Cookies and

It took what felt like ages for my heaving sobs to subside into hiccups and sniffles. My makeup was definitely ruined. Figuring I'd already gotten so much of it on my jacket, I wiped up what I could on my sleeve and shambled my way into the kitchen. My mom was in there, wearing an apron and puttering around the oven. She had a dab of flour on her nose -- a tradition she'd started when I was little and we would cook or bake together. She didn't miss a beat as she saw me.

"Got your crying through?" She asked, brushing past me to open the oven.

"...what...what do you mean?" I asked, struggling to figure out why she was so nonchalant. I had just been bawling my eyes out, there was no way she hadn't heard me. Besides, I could never hide anything usually wasn't this cold. Was she really mad at me for crying just after my heart got broken?

"Cookies?" She asked, straightening up from the oven. My mom's cookies weren't just any cookies. They were heaven cookies. Buttery, flaky, gooey, crispy, magic cookies. Seriously. I teared up again as I grabbed a cookie and nibbled gingerly at it. They say that in the throes of depression food tastes like ash, but damn. These cookies still hit the spot. I smiled up at my mom through the tears.

"Thanks." I said.

"Of course, Honey. Now tell me everything. I heard just enough to figure I'd better get some comfort going. What are we dealing with?"

"M-max... Max has a girlfriend."

"Ah."

"And she's... she's perfect Mom! She's beautiful, she's smart, she's mature, she's got an incredible body... like, the way her ass moves it's one of those ones that just makes you want to..." I trailed off, noting my mother's raised eyebrow. "Um, you know what I mean. Like, I can't compete with that! I just... I don't know what to do. I have absolutely NO way to make Max choose me."

"How long have they been together?"

"Six months. There's no way I can catch up!"

My mom laughed, grabbing a cookie and sucking on the edge of it before taking a bite. "I love you Leslie, but you're an idiot."

"I know, and she's so smart! She's studying biochemistry, and --"

"That's not what I meant Leslie." I shut up, watching my mom take a slow bite. "You're trying to 'catch up'? To what?"

"Well they've been dating six months already, and --"

"And how long have you known Max?"

I paused, considering her question. "Umm... like..." I started counting on my fingers, trying to figure out when we'd first met.

"Pretty much forever, right?" she said, giving me a pointed look.

"Well... yeah."

"What's Max's favorite hobby?"

"Dungeons and Dragons I guess? Or maybe video games? He really likes monkeys too, is that a hobby? I don't get where you're going with this."

"What's Max's favorite food?"

"Crappy cheap pizza."

"What's are his goals?"

"He wants to create a non-profit to teach kids about animals that they're scared of so that they learn not to be so scared of them." I answered immediately. "This is totally just basic stuff about Max."

"You said this girl -- what's her name?"

"Nessa."

"Nessa or whatever, she's smart and mature and beautiful?"

"She's drop-dead gorgeous mom."

"yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's gorgeous or whatever. Does she support Max?"

I frowned. "What do you mean?"

My Mom sighed, like she was explaining math to a four-year-old. "Does she support him? His dreams? Does she care about the man he'll become? Does she know what he wants, what he cares about? Does she make him laugh?"

"I... I don't know." I answered honestly. I really didn't know how well they knew each other.

My mom stared into my eyes, a serious expression on her face. "Do you?"

I thought back to my times growing up with Max. Giggling together at a stupid joke, talking about what we wanted out of life, telling him to go to college and get a degree so he could start his company... "Yeah. So much."

"There you go." My mom settled back and started to munch on her cookie, acting like the matter was settled.

"What do you mean 'there you go'? That doesn't help me mom! I can't seduce Max by supporting his dreams! He's got a hot blonde bombshell girlfriend that I can't do anything about!"

My mom sighed again, looking me up and down. "Look Leslie, you are NOT an ugly girl. In fact, you're just as gorgeous as you think Nessa is." My mom held up a finger to silence my protests and continued. "But that's not the point. You see, there's a lot more to seduction than looks. Do you think I was the prettiest woman your dad knew? Believe me, he could have had any one of us. But we had a relationship. Do you understand? Guys don't pick the hottest girl they can have sex with -- well, some do, but Max isn't one of those guys. Max is kind, thoughtful, loyal, and honest. Guys like that pick girls that they can trust. That they can rely on. That they know." She took my chin in her hand, lifting my head until my eyes met hers. "You don't have to be the prettiest girl to be the sexiest," she said. "you need to be the one he can make a life with."

She let my chin go, patting my head as she stood up. "Anyways, that's enough lecturing from me. I know only a few words of that will make it into your head, but it's my job as your mother to do it anyways."

"Thanks mom." I meant it. I hadn't considered the advantage I had as Max's best friend. I had a whole slew of information that Nessa could only dream about knowing. I had the home field advantage! I've spent my whole life getting to know him, and the whole past two years dreaming about how to be the perfect woman for him. There's no WAY Nessa will be able to compete!

I smiled. "There it is," my mother said, grinning back at me. "So you got a plan to beat this bitch or what?"

"MOM, language!" I yelped. I had never heard her swear before.

"What? If that girl thinks she can waltz into my home, make my daughter cry, and steal her man without being called a bitch than she's got another thing coming!"

I laughed, standing up. "Thanks mom! I don't have any concrete plans yet, but... I'll think of something. Max and I belong together."

"Atta girl. Yes you do!"

I grabbed another cookie and headed for the stairs. I turned back to my mom to ask one last question. "Mom... why do you care so much anyways? I know it's like your job and stuff to care about me, but you seem personally invested."

My mom laughed and smiled at me. "That obvious, huh? Well, I know I'm supposed to be impartial about these things as an adult, but I really like Max! I've wanted you two to get together for years. Besides... you and Max would make the cutest grandkids for me!"

I laughed, walking up the stairs to my room. "Let's hope so!" I shouted, flopping onto my bed with a smile on my face. Time to plan **** on this 'bitch'.