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Chapter 118
by
Vox121
Point of View Shift
Comfort Zone 1/2 (Alexis PoV)
I couldn’t stop staring at myself. The woman who stared back at me from the mirror looked so foreign. My carefully applied makeup, the fitted jeans with my favorite top, it all felt strangely formal, despite being casual—as if I’d dressed for a performance rather than... whatever this was. The last time I’d gone on a date like this was… damn, it wasn’t that long ago, was it? When was the last time it wasn’t a booty call or a hookup after a party? It had to be high school at least, and even then, I hadn’t been on that many.
A flash of memory hit me: fumbling in the backseat of Kevin Mitchell’s car junior year, not even bothering with dinner first. I’d never seen the point of the whole ritual, and Kevin never struck me as a conversationalist. If I remember correctly, I asked him out after hearing he was packing something special. He hadn’t been, but the enthusiasm was nice.
Back then, there hadn’t been much point to the whole ‘dating’ thing. I knew what I wanted, and no amount of social etiquette was going to change it. Sex was sex, and if the guy was cute, then all the better. The ‘date’ I had with Jake and Chloe had been stressful, but for other reasons.
Tonight was just Chloe and me. An actual date. A normal, honest-to-God date with dinner and conversation and... not a single expectation for what was going to happen after. Was that what made it worse? The unknown destination this path was taking me down?
“Well, this is a strange turn of events.” I turned to see an amused look on my sister’s face as she leaned against the door frame. “Here you are, going off to a date while I jump from hookup to hookup.”
That was certainly true. I was used to being on the other side of the dynamic, and now I felt like I was fumbling around in the dark. How easy it was when there were no... expectations. Instead of focusing on the unknown ahead of me, I fell back into the familiar as I gave Natalie a smirk. “Having a few dates fizzle out hardly counts as hooking up.”
My sister rolled her eyes, pushing off the frame. “Says the girl who once came home with three phone numbers from a funeral.”
“That was one time,” I protested. “I just wanted to be… supportive. Besides, they were distantly related to the deceased and weren’t all that close, so it wasn’t weird.” A pause as bubbles of memory floated through my head. “And hot. Very hot.”
The moment she stepped towards me, I felt any bluster I had deflate. She reached out to smooth some wrinkle only visible to her, then took a step back and looked me over. Her expression softened into something I rarely saw directed at me: pride without judgment.
“I’m proud of you.”
That... wasn’t what I expected. I’d done a lot of shit since it was just Natalie and I, and none of it was something worthy of those words. “For what?” I hated how small my voice was. My mouth went dry as my stomach twisted itself into knots. Damn nerves were getting to me.
“For taking a chance and letting someone in. Chloe’s great, and you deserve to be happy.”
“Even after everything?” The words slipped out before I could stop them, echoing our countless late-night conversations after I’d messed up again. Arguments, if I was being honest.
Natalie’s hand squeezed my shoulder. “Especially after everything. You think I haven’t noticed you’ve changed? You haven’t brought anyone home in weeks.” Well, yeah. It was always easier to go elsewhere. Fewer complications when it was time to bail.
Even then...
My eyes fell away as that twisting worry ate at me. “It’s not just her though...”
She lightly flicked my ear, causing me to glare at her. “Tonight is just the two of you, right? Don’t worry about anything else and enjoy your night together.” Her eyes went over to the clock and she pushed me away from the mirror. “Now stop worrying and have fun.”
I let myself be led, trying to gather what little composure I could before leaving my bedroom. I hesitated at the door, glancing back at my sister. She made a shooing motion, an encouraging smile seeing me off. With a breath, I opened the door.
“Don’t come back early!” she said as I stepped outside. I paused, turning to give her a confused look. “I finally get the night to myself, and I’m going to take advantage of it!”
Shaking my head, I closed the door behind me knowing full well she was just going to stay in tonight. Just because she was a bit more accepting on her dates didn’t mean she was anywhere near my level. Though lately... I took a breath and released it slowly as I tried not to think about the last time I’d gotten laid—a lapse that was growing increasingly noticeable.
