over my shoulder then give him a quick kiss on the lips. Evgeny pushes my helmet down over my head, and cocks it.

"Let's go." He says, picking up his rifle and slinging it over his shoulder.

I straighten my helmet, pick up my own rifle, and follow him. The two of us leave the hospital, and Evgeny leads me down a street. We reach a corner and stop for a moment to watch a column of Soviet troops being herded towards the river by gangs of commissars and military police, barking orders and marching alongside them. Evgeny and I turn the corner.

We look upon a city of fire. Dark clouds of smoke loom ominously over Stalingrad, pouring from burning buildings. Explosions erupt across the landscape.

"Fuck." is the only word I can mutter. I'm going over there.

"Move!" A commissar barks at us, and Evgeny and I are shoved into the column of soldiers. They look like a bunch of young, inexperienced conscripts. Every one of them has a look of primal terror in their eyes. I know that this is a look that I must share with them.

"Forwards, comrades, into the boats!" A commissar shouts through a megaphone. "Forwards!"

Evgeny and I are guided onto the docks and crammed into the back of a packed barge behind a tugboat. Men are thrown into the boat, colliding with each other. There is barely room to stand. I cling tightly to Evgeny with shaking hands.

The crowd lets out a gasp as the boat starts to move. A commissar walks along the side, above everybody. In one hand he carries a megaphone. In the other he carries a PPSh.

"We are in a historic moment, comrades!" The commissar begins. "You have all been given the opportunity to defend our glorious motherland, in the city bearing the name of our great leader!"

We begin to pull away from the Eastern bank.

"Hitler has ordered his fascist dogs to take our city, but they have underestimated us!"

"The fascists think we are demoralized, but they are wrong! They will crumble beneath the might of the Red Army! Urah!'

I hear a few weak, scattered cries of "Urah!" from around the barge. We are beginning to approach the middle of the river.

"Glorious Comrade Stalin has ordered, not one step back!" The commissar roars into his megaphone. An artillery shell explodes in the river, spraying us with freezing water and rocking the barge. Somebody cries out.

"No surrender! No retreat!" The commissar barks. Another shell explodes. A sense of panic grips the crowd. I hear the roaring of an engine coming closer and closer. I look over to see a German fighter plane coming right for us.

"There is no land for us behind the Volga! We will fight to the last!"

The fighter’s guns roars to life from above, ripping through the front section of the crowd. Men scream and push back. I cling tightly to Evgeny.

A man tries to climb out of the barge but the commissar steps in his path. "Stay down!" He barks, and points his PPSh at him. The man fearfully retreats into the crowd.

"Cowards and traitors will be shot!" The commissar shouts into the megaphone.

A boat next to us erupts in flames as it is hit with a shell, men and cargo thrown from it and into the river. The crowd gasps and turns their heads. The boat begins to sink in the river. We sail onward.

"Remember, comrades, that it is for our Soviet Motherland, that you are giving your lives! For our people!"

I hear the buzzing of the fighter plane again, and the crowd gasps in fear and panic. We all turn and look up. I try to make myself as small as I can and shut my eyes tightly. Evgeny shields my body with his own. The guns roar to life again and shred through the middle of the barge, killing several more men. Another shell explodes nearby, drenching us with more freezing water and rocking the barge.

"Do not count the days!" The commissar shouts passionately. "Do not count the hours!"

"Count only the number of Germans that you have killed! It is the only number that matters!"

"Oh, god, he's coming back again!" Somebody yells from ahead of us. The commissar carries on, unfazed.

"Killing fascists is the only thing you should think of from this moment, for the rest of your lives!"

The engine roars louder and louder. I shake in my boots. I grit my teeth, and wait for **** to come.

"Kill the enemy!" The commissar barks. "Kill them a-

The machine guns roar to life again, tearing through the commissar's back and the rear of the barge, just a few men away from us. The commissar falls down into the crowd.

The barge carries on, everybody standing in awkward silence, panic, and fear. Nobody knows what to do.

Evgeny starts to push towards the side.

"Don't do it." I beg, pulling his sleeve. "Just stay down."

Evgeny yanks his arm away from me and climbs up on the side of the barge. The crowd shifts their attention to him. He ducks and holds his helmet when another shell explodes nearby.

"I know how pointless all of this must seem to you now!" Evgeny yells out. "But we must fight with everything we have!"

I stretch my head to see. We are getting closer to the Western bank.

"We have a reason to fight! We fight for what is behind us! These are our homes, our people!"

"Urah!" Somebody cries out.

"What do the fascists have to fight for?" Evgeny asks. "Nothing!"

"That is what awaits them here! Nothing but cold, bitter, ****!" Evgeny cries. "We will make their lives a living hell! Send them crawling back to their fuhrer with their tails between their legs!"

The dock comes into view through the smoke, the sounds of battle growing louder and louder. Shells continue to explode around us.

"Don't let me kill more than you!" Evgeny yells. "They will NEVER take our city!"

"We are all going to die either way, so let us die as heroes! Urah!"

Cries of "Urah!" erupt from the crowd. I jump in with my own "Urah!"

The barge pulls alongside the docks.

"Let's go!" Evgeny yells to me.

I try not to step on any bodies on my way out.