Control

I can’t lie to my Dad, but I can hide. I couldn’t tell him the truth about my bike, the bike he worked so hard to get for me. What would I tell him? That the boy he just shook hands with, the boy he thinks is my boyfriend, has a real girlfriend? That I watched her destroy my bike to get back at me for coming on her boyfriend’s face? I can barely believe it myself.

So instead I told him someone stole it, which wasn’t really a lie. I had to beg him not to do anything about it. He was ready to call the police, the school administration, the fucking national guard if he had to. He was livid. But I reminded him what he always told me. We need to keep our heads down. Nobody is going to give a shit about us and our missing bike, and it would just put a target on us. That got him to calm down, but I could tell he was still simmering about it.

My dreams were a nightmare I never wanted to escape. I could go anywhere. I could fly. But everywhere I went there was someone watching, someone who hated me, their gaze like ice freezing the blood in my veins. But when I stopped running, stopped trying to fly away, he was there. Holding me. Surrounding me. There was nowhere to run, but I could hide in him. I just turned away from the cold menacing darkness of the world and faced to him, giving him my hands, my lips, my heart, me, and his strength kept the hatred out and his warmth his heat lit a fire within that turned my frozen blood into molten lava pumping through my veins so hot, burning ever hotter but there’s no pain, no pain with him just being safe, safe and warm, safe and warm and held and squeezed and touched and entered and consumed until there’s nothing of me left, nothing for anyone else to see I only exist in his touch.

I’m still coming when I wake up, gasping and trembling in my bed, my panties soaked through and a stain on my sheets. I just lay there, soaking in my own sweat and secretions, trying to hold on to that fading sensation from the dream. A tight ball of joy forms in my chest when I remember what he said yesterday. He’s coming to pick me up. I get to see him soon. I get to touch him again.

I throw my bedsheets in the washing machine and take a quick shower before breakfast. It’s not what I usually do on a Saturday morning, but I’ve never had a date on a Saturday either. My Dad is still fuming about the lost bike over breakfast. He barely speaks a word to me, but after finishing his eggs and coffee he twists his mouth around the question “So you’re sure you locked it up? You weren’t maybe careless by mistake?”

I look him in the eyes, and quickly look down at the table when I see the accusation in them. He thinks this is my fault. Which, really, it kind of is. I’m the one who couldn’t stay away from Derek. I’m the one who made Mina angry enough to take **** on me. But now that I’ve hidden the truth I can’t change course. “I… I don’t think so. I locked it up the same way I did every morning.” Now I am lying. I didn’t lock it up, Derek did. I just lied to my Dad. My mouth twists into a grimace as I commit to the deception. “Maybe… maybe they had bolt cutters or something.”

He smacks his hand on the table, making me jump. “Even more reason to get the authorities involved, then! If someone like that is around using professional thieving tools, something must be done!”

“Dad…” I’m saved by a knock on the door. Holy shit, he’s here.

Even my Dad seems distracted from his anger, his eyes lighting up as he looks down the short hallway to the front door. “That must be Derek! I’ll invite him in!”

I’m up from the table in a flash, reaching the front door before my Dad has even risen from his seat. I open it and sunlight pours into the entryway, framing Derek’s tall muscular frame in a glorious halo. Oh my god he’s so handsome I just want to melt. “Hey, Derek.”

He smiles, but his eyebrows furrow as he looks me over. “You’re wearing that?” He looks behind me, his face seamlessly shifting into a polite grin. “Good morning, Karan. Mind if I borrow your daughter?”

My Dad sounds like he’s stifling a giggle. “Of course not! What a perfect day for it! Are you sure I can’t invite you in for some coffee first?”

“‘Fraid not, got a big day ahead of us. I’ll have her back before bedtime.” He offers my Dad his hand and they shake, and for a second it feels like I’m being handed over. That feeling intensifies when Derek takes his hand back from my Dad and grabs mine with it, pulling me after him out to his car.

“Have fun, kids!” My Dad waves goodbye, and I look back over my shoulder and wave back, suddenly wondering where Derek is taking me.

We get in his old yellow mustang and he takes us out on the road. I’m immediately put off guard because this time he doesn’t pull me over next to him. I’m left there clenching the hand that was holding his, wanting his touch but unable to ask for it.

Derek looks over at me. “So you really didn’t have anything cuter to wear?”

I shrink into my seat, looking down at my clothes. It’s a little too warm for sweatshirts, so I’m just wearing a dark green tshirt and my standard blue jeans. I never really thought about my clothes much these days. Dressing nondescript is second nature to me now. “Um, not really.”