Another pause in front of the familiar door. Another war inside of me as my gaze lingered. Should I tell him I’m leaving? God, that was stupid. He was literally my date’s boyfriend. Technically my boyfriend too, though I was really struggling with that one. I rubbed at my arm, not liking the unsettling feeling looming over me. I hated this. I was so completely out of my depth, not just on the dating front, but on relationships in general. Leave it to me to try a complex multi-layered relationship first thing and not a normal one between two people.
A deep breath as I focused my determination. Natalie was right. Tonight, only Chloe mattered.
I went by bus, ignoring the lingering gaze of a few guys. Yeah, I was hot as hell, but there was no satisfaction in the attention. Where was the usual thrill that came from knowing I could have any of them if I wanted? That power that normally surged through me when I caught someone staring? What the hell was wrong with me?
Though one was kinda cute... I gave him a smile, checking him out before I caught myself.
Fuck me. Why? Why couldn’t I be normal, just once? My reflection in the bus window looked panicked, cheeks flushed with shame. I prayed it was just my lack of action the past few weeks messing with my head and not some deep seeded character flaw. Was I destined to forever be some horny bitch who couldn’t control her urges, always chasing that perfect moment of release no matter how many times I’d experienced it, or was there an actual, mature human being somewhere inside me waiting to get out?
The bus hit a pothole, jostling me from my thoughts. Even reality was giving me shit.
The restaurant glowed with warm amber lighting against the city skyline. Through the windows, I could see the casual bustle of waitstaff and the gentle flicker of small candles on each table, while beyond them the glow of skyscrapers created a backdrop of urban stars. Chloe was already at the restaurant, looking as cute and radiant as ever. Her brown hair had been carefully styled, soft curls framing her face. We’d agreed to not go overboard, so she wore jeans that hugged her legs and a blouse that hinted at her breasts without being overt.
I felt it again, that pesky emotion in my chest. I’d been with plenty of godlike men and goddesses like Victoria to know what desire felt like, but this was different in a way I couldn’t pinpoint. I’d felt that desire countless times—the sharp, immediate pull that preceded satisfaction. This was deeper, more diffuse, spreading through my chest rather than shooting straight between my legs. Oh, I absolutely wanted her, yet it was like that was secondary to the other feelings. It was both maddening and exhilarating how they mixed and clashed against each other.
As my legs carried me forward, the weight of the date settled in. It wasn’t a fancy place, just a nice restaurant at the edge of the shopping plaza. The scent of bread and tomato sauce wafted through the air as a group exited, laughing together. An older couple stood nearby, the guy’s arm draped comfortably around his partner’s shoulder—the easy intimacy of established relationships that I’d always mocked.
Chloe had insisted on casual, and this was the first place that came to mind, knowing she had a weakness for the breadsticks here. We’d been here a few times, but Jake or Victoria was usually with us. I was so used to having those two around to fill in the silence, but tonight there were no safety nets.
Was it hot outside? It felt hot outside.
My palms were slick with sweat, and my heart hammered against my ribs like it was trying to break free. The confidence that normally radiated from me like a second skin had evaporated, leaving me feeling naked and exposed. I hated feeling so fucking awkward and nervous. My life was filled with wild shit and none of that had made me feel this uncomfortable.
Don’t fuck this up.
“Hey,” I said, doing something with my hand that was a cross between a wave and a twitch. My fingers trembled. So fucking smooth. My smile was more of a wince as Chloe looked over at me. Then she smiled and it felt like all the nerves just drained from my body. She stood up on her toes and leaned in to kiss my cheek.
“Hey, you! Hungry?” she asked, her arm sliding into mine. Damn, she was smooth, putting herself up against me as if it were the most natural spot to be. The soft, floral scent of her perfume lingered, teasing my already frazzled brain.
“Wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.” That sounded incredibly dumb. Why did I fucking say that? I, Alexis Parker, who once orchestrated a threesome with the captain of the swim team and his girlfriend after just twenty minutes of flirting at a house party, was suddenly incapable of basic conversation.
This wasn’t like me at all. I flirted all the time with plenty of people. I was pretty damn good at it too and had the body count to prove it!
Chloe’s giggle chased away any negativity. “I hope the company is better than the food.” She flashed me that smile again and the butterflies in my stomach went crazy. God, what a cute smile she had.
I felt another wave of heat rush through me. “Sorry, I—”
“Alexis.” My mouth shut with an audible click of my teeth. “You don’t have to impress me or anything. I know this is supposed to be a date, but... I just really need a nice night with my best friend.”
I tensed. My stomach dropped like I’d just gone over the peak of a roller coaster. Shit. Did I fuck up already? Did she not see me as—
Another kiss completely derailed my thoughts. This time, she aimed for my lips, which apparently had a direct line to my heart because for a second there, I think it stopped. I blinked a few times, staring down at the blushing Chloe as she nervously brushed at her bangs. It would have been generous to call it a peck, but I could still feel the echo of her lips against mine.
So not ‘just a friend.’ Relief coursed through me, sweet and intoxicating. With a breath, I **** myself to relax. Taking a risk, I released the iron grip I had on my Gift. It brushed against her mind and I felt her welcome it with zero resistance. It was only the lightest of connections, her nervousness separate but no less intense than mine. I pulled away, feeling grounded now.
She tilted her head as she felt my Gift withdraw. “Something wrong?”
I shook my head, giving her a genuine smile. The tension in my shoulders and gut relaxed as I found myself. “Nah. I just don’t want to cheat by using my Gift.” My heart hammered as I grappled with my thoughts and feelings, forcing myself to put them into words. “It will be good practice... for Jake,” I managed. Ugh, I was a mess going on a date with Chloe. No idea how I was going to—
Her hand found mine, giving me that radiant smile of hers that made my chest feel lighter. “As much as I’m happy to hear that, you’re with me tonight. We have to promise each other: if either of us start talking about him, the other needs to stop it! This is about us.” Oh lord. That playful pout of hers was... Right. We were in public. Probably best not to dwell on those thoughts.
“Promise,” I said, squeezing her hand and let her lead me inside.
The hostess seated us at a small booth in the corner, where the ambient noise of the restaurant faded to a pleasant murmur. A fake candle flickered between us, painting Chloe’s face in soft gold light. Our server, a tired-looking woman in her forties, dropped off menus with practiced efficiency.
Ever since she’d asked me out, my brain had created countless scenarios of how it was all going to work. The conversations we’d have, the way the evening would play out, and even how we’d end it. I’d imagined us locked in passionate conversation, every word loaded with meaning, every glance electric. As soon as the date started, every scenario crumbled like sand through my fingers.
“So did you see they’re finally releasing the sequel to Knight’s Fall?” Chloe asked, tearing apart a breadstick.
“God, finally,” I replied, falling into our usual rhythm. “They’ve been teasing it for what, two years now?”
As the minutes morphed into hours, I found myself asking myself over and over: Is this really a date? I know we said it was, but it wasn’t anything like I expected. It was... normal? Like hanging out, talking about nothing and everything. How my classes were going, how school was for her, upcoming video games and movies we were interested in, family stuff; the usual. The only thing that was different, were the clothes and the location. Time simply drifted by as the two of us fell into the same pattern of conversation we always did.
A server dropped a plate, the crash drawing everyone’s attention. We locked eyes across the table and both burst into laughter at nothing in particular. Chloe’s eyes crinkled at the corners, and I was reminded once more how much I loved making her laugh. Not for any endgame or advantage, but simply because her joy was contagious.
“…which is around the time Victoria and I almost joined a cult,” I said, absently twirling my fork. “Completely by accident.”
Chloe nearly choked on her water. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Victoria saw this flyer about a ‘spiritual awakening’ with ‘physical transcendence’ at some house in the suburbs. She was convinced it was code for an orgy.” I rolled my eyes. “She dragged me along because the guy who handed her the flyer was hot.”
“Oh no,” Chloe said, already grinning in anticipation.
“So we show up in these ridiculous outfits—Victoria’s basically wearing lingerie under a coat. We walk in, and there’s like twenty people in white robes. Okay, great. We’re at the right place. Neat.”
Chloe covered her mouth, eyes wide. “It wasn’t a sex thing?”
“Not even a little,” I said, grinning. “I’m still convinced it was a celibacy cult—or at least a support group for people terrified of their own libidos. Lots of talk about ‘purifying lustful impulses’ through group meditation and what honestly felt like weaponized shame.”