Derek blows a raspberry as he drives us down the road out of town. “Seriously? Damn.” He looks over at me, and I try to shrink even smaller. “I was hoping to see you in some kinda pretty little getup. Ah well.” He looks back at the road, then back to me. “Maybe I’ll take you shopping for clothes later. I think we can still find something fun to do today.”

My thoughts bubble up through the muck of self-loathing Derek’s words had pushed me into. Shopping for clothes? Isn’t that something couples do? “What are we doing today, anyway?” Another thought, this one painful and poisonous. “And what about Mina?”

He makes a sound like a cough. “Jesus, will you shut the fuck up about her?” He looks at me again, his eyes angry, making me cringe away. “Why do you care so much about her anyway?”

I stare back at him, eyes wide. Why do I care about her? She destroyed my bike. She threatened me with worse. “She’s your girlfriend.” The words sound hollow as I say them.

Derek rolls his eyes and looks back at the road. “Yeah, so what?”

“So why aren’t you with her right now?” I don’t want him to be I want him to be with me touching me but I can’t get her terrifying smile out of my head.

He’s silent for a minute. “She’s got better things to do.”

I’m silent for a minute, waiting for more. “Oh.” I wait a little longer. “So… where are we going?”

That gets him to smile again. “Somewhere special. I know a spot, I wanna show you.” He looks at me again, and that smile sharpens. “And I wanna have some fun with you.”

All of a sudden my heart is pounding and my breath is short. “Oh.” I squirm a little on the bench. I can’t help it. “Okay.”

“Why are you so far away from me?” He doesn’t look away from the road. “I like you when you’re closer.”

I scoot a little bit closer, my body tingling as I draw near, and then he takes us around a curve SO sharp and sudden and I’m thrown against him yelping in surprise, clinging to him, the impact and the heat of his body making me sparkle all over oh I missed touching him. “Holy shit, Derek!”

He puts an arm around me. “Much better.” He squeezes me, and I can’t help but let out a little moan. “Did you like that?”

Yes. “No.”

Derek chuckles and squeezes me again, pulling me hard against him and my body relaxes, conforming to his shape as my breath escapes me in a blissful sigh. “You know Cassie, you’re a pretty bad liar.”

We stay like that for a while, him driving us through the forest and past the other small towns dotting the peninsula, me soaking in his heat, breathing in his scent, my mind filling with thoughts of all the fun he wants to have with me. The sky outside the windows is perfect, blue dotted with puffy white clouds. The trees and water sliding past us pacify me with their beauty. A thought pricks against the warm contentment in my body, I don’t know where he’s taking me, I don’t have any control over what’s going to happen to me today. It’s entirely up to him. I stiffen ever so slightly, a cold rush of fear running through me. This is still Derek, after all. And then, as quickly as the thought arrived, I shoo it away. I want to be with him, I want to go wherever he’s taking me, I want to do whatever he wants to do with me. I don’t care anymore. I nuzzle up against him and start to kiss his neck, humming softly to myself, giggling with carefree joy when his hand slips from my shoulder to find my breast.

I don’t even notice when he pulls us off the road and stops the car. I’m already lost in him, my mouth pressed against the cleft between his neck and jaw, my hand exploring the firm expanse of his chest, my body singing with pleasure as he gently plays with my tit. He lets me keep going like that for a bit before gently shrugging me off him. “Look, here we are.”

Reluctantly, I turn my face away from him to look out the windshield. He’s parked us on an overlook, a stand of trees shielding us from the rural highway, and across the water I see the navy base where his dad is the commander. “Oh, wow.”

Derek chuckles. “Pretty cool, right?” He stretches his hand out towards it. “Billions of dollars of military hardware, one of the most strategically important places in the whole country, and my dad controls it all.” He lets his hand fall. “And I can see everything from up here. I like to just sit here sometimes, watching it. Imagine what it’s like to have that much power.”

I look at the base, at the stain of grey-brown buildings on the forest and the massive steel triangle of the submarine dock piercing the water. Then I look over at Derek, at the way his eyes fill with a blend of pride and envy as he takes it all in. He does have that much power. Over me. “You have a secret place, too.”

He looks at me, puzzled. “What do you mean?”

I blush, surprised at myself for letting that out. Leaning my head against his shoulder, I mutter “Nothing. Thanks for taking me here.”

He’s quiet for a moment, then he grabs my left hand. “Don’t thank me yet.” He moves it into his lap, and I suck in a breath. “I have something for you. Why don’t you open it?”