Chloe was wheezing now. “Oh my god.”
“It had to be a celibacy thing, because Victoria nearly combusted once they started talking about, ‘The sacred power of withholding’ or some nonsense. The look in her eyes! Like the universe personally betrayed her.”
“What did you do?”
“Raided the snacks until they kicked us out. Apparently, Victoria made it incredibly difficult to put theory into practice.”
Chloe was full-on laughing now. “You two are menaces.”
I felt a warm glow watching Chloe laugh—her whole face lit up. Then a sinking feeling hit me. Did I just tell my new girlfriend about Victoria and I showing up to what we thought was an orgy? The words had tumbled out so naturally, like I was telling any of my usual hookup stories. My smile faltered for a second as I watched her reaction more carefully.
“I, uh—” I started, not sure how to backpedal.
But Chloe just wiped a tear from her eye, still chuckling. “I can just picture Victoria’s face when she realized what you two walked into.”
Relief washed over me. Chloe didn’t seem bothered by it. That was good, right?
It was after dessert that the conversation strayed into a more serious topics. “You have an idea on when you are going to get licensed?”
She paused, her expression faltering. I already regretted my words, wondering if I torpedoed the mood. Chloe rallied herself, determination clear as she met my gaze. “I’ll be honest, I haven’t looked much into it. Too many other things to worry about.”
“I looked into it some,” I said, shifting in my seat as I leaned forward. Her eyes widened slightly. There was a flicker of something in her expression—surprise, but also something warmer. So fucking cute. “There are a few directions you can go. I know we’ve talked about the emotional therapy and mental health support route, and you didn’t seem all that interested—which is good, considering you need to go to specialized training for that. They require endorsements and certifications to qualify for those licenses. Surprisingly, sexual triggers aren’t immediately disqualifying from those professions. It just requires more specialized training.”
Chloe ran her finger around the rim of her water glass, her eyes never leaving mine. “You’ve really researched this, haven’t you?”
“Maybe a little,” I admitted, trying to sound casual while my heart swelled at her notice. “It’s interesting stuff.”
I cleared my throat, sitting straighter. “Pain management is another aspect, and I don’t think it is one you’ve ever mentioned before. Again, it requires some certifications to get, but the requirements are easier and don’t require a college program. Considering the strength of your Gift and how long it lasts, it could be something to consider. No idea if it would work, but I know people in this category are in high demand.”
Chloe tilted her head. “Pain management? How does that work?”
“From what I gathered, it’s more for passive Gifts of the negative variety. It’s not at the level of emotional therapy, which is more permanent and borders on manipulating things to help someone better control their Gift. Pain management provides palliative care for those who need it.” I shrugged. “I hear they are developing **** to help with that, so I don’t know how the field looks long-term.”
She made a cute wrinkle of her nose. “Not really interested in that either.”
I grinned. “How about workplace productivity?”
That earned a snort of amusement. “Hardly. I’m more likely to disrupt operations than enhance them. The last thing I want to be is some corporate cog.” Once more, she was wrinkling her nose in disgust. “Ugh. Just thinking what I’d have to do...”
“Maybe you’ll be executive level only?” A wiggle of my eyebrows to help sell it.
She quickly batted that aside with a wave of her hand. “Pass.”
“The last ‘productive’ license group is stress relief. Other than that, it’s a recreational license.”
“And the difference?”
“Mostly what you’d expect. There are higher record-keeping standards for stress relief, but nothing overbearing. Some minor training requirements, slightly stricter screening, things like that. From what I’ve gathered, the main difference is stress relief is more nine to five sort of job, run under the umbrella of emotional therapy. Recreational is more independent.”
“I’m basically doing that now, so I’ll stick with that.”
“Not going for the nine to five?”
She made a face at the thought, though there was no missing the tension around her eyes. “I don’t want it to be a job—at least not one I’ll be doing forever. In a perfect world? I’ll do five or ten years, saving up and investing everything I can, then be in a good enough place financially to do something else.”
“You know there is no guarantee that you’ll be making the money you are now, right? There are costs. Fees, insurance, certifications, taxes, etc. Not to mention marketing. You’ll probably have to build up a new client base, and they certainly won’t be paying prices you charge now. Not at the start, at least.”
Chloe sank lower in her seat. “And this is why I haven’t thought about any of that. I’ve mostly been hoping some of my current regulars continue on.” Her tone turned playful, despite her obvious discomfort. “Why do you have to ruin my perfect fantasy for stupid reality?”
“I’ll look into it for you if you want. Give you a rough idea of what to expect. I’m sure there is information out there of people doing something similar to you.”
She had returned to a proper sitting position, propping her head up as she looked at me. “Why?”
“Huh?”
“You seem oddly enthusiastic about this. I don’t really see you this invested unless it is some game or hot guy.”
My eyes narrowed, ignoring the last barb. “What do you mean? I’m invested in plenty of things.” She gave me a look and I quickly backpedaled. “I mean... It’s not that weird for me to be interested in something like this, right?” I waved my hand, trying to dismiss her words. “I’ve always been interested in Gift use in the business world. I am majoring in it—and not because Natalie told me to pick something that synergized with my Gift!” Sure, she was the one who pushed me down the path, but that was only at the start! And yeah, there were a lot of hot guys in the program. BUT! Once I started paying attention and putting in some effort...”
“You sure it’s not because you want me sleeping with other men?”
That took me by surprise. Not necessarily because it was true—though it totally appealed to me in a way—but rather how little that aspect played a part in this. Sure, now I was thinking about it, but earlier? I hadn’t spent the past few weeks looking into things because I wanted to push Chloe down this path, but because it was something she wanted. My only motivation until now had been to support her.
“Alexis?”
I snapped back to the present. “Er, no? I mean, not really.” I took a second to compose myself, finding what I wanted to say. “I know this is important to you. You want to be independent, and that’s cool! And... I want you to be successful. I want you to do what makes you happy. Be someone who makes you happy.” I reached across the table, putting my hand over hers. “I know Jake has your back, but you know I do too, right?” She turned her hand, fingers lightly squeezing mine in a silent gesture of thanks. I couldn’t stop the grin from spreading across my face, or the words that followed. “Besides, your customers are probably all going to be old rich dudes. Ew. You can have them.”
Any heavy emotions were blasted away by her laugh. It was sudden and loud, causing her to quickly clamp her hand against her mouth as she struggled to hold back. “I hate you so much,” she said, wiping a tear from her eye as she fought to regain control of herself.
It was infectious though, and I couldn’t stop laughing myself. We were drawing a few stares, but screw them. An elderly couple at a nearby table watched us with nostalgic smiles, the woman leaning over to pat her husband’s hand. The two of us were having fun, and that was all that mattered.
But like all good things, it came to an end. We talked a bit more about future plans, mostly mine, as we waited for our ride. I was most likely destined to be the ‘corporate cog’ she so passionately rebuffed. I didn’t mind it, so long as I had enough to do the things I wanted to do. As to what those things were, it was to be determined.
By all measures, tonight had been a success. The two of us had fun, the mood was good... so why was I so disappointed? Was this really what a date was? Where was the nervous energy that the night started with? The romantic tension? Romance in general. I’d seen enough movies to know there should have been breathless moments, lingering gazes, tentative touches loaded with meaning.
Fuck. That really said something about me if I was taking romance advice from goddamn movies.
Reflecting on dinner, we’d barely flirted. The more I thought about it, the more concerned I got. This was no different than what we usually did.
Had I fucked things up?
The city lights twinkled through the car windows as we rode to her place, a kaleidoscope of neon signs and streetlamps painting patterns across her face. Traffic moved steadily around us as we navigated through the crowded downtown streets. A thick silence was an unwanted third passenger. In just a few minutes, the ‘date’ would be over and... what? My thoughts were all over the place. It’s not that I wanted sex—well, I did. I wanted it quite badly. Yet it wasn’t at the front of my mind like it usually was. My concern here was that the mood seemed... off. I wasn’t a romantic person, I knew that and accepted it. It was something that never bothered me before, but now that deficiency was haunting me. I had zero experience in this, a thought that sent my stomach sinking.