I want to. I can feel it. It’s so hard so hot I want to feel it more. I try to take another breath to steady myself but my heart is beating so hard it’s like the breath won’t come. I slowly move my fingers, popping the button of his jeans open, and then pull down the zipper, the sound of it so loud in the quiet car. I can see the shape of it, straining against his boxers. What do I do now? Do I pull the boxers down, or… there’s an opening, a little pocket, I reach inside and I’m touching it. Holy shit I’m touching his cock, its heat burning my skin, I grasp it and pull and then it’s free of its confines, springing up tall and proud in his lap and my hand is around it I’m touching it looking at it smelling it oh my god.

“Do you like it?” Derek squeezes my shoulder.

Do I like it? I love it. I’d always been too nervous to look for a picture of one, a real one like this. I’d seen medical diagrams in health class. I’d read lurid descriptions of them in my romance stories. But this… nothing could have prepared me for this. It radiates power, filling my hand, throbbing with energy, the glistening head just peeking out from the straining foreskin. It’s beautiful, it’s perfect, I want it I want it so bad. “Yeah, I like it.”

“Why don’t you try stroking it a little?” Derek moves his hand back to my breast and gives me an encouraging squeeze.

I move my hand, slowly, gently, gasping as it twitches in response. “Like… like this, Derek?”

“Mmmm, yeah, that’s real nice. You can grip it a little firmer. MMMH, yeah, JUST like that. Good girl.”

I make a little whine of joy. Holy shit I’m really doing this. I’m stroking a hard cock, Derek’s hard cock, and he likes it. I’m making him feel good. He called me a good girl. Why does that make me so happy?

“Here, I’ve got something else to show you. Keep doing what you’re doing.” He pulls his phone out of his pocket. My eyes are still locked on his hardness throbbing in my hand, so I don’t notice when he turns it on. “This is what I like to look at when I’m jacking off. I figured it’d feel even better to have you do it yourself.”

That gets me to look up, and I see myself. It’s the picture of me, holding my shirt up to expose my bare chest, my eyes closed mouth open begging for a kiss. A kiss from Derek. A kiss from the boy who has me all alone in his car, stroking his cock for him. I feel an absence. There should be a feeling of shock, or shame, or revulsion at what I’m looking at. But I’m too far gone now. All I feel is hot, wonderful throbbing heat right between my legs.

Derek squeezes my tit painfully hard, making me squirm, but not making me stop stroking him. “You know, I thought I might need to use this picture to get what I want from you. I had fantasies of using this to control you. I’d beat my meat imagining all the things I could get you to do with this pic in my pocket.” He finds my nipple through my shirt and teases it. “But you don’t need anything like that, do you? You want to do what I say, right? You like it.”

Oh I do, I do like it. I like it when he tells me what to do. I like it when he touches me however he pleases. I like it when he calls me a good girl. “Mmm yeah Derek. I like it.”

“So I guess now this pic is just for fun, huh?” He lets out a long sigh. “Keep going, I’m really close.”

I move my hand a little faster, grip him a little firmer, thrilling at the feeling of it throbbing in my hand, tingling at the thought of making him happy. “You’re close? I’m gonna make you come?” Even now these words sound like someone else’s. This isn’t what I sound like. But it feels good to say them. It feels good to sound like this.

“Oh fuck yeah, Cassie, just like that. You like jerking me off while I look at your tits?”

Oh god yes. “Mmmm yeah Derek I love jerking your hard cock.”

“AAhhhh yeah, that’s it, that’s it… you like being a good girl for me, Cassie?”

I’m not thinking anymore, just feeling, and my feelings bring my mouth up to his ear as I whisper “I’m your good girl, Derek.”

“Ah FUCK! YES! OHHHHHHHhhhh…” He’s coming. Holy shit he’s coming in my hand. His dick is pulsing and there’s hot white cum shooting from the tip, little arcs landing in a splatter over my hand still moving on him. “Ah! Ah! Stop stop stop too much holy shit.”

I reluctantly release my grip and pull my messy hand away, staring at Derek’s jizz coating my skin. It’s so warm, so thick, so pungent. I can’t help myself my hand is moving up to my mouth and I’m licking it off, licking myself clean, my head spinning with the taste the sensation of it sliding over my tongue and down my throat. I look up at him, suddenly embarrassed. Did he want me to do that?

That sharp smile is back on his face. “Holy fuck, Cassie. You really are a good girl.” Without warning he’s kissing me, his tongue strong and hot chasing his cum down my throat, forcing me to moan in utter bliss. He stops as suddenly as he started, pulling away just a little, drowning me in his green eyes. “There’s something else I wanted to do while we’re here.”

Anything. Anything for you, Derek. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” His eyes move over my body and then back to mine. “I want to take some more pictures.”