Seduction? I could do that. Flirting with someone with the intention of getting laid? Easy mode. But what of a relationship? A real one. One with romance and passion and... what? The moment I thought about it in terms of relationships, everything seemed foreign. I had never wanted that, but now that I did? I was hopelessly lost on what I was supposed to be doing and feeling.
Chloe was silent too, hands resting in her lap as she stared out the window. Streetlights illuminated her face in rhythmic flashes, giving me glimpses of her expression—pensive, nervous, and something else I couldn’t identify. It took everything I had to resist taking a peek with my Gift. I wanted to say it was because I was disciplined enough, but the reality was I was scared at what I might find. Was she realizing that there wasn’t anything there? That I was really nothing more than a friend? Oh no. What if I was in the friendzone? That all of this was really—
“Alexis?” Her voice was soft, nearly lost beneath the sound of passing traffic. Pulled from my doomscrolling thoughts, I focused on her. She looked nervous. It was the first time I’d seen her unsure since the start. The way she was looking at me made me realize I missed what she’d said.
“Y-yeah?”
Her hand brushed a lock of hair back. “Want to come up?”
The question hung in the air between us, weighted with possibilities. The words didn’t immediately click before I saw we were in front of her apartment building. “Yeah. Sure.” Still not quite connecting what that meant, I got out of the car.
Together we rode the elevator up. The confined space amplified her presence, the scent of her perfume drawing me closer. Our shoulders brushed, sending electricity skittering across my skin. She hadn’t been this quiet and reserved since the start of the night, and now I was worried for a completely different set of reasons. Any other time, this would be exactly what I was hoping for. Things made sense when it was just sex. This though... It was weird. Everything was weird. Sex seemed like it was the last thing on my mind—shocking. No, my mind was racing with how naturally unnatural things were. Tonight was supposed to be different, dammit!
The elevator chimed, doors sliding open to reveal her hallway. Each step toward her apartment door felt significant, like crossing invisible thresholds.
My brain was still screaming at me to catch up to the situation when Chloe unlocked the door, leading me inside. The only thing I noticed was the muted sounds. Our footsteps. The rapid beat of my heart in my ears. The door closing behind me.
The apartment was dimly lit by a small lamp in the living room and the city lights filtering through the blinds. The familiar sound of a neighbor’s muffled TV drifted through the walls, the only background noise to our suddenly intensified heartbeats.
It was quiet, the realization it was only us here, causing more discomfort. What the hell was wrong with me? This scenario had played out a hundred times in my life—the private space, the tension, the inevitable progression toward physical release. So why did my hands shake? Why did my practiced confidence desert me now? This was my element. This was where I was supposed to thrive. This was the fucking point of all of this and—
My breath caught as a single thought struck me, completely foreign in nature. Sex wasn’t the point of all this. God, something was wrong with me. Before, I only looked at sex as a release of stress, or a good time in general. Standing here, looking at the only woman who made me feel like this, I found myself at a loss. Wasn’t this supposed to be different? It was supposed to be different. What that difference was, I didn’t know, but I knew everything about tonight had been wrong. Where was the romance? Passion? It was as if the needle hasn’t moved at all. Chloe was supposed to be my girlfriend, but what did that mean?
“Alexis?” Chloe was facing me, still looking adorably nervous and self-conscious.
“I’m sorry,” I said as I felt my shoulders slump. “I’m fucking this up, aren’t I? This... This was supposed to be a date, and... nothing feels different. It was just the same as us hanging out.”
There was that shy smile, and it seemed like some of the anxiety had faded. “What were you expecting?”
“I don’t know. Romance? Maybe more flirting and teasing?” I ran a hand through my hair, frustrated at my inability to articulate what was missing. My eyes drifted away, voice lowering. “Feeling like something changed.”
“That is probably my fault.” She looked sheepish when my eyes found her. “To be honest, a lot of my dates with Jake are like what we had. He is romantic in his own way, but romance, passion, and things like that aren’t his strong suit. Being so nervous, I might have fallen back into the familiar.”
I found myself smiling. “Well, it’s not like I’m a bastion of romance.”
Some of the tension in me seemed to fade when I saw her smiling. “I’m beginning to think I have a type.” Her hands found mine, and I focused on how warm and soft they were. “I had fun tonight. This was... exactly what I needed.”
“So why am I still feeling so off?” My voice cracked slightly, the vulnerability surprising even me. I didn’t want to sound like I was complaining, but I was struggling here. “Why does it feel like... I dunno... We are just friends?” There was something in the way she looked at me. “Chloe?”
She didn’t respond right away, and I was fascinated with the slow flush that heated her cheeks. Her words were mumbled, low enough that I didn’t catch them. Only after prodding her did she say it at a volume I could hear. “—with a woman before.” My hand must have tensed in hers, because her eyes widened as her face flushed again. “I mean that—what I’m trying to say is—it’s that, I, uh...”
Understanding washed over me, followed quickly by a wave of tenderness that caught me off guard. When had I ever felt protective of someone else’s insecurities?
I felt like an asshole. Ever since puberty awoke my inner sexuality, gender never played a role in who I was attracted to. Sure, there were preferences, but all it took for those to be broken were a smile and a great ass—bonus points for a nice pair of tits. Or as simple as a face that struck me while in the mood. I had standards and I mostly kept to them. Ultimately though, sex was sex, and I enjoyed the differences men and women brought to the experience.
“It’s different for you,” I said gently, my usual brashness softening. “I get that. It’s okay to be a little frightened. Hell, I am too.”
So being attracted to a woman was nothing new to me. Chloe though? I remembered back to our first time, connected by my Gift. Her conflicted feelings towards me before we took the plunge. I had never considered Chloe might still be working through her attraction to women. Men made sense to her. Women? Maybe not so much.
Especially when there wasn’t booze involved.
“Are you attracted to me?” The question left me feeling naked, more exposed than I’d ever felt during actual nakedness. This was a new feeling for me, one that made me feel sick to my stomach. Did I want to hear the answer? To have so much stress and drama only to find out there wasn’t anything more than friendship between us...
She didn’t answer, only taking a step forward. I didn’t need my Gift to know she was nervous. The air between us seemed to grow thicker, charged with possibility. The world narrowed until it was only her, my breathing slowing as I felt her body press against mine. Those beautiful hazel eyes, the way a few strands of her hair fell over them. The curve of her lips, nervous and hopeful. I could feel her breath, warm and faint against my face as she closed in. A shiver raced down my spine as I realized what she wanted, slowly moving to grant her silent request.
My past faded away—all the meaningless encounters, the emotionless pleasure, the hollow connections. None of it had prepared me for this moment.
There were no doubts, no second guessing. It felt like the world faded away. Her lips brushed mine, the barest of contacts as if testing something. There was a pause, and all I could hear was the sound of blood in my ears as I waited for her to make her decision. The second kiss... It was as if the kiss was a circuit, completing and sending an electric pulse through my body. My heart was racing, heat building to a flashpoint. That small spark set off a powder keg of emotions off within me, obliterating the dam that once held them. My Gift roared to life, **** for a connection; one it instantly found with her. There was no resistance, no defenses to stop me from sinking into her mind. My emotions were a bonfire, and the moment mine touched hers, they ignited. The feedback was intense, the emotions between us burning white hot, threatening to consume us both.
There was nothing to compare this to. I had been with countless partners over the years, some I even liked. Yet sex had always remained the same no matter the partner. An enjoyable, pleasurable release to be shared. This kiss, a simple kiss, it was so different. There was something that went beyond the physical. A closeness that words failed to describe. I could feel her heartbeat against mine, our breaths mingling together, the softness of her body against mine. The emotional feedback from my Gift was overwhelming, two sets of emotions in a burning maelstrom.
It was fucking terrifying.
Terrifying, because I had spent years chasing the thrill and pleasure of sex, yet it was the furthest thing on my mind. I could lose myself in this feeling. Drown in Chloe. Her lips. Her scent. Her taste. Her body. Her mind. That connection between us was like a high I’d never experienced. Intoxicating and addictive, all the more terrifying that the feeling was mutual. She wanted it just as bad as I did, and there was no controlling the feedback between us. Her fingers dug into my shirt as mine laced through her hair and around her waist, pulling her closer. There was no control, no rhyme or reason, only the **** need for more.
What's next?
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